Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Strategies for ds 6 to deal with his temper

11 replies

titchy · 16/11/2007 09:20

Ideas gratefully received....

ds is a very sensetive little boy, very perceptive and empathetic, but at the same time quite immature emotionally. As a result, I think, he finds it difficult to deal with this emotions, particularly his temper. He externalises things which is good IMO - I don't want him to turn into a child/adult who internalises things, worrying about stuff and keeping it all in. So that fact that he wears his heart on his sleeve is good. However he has a real temper and today has to see the Head techer for the 2nd time this year for kicking/hitting other children.

There have also been minor incidents of physical 'attacks' on other children. In his mind he is always justified in retaliating - one major incident where he punched someone on the chin was because the victim was being nasty to one of his freinds for instance so ds waded in to help his friend out.

However much as these incidents may be justifiable in his own head, obviously physically attacking other kids at school is not acceptable. We have given his strategies like counting to 10, stamping his feet, clenching his fists etc but in the heat of the moment he forgets about these, and the fact that it is wrong to hit and that he will be punished (which he is quite scared about).

He gets plenty of attention at home, ispunished at home by restricting playstation time (curretnly limited to 30 mins per day), being send to his roomto calm down etc.

So thanks for gettig to the end of this - any ideas, anyone?

TIA

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
titchy · 16/11/2007 11:43

Bump!

OP posts:
Donk · 16/11/2007 12:11

Maybe try roleplaying the strategies?

  1. You start to (pretend to )get angry, get him to tell you how to manage the anger.
  2. Get him to roleplay managing his own anger. Maybe it will help him to internalise the strategies a bit more?
titchy · 16/11/2007 14:04

Good idea donk - I'll try that.

Anyone else?

OP posts:
dustystar · 16/11/2007 14:08

One thing my Mum does in her school (she's a SENCO) and we have done with ds is to teach him about the physical sensations associated with anger. E.G. Staring to feel hot, heart beating faster, clenching your fists etc. This helps DS recognise when he is starting to get angry.

dustystar · 16/11/2007 14:10

DS also has some difficulty distinguishing between feeling of anger and sadness - both in himself and also in other people. This results in him usually becoming angry when he gets upset.

CodDickinson · 16/11/2007 17:26

ooh ooh i haev an idea but am busy atm
tis my angry hadns
will check in later or tomorrow

mumandlovingit · 18/11/2007 14:34

im very interested in any ideas people have regarding this as my son was 6 in june and has similar problems.

he banged two childrens heads together friday at school and doesnt seem to know the reason why. he also cut a small bit of a girls hair thursday in school.

when he gets upset it turns into anger, when he's worried it comes out as anger and seems to have a hard time with feelings and knowing how to deal with them.

the doctor has referred him to see someone to try to find out the reasons behind his outbursts and jeckyll/hyde nature at the moment and hopefully provide us with some strategies to use with him at home and school to calm things for him. he worries so much about having friends etc as he was bullied at his previous school and im worried that the children will see him doing things and not want to be his friend.

he's very bright and im wondering if certain areas ie social skills etc have been left behind abit

dustystar · 19/11/2007 09:48

Cod
I'd be interested in your angry hands idea if you've got time to explain it

dustystar · 19/11/2007 14:07

.

BundleBrent · 19/11/2007 20:30

I'd be interested as well, another mum with a 6 year old son who is exactly the same.

titchy · 20/11/2007 12:53

Cod where are you!!!!!

Donk - we tried the role playing at the weekend, and (horrid mum emoticon) I tried making him cross by telling him his Playstation time was up after only 10mins - and at home he managed to control his temper (apparetnly he thought of the Harry Potter theme tune and that calmed him down! ) The role playing seemed to sink in a bit actually, and he said yesterday that although he got cross at school yesterday cos someone touched his junk model he managed to control it. So fingers crossed....

Still want Cod's angry hands method thogh!

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page