10 month old communication development

[Firsttimemum2706]

Hi everyone, just looking for some advise.

I’ve become increasingly concerned about by 10.5 month old having communication delays and given I have googled so much (I know I shouldn’t!) that she could have ASD. I know this is such a wide spectrum (my mum works with children with special needs) but I’m just noticing a few concerns...

The reasons I am concerned are:

Her name: She doesn’t respond to her name. Admittedly we have been guilty of using nicknames, however in recent weeks have really tried to stick to her name but she doesn’t turn round or respond. Maybe she does occasionally but this could be coincidence.

Eye contact: she does give eye contact, for example when having her nappy changed or in her high chair. If you sing to her, play games or act silly she will give eye contact, smile and laugh. She smiles at peekaboo. However you really have to work at getting her attention. She doesn’t look at most strangers, people regularly comment on this. What is strange is I feel she used to be much better at this with constant eye contact with both us and strangers.

Getting her attention: you can do this by singing and dancing etc, she will smile and look over when you sing something she knows. But by saying her name, or even me (her mum) entering the room and talking she won’t turn round.

Mimicking / waving etc: she doesn’t do any of this. She is interested when we wave, and gets excited (or at least that’s what I think it is!) But she doesn’t try to copy

Everything else she seems great with, crawling is super speedy, she is standing and walking whilst holding onto furniture. She feeds herself well and has really great fine motor skills. Plays with all her toys. She plays without any meaning (ie just throws things, bashes toys against other toys etc etc, she doesn’t ‘stack blocks’ or anything like that), I’m guessing this is just her age though. She babbles dadada, bababa, she used to do mamamama but hasn’t done this in a while. She doesn’t engage in back and forth babbling though.

Just wondering if anyone had/has similar concerns and what the outcome was? She seems so content in her own little world sometimes.

Please please please stop focusing on this. I know that is easier said than done, but I went down this route with my first son and he is now 2.5 and absolutely fine. I bitterly regret by endless worrying and Googling now. I have a 10 month old who is exactly as you describe yours (not as advanced as yours though) and this time round I've realised that they are all so different it is so hard to know if it is neurotypical behaviour or not. Babies and toddlers are super weird! And even if there are any issues, at 10 months old you won't be able to do anything about it anyway. Google postnatal anxiety instead - that's what I should have been googling. Please please don't think I'm being flippant or patronising- I just hate the thought of you regretting that time spent worrying like I did with my first baby. I can't say 100% that your baby is fine and nobody can right now But I can tell you she sounds just like both of my sons at that age (more advanced actually).

Thanks so much for your reply. I have had / do have PND and anxiety played a big role in this, so I do know my anxiety has now attached itself to this. My husband had concerns too, however since we have been really trying to get her attention he is more content with her development, and just thinks she’s more interested in the physical than the communication side of things currently!

I’m so glad your son is well, and I know even if she did have ASD it’s not the end of the world! Just wondering if anyone had any similar experiences x

She might be just developing in her own way, in her own time. It's just too early to know either way. The range of normal development is very broad.

However, you could look at the ASQ questionnaire for her age group, and you could also contact your HV and mention your concerns. If her 1 year check is due, you could request that this is looked at earlier. You might then get some advice - or reassurance - which might help you to manage the anxiety you are experiencing, or find strategies to support her if your concerns do seem to point to something.

Agree with previous poster... BUT don't be too stressed by the ASQs. My 2.5 yesr old 'failed' all but one area when he was 10 months old. He was awful on physical and couldn't even roll still! Now he is at the top end of the chart for everything. My current 10 month old also isn't doing too great on his ASQ (did his last week) but I haven't worried this time around as I saw the progress his big brother made... plus I know there's not much I could do anyway.

I think seeking reassurance would be really helpful for you though. If you can afford it, even seeking advice of a paediatrician could be worth it - purely to ease your concerns!

Thank you everyone for taking the time to respond. We did her ASQ and she did really well on motor and fine motor, personal and social. Communication and problem solving were ‘grey’, however I was told they don’t usually worry about that at this stage. We have been referred for a hearing test but the wait is 8 weeks so have booked her in privately for next week.

We have wondered about glue ear, so that’s what we’re getting checked as her newborn hearing screening was fine.

I think even with reassurance I still concern myself, I really need to get over it though. Like you’ve all said - they develop at their own pace. She’s starting nursery in a couple of weeks which I think will be great for her development, also good for me to get back to work and maybe stop obsessing!

@Firsttimemum2706

Thank you everyone for taking the time to respond. We did her ASQ and she did really well on motor and fine motor, personal and social. Communication and problem solving were ‘grey’, however I was told they don’t usually worry about that at this stage. We have been referred for a hearing test but the wait is 8 weeks so have booked her in privately for next week.

We have wondered about glue ear, so that’s what we’re getting checked as her newborn hearing screening was fine.

I think even with reassurance I still concern myself, I really need to get over it though. Like you’ve all said - they develop at their own pace. She’s starting nursery in a couple of weeks which I think will be great for her development, also good for me to get back to work and maybe stop obsessing!

Oh OP - biggest hugs. I know how you feel, I was obsessed over DD and her lack of gross motor skills. I wound myself up in knots, spent hours googling and doing every assessment I could find online. She scored in the black on the 12 month check and I was so sure she would never walk. She walked at 16 months and gets better and better every day. They just do it all in their own time. My HV told me firstly not to worry at all, and secondly that thoughts aren't facts. So just because you're worrying and finding examples of things you've found online doesn't make it a fact that something is wrong with your DD. I repeat it to myself like a mantra when I go down a rabbit hole. Nursery will do wonders too, they see so many children they have such w good handle on what is normal. fWIW they never raised what I considered her gross motor delays and actually marked her in the right age category for them - which was a huge eye opener at how broad the age range actually is for a lot of things. because there is no hug icon x

You know, I only felt better and stopped obsessing when I went back to work. I think it was a control thing. Nursery is amazing too and they see so many babies- they'll know if something is obviously 'off'. Best of luck!

@surreygirl1987

You know, I only felt better and stopped obsessing when I went back to work. I think it was a control thing. Nursery is amazing too and they see so many babies- they'll know if something is obviously 'off'. Best of luck!

Actually @surreygirl1987 had a point. I got a lot better once I returned to work.

Thanks everyone again for your replies and encouragement.

We had a private appointment with an audiologist and she does have glue ear, causing moderate hearing loss. We’ve been referred to ENT where they will review further.

She’s really developed a sense of humour over the past few days which is lovely, trying to make us laugh by being silly. They have said her hearing loss will be impacting her communication, but there’s a chance with new stimulation at nursery this will improve.

Surreygirl1987 - control is totally it. And hoping with new focuses (ie work) I can let go and relax a bit

Lovely update. Hope the return to work goes well and the glue ear gets sorted.