pleading with 4 year old ds at most mealtimes

[jenjins]

He will find something wrong everytime i put something in front of him and would rather snack on things during the day unless its Wagamama can you believe! He has just started to have school dinners as he started in Reception in september and they tell me he eats ok. I have a 14 month dd so i try to combine something that they can both eat rather than cooking seperate dishes but i am beginning to hate cooking as i am running out of ideas and almost terrified of his reaction. He isnt fussy i just think he is being lazy whereas dd eats anything, thank god!! I have stopped him practically having snacks. Any suggestions please?

Stopping snacks is a good idea, yes
also, don't plead, it means he gets attention - just put it down and he either eats it or he doesn't but don't make a big deal of it.

Hi, i have 2 dd's one (the eldest 3.9) is realy fussy and would rather snack and the other (20 months) will eat anything i give her.

We had a few bad months with dd1 where she would kick up a fuss if she did'nt have fish fingers, refused to eat her dinner and then ask for a snack.

Now i just put it down infront of her, i she does'nt eat it she does'nt get a snack. I don't make a fuss over it and offten i end up chucking a plate of food in the bin . Since doing this i have managed to get her to eat carrots, she used to screem if any veg was on her plate

What www said. Offer food, if he eats it, he eats it, if he doesn't, he doesn't. No fuss.

I don't think snacks are necessarily a problem at this age, just make sure they're all healthy (fruit etc).

DS has always been like this with food - I agree, don't make an issue of it and don't start offering alternatives (bitter voice of experience here ). Plus if he's having school dinners, then he's getting plenty to eat. What I do when ds is having lunch at school is feed dd a 'meal' at lunchtime and give them something lighter for tea - they love 'birthday tea' (sandwiches, fruit, bits of cheese, things they can pick at) or muffin pizzas etc.

And there is light at the end of the tunnel - ds has been a nightmare eater since he was 2. But he's 6.5 now and he's just hit that stage everyone tells you about when they never stop eating - I just can't feed him fast enough now.

thanks all for advice. ive always thought i must just take it away if he doesnt want it but always hoped he would in the end but he never does. i would just end up with indegestion and him in tears mainly. From now on then i will just ignore and carry on with eating mine then!!!

I don't negotiate. The food it there. I don't care if it's eaten or not. They won't starve. Sometimes the argument over these things is not really worth the effort. Meals should be fun. Put food down, no discussion. You eat. Also don't have in the house any junk food and then he can't eat it.

i just did it now at dinner and just put it in the bin with half of the chaos. we went out for lunch today and as usual when we're out he ate loads. anyway ive hidden the pomme bears etc and i intend to stick to it!

i have 2 DDs who would snack all day if i let them.

i went through the battle stage with DD1 and stopped battling and hey presto, she got better at meal times (it took a while though).

My children don't seem to need to eat as much as others so now I just do one "meal" and then one or two "snackier" type meals. That works better for us. The snackier type meals can of course be just as healthy, i do a selection of: crusty bread, proper ham, chunks of cheese, peeled cut up apple, cucumber, lightly cooked carrot sticks, cherry tomatoes, small new potatoes etc etc.. Letting them help themselves works wonders too.

The other tip i had from someone was to reduce their portions massively, then give them more if they wanted it. Great advice.

thats a good idea amidaiwish. i suppose it must look like loads when you put in on their plates. Your snacks are just what he has too for instance when on a school day. lets just hope it all improves from now on..

Hi Jenjins,
I have two DD, DD1 is now almost 7, but used to be very fussy, well she still is but no so much. When she was around 4 I had to tell her, that if she didn't eat what was in her plate, the same will be for the next meal, and it will be until she ate it. She used to drink a lot of milk, and even milk was out unless she ate her dinner/lunch or whatever it was. Well, she starve herself for 24 hours, she didn't eat anything at all, but at the end she ate it.
I had never been force to eat anything, so I didn't feel well in forcing her, but it got to a stage that she wouldn't eat the fishfingers if the breadcrumb broke when I cut them into quarters, so I thought that was too much, and that it is why I did it.
So after that day and two more within two weeks, we have no problems with food. And don't give him any attention, as that it is probably why is he doing it. I can see, that usually are the first borns who are more fussy, and the atention seeking could be the answer.