Overwhelmed by baby’s tyrannical behaviour

[hungryunicorn]

Hi, just hoping for some shared experiences here as I’m feeling rather hopeless. I have a bright, funny baby who is now 9 months old, and who is a tyrant for my attention. He will play alone on his mat for 5 minutes at most before dramatically crying and yelling for me even when I’m next to him. It’s been like this since he got out of the newborn stage (prior to that he had colic and reflux which wasn’t much fun either) I’d always thought that he’d become less demanding once he became more independent (being able to sit up, for example) but it seems to be getting worse! Even when I’m playing with him he’ll get frustrated at one point and start crying. I live abroad and have had no support from family except my husband. We have recently been fortunate enough to go away on a little trip within our country and DS was a dream! He loved the outings and being with both parents. He was delightful when we saw family. Now we’re home and the same pattern of behaviour is back I’m wondering if this is specifically aimed at me and how I can break the cycle. I struggle to get anything done in the house because if he’s not napping I have to be at his beck and call or he tantrums. Advice would be much appreciated.

Is he better if you get him out of the house? Could you be out and about a bit more if he's better around other people? It's not clear from your post whether you're already doing that, but just a thought. Even if it's just a walk in the buggy to grab a takeaway coffee as a treat or something. Or a baby class?

Some new/different toys to bring out, or toys on rotation, so that he's more likely to get absorbed in something for a bit longer is another idea.

It sounds very hard if you haven't got a lot of support around you - you're doing a brilliant job in managing so well as it can be very isolating.

Thank you for your kind words. We go for at least one walk a day, sometimes two if the weather is OK. He’s settled in the pram as long as we keep moving. I’d love to take him to baby classes but strangely it doesn’t appear to be a ‘thing’ here.

Toy rotation is a good idea. I do try to mix them up, and when it’s fine I take him into the garden to play for a change of scenery. Nothing lasts very long though and I get myself exhausted going from pillar to post trying to entertain him. I noticed when we were away that he would sit up very well for a prolonged time but when he’s with me he’s constantly falling back and whinging to be put right again.

Don’t get me wrong, he can be an absolute ray of sunshine, he loves to laugh and is super observant and smart. I just feel like I need to change the dynamic before it’s too late (or maybe it already is)

It is a shame about classes. Any local mums' meet ups or Facebook groups? Different toys can help to make it more interesting for you also, if funds allow for buying the odd new thing. A whole day to fill with a 9 month old is very long if you're on your own, and you're clearly doing everything possible to make the most out of the time.

Can you make the toy rotation work with your need to get things done in different parts of the house? When mine was younger, I had a few bits in more or less every room in the house, and those things pretty much stayed where they were. I need to put away washing, time to play with the bedroom toys. Getting lunch, kitchen toys. (I did still rotate some, and kept one or two in reserve to bring out when I really needed to finish something/have a moment's peace.)

Does he count singing or talking to him as sufficient attention for an extra few minutes? If he's starting to clap or do peekaboo or 'so big' or anything like that, I used to 'play' those whilst getting on with other things.