Health visitors judgement

[mummog]

My son is 15 months (technically he was 2 months premature) and he doesn't talk much. He says cat and car and experiments with sounds. I read to him twice a day. My husband and I live in a multigenerational household and he has multiple people around him talking almost daily (while daddy's at work).

I know a lot of people who have teaching backgrounds and they all say he's progressing fine. I personally see him making progress every day. He's not good at gestures or words though.

The health visitor when keeps rubbing me the wrong way. The questionnaires put babies into colours of development ('black' if they're doing really badly, 'white' if they're doing well). So my son is in the 'grey' for speech. However, i find it quite appalling to categorise babies like this. He's developing well at his own pace, and saying he's in the black/grey sounds so much like a deficit.

Maybe I'm being too sensitive? Was this grading used before covid-19? Or is this a peculiarity to where i live?

You're being too sensitive, it's used for their records to easily see who they need to keep an eye on and for what reason. He doesn't know that he's grey for speech! It isn't going to effect him in anyway (other than if he does need support down the line the HV as flagged it early).

I suspect it's the lack of gesturing, more then the lack of language that she's keeping an eye on.

You are being too sensitive. They look at your child's skills and grade them, if they are in the black the need a referral to a professional, grey means they will keep and eye on them, white means on track. It's to help your child, not to judge them.

If you want to look yourself you can Google ASQ assesment - your child's age, and see what they are looking at.

Hi @mummog
I don't think you're being too sensitive as the previous poster said. I don't like the way babies and toddlers are categorised either.

Unfortunately health visitors do their tick box checks which are very standard but it can make us parents feel uneasy. I had my son's 2 year check a few months ago and I challenged the hv on a few of the questions. She marked my son down for not being able to use a knife and fork or put on his coat independently at the age of 2! So I couldn't help it, I bluntly said, I've taught reception children for a while and not many of them have even mastered those things by that age. She didn't know what to say to that, hehe!

However, the hv also told me that some of the assessments they use are from America and aren't particularly age appropriate or fair. So it's worth keeping that in mind but still annoying all the same.

My son also wasn't saying much at 15 months so don't worry. I think that's still very young. My son only really started talking a lot when he got past 2 and now at 2.7, he doesn't stop!

My 8.5 week preemie didn't talk until over 18 months. We were told when we took her home, and then by all professionals involved, to disregard milestones and only be concerned if she hadnt done something 6 months after the given milestone for a full term baby. So your HV is wrong to make you feel like this and should know that preemies are different.

The Ages and stages questionnaire is used internationally and has an excellent evidence base for picking up delays. Being in the grey though is still "passing" and your little one will just need a bit of extra monitoring. It doesn't mean it will turn into a true delay. Lack of gestures at this age is more of an issue than number of words but with a preemie baby definitely allow more time. I wouldn't worry.

My very able and verbal three year old was in the grey for communication at 9 month as an example. Had easily caught up by a year.

@Foreverbaffled
@AnxietyMumEpi
@NuffSaidSam

Thanks for your responses! I do think understand the purpose, i just wonder why they use these silly 'black' and 'white' analogies. Restrict it to the paperwork if they must, but it seems very weird to use it with parents. Rather than just saying 'keep an eye on this' or 'try this'.

Also thanks for your story of your very verbal child, @Foreverbaffled . My son was put in the 'black' for his gross motor skills motor skills at 6 months, but he's now he's got the best movement of all the similarly aged kids i know (running, climbing/ descending stairs, etc).

I feel that the 'black' label was excessive given he naturally just got past the hurdle as most babies will. Its fine for them to record it but as parents there is very little we can do apart from worry.

I do know what you mean. I had terrible post natal anxiety with my first DS and it really didn't help. Saying that I guess it's good if they are onto these things early (although not sure much intervention is offered either way!) I always found my son took to the end of the timeframe to actually pass everything (eg the 12 month asq is actually for between 11 and 13 months etc) so there is always that to take into consideration too.

The ASQ tests have been in used for many years - it's a standardized test so it compares ability against abilities from a very large sample size. A white box is the average range, is what most babies are able to do at that age, grey is below average (so 1 standard deviation below the mean) and black is well below average (so 2 standard deviations below the mean) - it does not mean that they will not catch up eventually, most babies do, but it highlights areas where they might be struggling with and hence parents can focus their efforts and adapt their activities to help them in those areas.

You are being over sensitive and these forms aren't new. They are back, grey and white. Howrver, I agree that they can exacerbate postnatal anxiety. My son was only in the white for one category, in the back for two, and grey for all the others. I was so stressed about it! But he's caught up now and is doing brilliantly.

My second son is now 10 months old and I haven't even done his ASQ form yet. I had a quick look and can see that he's probably going to be in the grey for some things but asked on my experience with my older son I realise now that that's probably absolutely fine.