School refuser that actually likes school

[ClawedButler]

So, DD is 8 and just about every morning we have an absolute battle to get out the door and off to school. She shouts, stomps, flat out refuses, hides, dawdles, pretends not to hear, anything to not go to school. She tells us she hates it, and every evening tells us she had "the worst day ever". She doesn't want to go to bed at night (where we have similar battles), partly because it usually means getting up and going to school in the morning.

So I've been trying to think of ways to make school more palatable, but I'm stumped.

Then I had the parent-teacher consultation, and her class teacher painted a completely different picture. She's always happy and smiling, she has lots of friends, she works hard, she's doing quite well, all good things.

So wtf is going on? What can I say to her in the mornings?? If I say something like, "But you enjoy it when you're there" she will EXPLODE. I don't know why. She does this with baths - absolutely refuses to get in, then once in, stays in there happily for an hour!

I'm at my wits' end.

I have a ds like that (still). Both school and baths or really any kind of washing!

I would say though that she's probably masking at school. So she looks fine, happy etc but is covering up. Then when she gets out it overwhelms her. Ds sometimes literally steps into the car and melts as the door closes.
I was asked recently for a score out of 10 how happy he was at school, I said 4, his teacher said 9 and he said -2.5.

Ds has just been diagnosed with ASD, which may be something to consider.

Yeah, what PP said. It may be that she cannot put a finger to why she hates it, so hard to ask. Is there anything she would rather be doing? Maybe that would be a question I'd ask - not why she dislikes school, but what does she like. What makes her happy, comfortable, what brings her peace. If she tells you, take it from there.
May be easier about the bath, it may be the noise of the water, smell (honestly anything really). Hope you figure it out and she feels better.

Thx people, I never thought about masking, that may well be something to look into