Cannot cope with my 5 year old DD

[Whoscoatsthatjacket]

I have a DS 7 and a 5.5 year old DD.
I am literally at the end of my tether with her behaviour and don’t know how to deal with it.
A lot of the time she can be sweet and funny but she has this side to her which is just vile.
She’s rude, cheeky, she has this nasty streak where she can just turn on her brother and hurt him. I just don’t know the best way to deal with it. I never had any of this with my DS.
Any suggestions? 😢😢

What are the circumstances in which she behaves badly? Is there anything that triggers it?

Is she lashing out at her brother in a way that suggests she’s not in control, or does she plan it and mean it?

It’s always in “retaliation” for something he’s perceived to have done wrong.. for example tonight, I was about to do some reading with him and she was deliberately annoying him by trying to read his book while he was. Because he told her to stop .. she kicked him.
They wind each other up... which I guess is normal sibling stuff... but when I tell her off, she becomes rude, will grit her teeth, will keep answering back constantly.. sometimes she’ll turn quite vicious, she’ll try and head butt me or dig her nails in, she’s kicked DH.
I dread to think what she’ll be like as a teenager 😢😢

Just to add there are no issues in school.. she’s an angel there 🙄🙄

Hi @Whoscoatsthatjacket interesting I'm going through v similar stage with my DD of a same age, pre school she was a relatively shy, compliant child but since school wow!! I actually spoke to a teacher at the school who did reassure me. At school her behaviour was v good/normal for reception and that sometimes kids struggle holding in emotions/ being good at school that when they come home they have this diva attitude/ aggressive behaviour towards siblings as they're in their comfort zone. A trick that works for me is when she going off on one rather than retaliating (like I usually do) I calmly ask her why she is doing it and she usually ends up exhausted in tears shrugging her shoulders. I think/hope it's relatively normal and once she is used to school hours will calm a bit. Best of luck

No suggestions unfortunately but I feel the pain!!! I have a 5yr old DS and his tantrums and RANDOM and AWFUL... i feel like a terrible mumma when i cant figure out how or why to stop/fix it and he drives me pretty..completely bananas most days!!! I keep syaing that old "this too shall pass" and hope it's true!!! Sorry i have no actual suggestions xxxx

I am the exact same with my daughter. She is getting worse and the only word is a real diva. She is nasty to her brother, bullies him although he is 4 years older than her. She stamps her feet if I say no, throws herself to the ground, screams. She never hits me or kicks me but she kicks the car and hits her brother often.

I am started just being very very strict. Tonight she kicked off for absolutely no reason on the way to the shop to pick a sweet. She kicked her brother, fell to the ground, when she was in the car she was kicking all the seats (I only bought it last week ) then she took her seatbelt off. So her brother got a sweet and she didn’t.

Ofcourse she kicked off even more and I felt awful and close to giving in but I truly believe that strong consistent consequences might change the behaviour. I hope and pray.

Iv just posted very similar about my daughter. I'm really lost on how to move forward. It's getting worse each day 😓