Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

Original poster

DD is a shameless attention seeker - what can I do?

10 replies

Jasmum · 15/11/2007 11:43

DD has always needed a massive amount of attention. Too much has never been enough for her and it's very draining especially if we have people over. She doesn't allow other people to have a conversation, if she's paid even the slightes bit of attention by a visitor then she will continue to harrass them until they go. It doesn't seem to matter how many times I ask her to go and play whilst the 'grown ups' chat, she wants to get attention in anyway she can. I'm ashamed to say that I find it embarassing.

This isn't a new thing, but I always hoped she would of grown out of it by now but she's 5 and it's not getting better. It puts a massive strain on relationships and I tend to avoid my friends coming over or having to do things that involve other people while she is around for this reason.

At school she refuses to go in until a teacher comes out and gets her, when I pick her up she'll hide under a table to create attention around her. I've considered that maybe something is going on at school but am convinced there's not, I know she likes it but she just needs constant attention.

I'm finding it very hard and would be interested in any ideas, tips or am I the only person with an attention seeker.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Saturn74 · 15/11/2007 11:45

Does she have any hobbies or interests?
Maybe getting her involved with something with teams ie: sport or dance might take the focus of her a bit, whilst still allowing her to be part of everything.

ahundredtimes · 15/11/2007 11:45

My dd has strains of this. But I tell her to stop it, I say 'X doesn't want to talk to you now, she's talking to me. On your way.'

Or 'the teacher really cannot keep coming out to get you. This is absurd. You're to go in with the rest.'

Do you do that? Would it work?

Original poster

Jasmum · 15/11/2007 11:53

I do tell her that she has to go in with the other children and somedays she goes in OK but other days she'll refuse point blank and waits until someone comes to get her. I've tried, talking to her beforehand, bedtime chats, being strict, kind, supportive and have even resorted to dragging her in....in the end a teacher comes out and coaxes her in.

Hobbies, not really - she doesn't play with toys by herself at all and generally hangs around me asking for food which is another issue altogether but equally frustrating and embarrassing.

OP posts:

ahundredtimes · 15/11/2007 12:02

Sympathies, it's not easy.

She is being quite manipulative isn't she? Do you have idea why she feels the need to exert this kind of control over grown-ups?

She may grow out of it yet. Five is young still. Peer group friendships may change her behaviour, because she'll work out quite quickly that her friends won't put up with it! Or else she may just grow up to become a demanding actress. . . .

DynamicNanny · 15/11/2007 12:13

My advice would be to ignore the behaviour and be slightly stricter than you are now - take her to the door of the classroom and tell her its time to go in and then leave - walk around the corner - if she's hiding under a table just say oh well C isn't here I'd better go - don't get drawn into the behaviour - also see if another child will go ito school with your DD it's not fair on the staff to have to leave the room and come to the door and pick up a child when there are other jobs that need doing.

pirategirl · 15/11/2007 12:17

you mention a food issue> what is it, are they linked to her behaviour. cuold be significant?

timetogohome · 15/11/2007 15:54

My nearly 3 year old DD has always demanded a lot of my attention. Its nice to hear that I'm not alone. Pirategirl - my DD asks for lots of food and drinks throughout the day which I have sometimes thought is out of boredom than being hungry. What significance could this have?

sunglasses · 15/11/2007 19:48

I was just going to post a similar thing- My 2.4 dd is so demanding! She also cant really play with toys on her own, her speech is excellent for her age and so she talks none stop all day, she cant keep still!!! Not even when reading a story together, she will be arching her back or kicking the book etc, I tried to do a sticking activity today with her and she was bored after about a minute, She also does things to get attention like asking for food or just generally demanding things or complaining that shoes are too tight or wants sleeves rolled up etc, etc. My husband and I can rarely have a conversation as she just keeps asking for things louder and louder till she gets what she wants. I have a 6 month old as well and it is starting to really wear me out. She was a fast developer as a baby, early to turn over, crawl, talk etc so I am thinking its just her personality. Its really hard though isnt it? I was rather hoping she might grow out of it but worried after hearing your post! Is she an only child?
My second child seems very different as a baby so far so I am sure that it is just her way. I am really trying to encourage her to play by herself a bit more which can sometimes work for short periods! Perhaps your daughter is a bright child like mine and prefers adult company. Does she have a friend at school she could go in with or wait with?

timetogohome · 15/11/2007 21:13

Its so exhausting at times isn't it! Jasmum Sympathies as I sometimes have to resort to putting on a DVD just to keep my little one quiet for 5 minutes so I can hold a conversation. Sunglasses - my DD cannot sit still either which I find quite frustrating at times, especially when trying to read to her or do activities together. She has a real tendency to flit from one thing to another and I'm also hoping she will grow out of this with age.

hayCHingleBells · 15/11/2007 21:25

My dd1 is kind of like this, not quite so bad though.
The attention seeking now she is 7, has gone from as you have described to almost flirtatious. Its creepy and embarressing. She definitely has a crush on one of dps friends. He doesnt get it all and plays with her innocently, she gets more and more wild and frantic.

She follows me around the house, less so than she used to, and never plays by herself with anything.
She is these days more into spending time on the computer alone and undisturbed, which is nice for me. She also enjoys her music on loud in her room, which again is fine wih me as long as she isnt under my feet and talking endlessly about nothing, its fine with me.

She can be quite shy also which is bizarre. If someone wants to talk to her and is a bit pushy, she blanks them. If they dont want to really talk to her shes more loud and annoying.

Never had any problems like you have described at school though.
I agree with dynamic, ignore it and walk away, around the corner out of sight. Do not respond to it, keep calm and dont mention it when she comes running round to see where youve gone, just change the subject and distract her.
Maybe worth talking to the teacher and both agree to a way that you will both tackle it. Combined effort, with you and school should knock it on the head.

Flip