husband/ partner upset toddler doesn't go to him

[lovesT]

Anyone else's husband get a bit upset and then frustrated when baby/ toddler doesn't want to go to him, only mum? Isn't this quite normal especially when mum is the one toddler spends most of the time with? Toddler is 15m old. He just seems to get annoyed that she's not always happy with him and puts him in a bad mood 😕

Toddlers go to people who make them feel safe and cared for. It sounds like your DH needs to make an effort to nurture his child and give her a reason to feel safe with him.

@Poppinjay

Toddlers go to people who make them feel safe and cared for. It sounds like your DH needs to make an effort to nurture his child and give her a reason to feel safe with him.

This is ridiculous. Toddlers go through phases of wanting specific people. My toddler is daddy obsessed but that doesn't mean I don't nurture her. Don't be absolutely insane.

@yarnover I agree, he's a good dad and she loves him but she's going through a phase at the moment where she only wants me and hardly ever him. It has happened before and I'm happy to go with the flow but it definitely upsets him that he's not able to help when she's being clingy and feels a bit sad that she doesn't want him I think.

It's just a general question about how other dads feel when this happens.

He just seems to get annoyed that she's not always happy with him and puts him in a bad mood

^ That's what's insane.

If it's an exaggeration, fair enough. If not, it's no surprise she doesn't want to go to him.

Kids are bound to go through phases, but for many things it's usually the mum they will go to (when sick, upset, hurting etc). I try to excite our son about daddy, and tbh when he wants to have fun he goes to dad. I always say when coming back from park what they will do with daddy, and generally keep the "daddy" thing positive and exciting and I keep reminding him that daddy is cool and can help him do things.

But when he bumps his head or has toothache or is just unsettled, it's mummy. My DH is aware, and although he is a bit sad about it, I also do it the other way (so I make sure to voice to my son that "only daddy does that" or that "daddy will help you bc mummy cannot do this"). So I parent them both, making sure to voice to my son when DH is there that daddy is the cool one, and I am the one that says no to climbing on the window. It helps!