Hi, im really not sure what to do about this as no experience with it up until lockdown happened. My DS is 9 and on the autism spectrum, attends mainstream school, i also have a 'neurotypical' DS who started Reception last year. I have been a SAHM for 9 years (couldnt go back to work as DS1 came home with various medical issues- he was a 26 week prem baby). Once DS2 started reception i was fully intending on 'getting my life back' again and go into an apprenticeship as im only 28 and want to learn more, my brain is like mush after staying at home so long. Anyway, after having absolutely no issues separating from me during his 9 years and being really very brave and not bothered saying goodbye to me or anything going into school, DS1 9 YR old has been getting very upset and worked up about me leaving him with DH (his dad) and going out without him even to the shops, he hates the idea of going into after school club and again starts crying/hyperventilating if i suggest picking him up at 4:30 instead of 3pm. My DH works full time and neither grandparents would take him. I literally have no support apart from DH who is always at work and life is feeling very lonely and depressing. in fact i have actually been diagnosed with depression. i dont even know who i am anymore.
im starting to feel like i will never get a life of my own, or even an identity outside of mum/carer. Please someone tell me this is all just a normal phase 