Should I be worried about possible Autism?

[rosierose3]

I am really sorry for the long post but this has been on my mind for a while now and I am looking for some guidance, reassurance, advice. I have a 19 month old DS2 who over the last couple of months I have become concerned may be on the autistic spectrum.

My concerns mainly started because he doesn't have many words for his age, probably about 6 he says often, he also knows his older two sibling names but only says these when he wants to. As I've been looking into this I've come across other things and I have started to over analyse him. My older two I'm sure were talking more than him at this age. He also babbles a lot and chatters away to himself but I don't understand what he is saying. He is my 3rd child and all the ASD indicators are new to me as I never researched them for my older two.

I don't really have any concerns about his understanding, he seems to understand the majority of what I say to him. If I get my coat on to go out, he'll automatically go to the front door to go out too, he'll get his shoes when I ask him (most of the time), he'll give things to his brother and sister when I ask him to and will even give them their coats when we are going out when I haven't asked him to, he generally follows instructions well.

I have only just realised that pointing is a big indicator so I have been watching him like a hawk recently with this. He does point to things of interest with his index finger; birds, or Peppa pig or something out the window when we are in the car. Although we've just been for a lovely walk and there was so much around us and he didn't point to anything. I then didn't really enjoy the walk as I was constantly watching him and thinking, please point to something. Like I say I am constantly analysing him now. And then at the very end of the walk, after I'd watched him the whole time, he pointed at things twice on our way back to the car!

He doesn't tend to point when he wants something though, he generally gestures towards it instead like he is trying to grab it. If he wants something to eat he will take me to the fridge and then gesture towards something in the fridge rather than point to it. He will point to things in books with his index finger, although not always the things I have asked him to point to, and I have started giving him a choice of things to eat, like an orange or a banana to see if he chooses and he does normally point to the one he wants.

He isn't really around other children other than his older brother and sister. I find some days he is interested in them and other days not so much. He can't obviously get involved and play what they are playing (they are 6 and 4 and play role play together a lot). It was my DS1 birthday the other day and he was interested in his new toys and he also likes to chase after him and him to chase after him and he giggles when doing so; like he knows it is a game and finds it fun.

He has been pretty cautious about other people but I am not sure if that is the affect of lockdown and not being around other people very much. He has pretty much been with me every day since he was born and if I haven't been there he's been with his Dad. Although the other day I needed my Mom to look after him and he hasn't been to their house in a long time due to lockdown so when I took him round for a practice run he walked around the whole time holding my hand, the next time we went I needed to leave him as I had an appointment and he was better apparently when I wasn't there. He just got on with it, didn't get upset but as soon as I was back he was all Mummy again and wanted to hold my hand everywhere. I am hoping with restrictions easing this may improve.

He will come and show me things, toys and books (again when he wants) and he brings me the remote when he wants to watch Peppa pig.

I'm not really sure if he looks at me when he is uncertain of something. I've never really noticed this so I found it hard to answer yes or no on the mchat to this.

Like I said I have done the m-chat and he would probably fail 2, maybe 3 (depending how you interpret them) although I have found two different ones so wasn't sure which is the one to use.

I did speak to my HV on the phone the other day, and all she was bothered about and asked me about was his understanding and asked me to give her some examples of what he does in certain situations. She said she wasn't concerned at all. She didn't ask about other possible indicators and I wasn't as clued up on them then so I didn't mention them either.

I will also add that occasionally he walks on his top toes. He'll be walking, and randomly go up on them and after a few steps he'll go down. Although I have noticed he has been doing it less the last few days. I'm sure my other boy did this for a short period too and stopped but I can't really remember.

He also occasionally stares into space, I am still trying to figure out if he does this when he is just tired or other times too. I haven't got that far yet. He will do it for about 15 seconds (if that) and he can be easily brought back round but it is worrying me.

I would love to hear if anyone has any thoughts or advice they can share as I feel I am being totally consumed by this at the moment and it is affecting my time with him. I feel like I am constantly watching, analysing him rather than enjoying him at the moment.

Thank you xx

I'm an SEN teacher specialising in ASD honestly no, I don't think there's anything to be concerned about with what you've said for a 19 month year old. For his age and considering the impact that lockdown has had on children, there are no red flags for ASD here.
Obviously I've not met him so this is based only on what you've said, but I wouldn't be concerned at this point.

@YarnOver thank you so much for coming back to me. I have read so much online over the last few weeks that I has totally consumed me and I have been analysing everything my poor little man has been doing. I appreciate your thoughts on my post. Thank you x

Nothing really jumps as really concerning for his age; six words at 19M is not too far behind (10-15 expected and that can include animal sounds), walking in tip toes and staring into spaces all young children do - the only thing I would keep an eye on is his pointing to request, at the moment it sounds like he is using his hold hand to gesture/grab from afar to what he wants, you really want to see this turn into index finger pointing in the next few months and before 24M.

@YarnOver

I'm an SEN teacher specialising in ASD honestly no, I don't think there's anything to be concerned about with what you've said for a 19 month year old. For his age and considering the impact that lockdown has had on children, there are no red flags for ASD here. Obviously I've not met him so this is based only on what you've said, but I wouldn't be concerned at this point.

Hello, just out of curiosity do you think the pandemic has effected speech milestones for toddlers etc?

I would respectfully disagree. As long as he is indicating what he wants, which it seems he is, then the way he points / gestures is fine. I say that in this situation as eveyrthing else is normal so if the one thing is that he doesn't point with an index finger but can make his needs known then I still wouldn't be concerned.

@Dbrea I couldn't say with any authority because I work with non verbal learners.
There is research to say that it has, and an alarming percentage of mainstream early years teachers have been reporting regression or delays.

As a parent though I'm not sure. My LO didn't go to nursery until gone 3 due to various issues we had at home (nothing to do with her ) and so in essence she had an experience similar to lockdown with the number of people she saw, and her speech is fine. My toddler has grown up in lockdown, again ..fine.
But they're 2 individual cases and so if there are a large amount of education professionals speaking up and saying there are delays and it has had an effect then I would believe them!

I too would respectfully agree - following that logic, then if he can move from A to B by crawling then why the need to walk? if you can communicate with gestures alone why the need to talk?.... basic skills are superseded by more complex and useful skills, index finger pointing to request superseded many more primitive skills - missing, very late or out of order key milestones is generally considered to be atypical development and should be investigated. Index finger pointing to request and to share interests is an innate skill and not a taught skill, similar to walking (and many other skills) - a typically developing child who never sees anyone point or walk will still do both (normally) by 18M.

@YarnOver

I would respectfully disagree. As long as he is indicating what he wants, which it seems he is, then the way he points / gestures is fine. I say that in this situation as eveyrthing else is normal so if the one thing is that he doesn't point with an index finger but can make his needs known then I still wouldn't be concerned.

I too would respectfully disagree - following that logic, then if he can move from A to B by crawling then why the need to walk? if you can communicate with gestures alone why the need to talk?.... basic skills are superseded by more complex and useful skills, index finger pointing to request superseded many more primitive skills - missing, very late or out of order key milestones is generally considered to be atypical development and should be investigated. Index finger pointing to request and to share interests is an innate skill and not a taught skill, similar to walking (and many other skills) - a typically developing child who never sees anyone point or walk will still do both (normally) by 18M.

@AladdinMum thanks for your thoughts too.
I am worried that he doesn't do this still I must admit. I am wishing and (praying) that he is just a little behind but something is telling me that there could be more to it.
Has anyone ever known LOs to just be a bit late pointing to request and everything turn out to be ok? I can't remember when my other two started doing it; if you aren't aware of the importance of pointing you don't tend to notice it. Now all of a sudden I notice when everyone points as it is so much on my radar.
I'm worried.

Sounds like a typical toddler to me.

@rosierose3 yes, I have seen many cases of children distal point to request/share as late as 22M and go on to develop typically, however, on the flip side I have never seen a case of a child distal pointing after 24M and not have an underlying developmental issue. When it comes to autism, case studies and research strongly suggests that it is the pointing to share that gets impaired the most, much more than pointing to request, so the fact that your son already points to share is a very positive and encouraging sign :)

[quote rosierose3]@AladdinMum thanks for your thoughts too.
I am worried that he doesn't do this still I must admit. I am wishing and (praying) that he is just a little behind but something is telling me that there could be more to it.
Has anyone ever known LOs to just be a bit late pointing to request and everything turn out to be ok? I can't remember when my other two started doing it; if you aren't aware of the importance of pointing you don't tend to notice it. Now all of a sudden I notice when everyone points as it is so much on my radar.
I'm worried.[/quote]
Neither of mine have ever pointed at anything, either to request it or point it out. They have developed neurotypically (despite the fact that I am not ). They have literally never pointed at anything

Well that is very rare indeed, not one but both your children, I have never seen like that before. Even children with developmental conditions like autism tend to start pointing (at least to request if not to share) from 2.5-3Y onwards.

@AladdinMum

Well that is very rare indeed, not one but both your children, I have never seen like that before. Even children with developmental conditions like autism tend to start pointing (at least to request if not to share) from 2.5-3Y onwards.

@AladdinMum they still don't! They share, track objects, make requests etc but no pointing. dd1 is very verbal and always has been, so she missed it out and just said what she wanted/ described what saw, brought things to share and described things etc and to the other extreme dd2 was very preemie.

We were told to allow minimum 6 months extra to achieve milestones. But she's missed quite a lot of things out,then met ones "above" them but much later. This was all just before and during lockdown so we never got the ot/ physio / salt input that we'd asked for before lockdown. So we just managed, I tried best I could with what I knew from work. She is also stubborn to a fault and not wanting to be left behind copied her sister walking, talking, climbing (but not pointing!!) etc as she didn't want to be left behind but was pretty delayed with all of those things.

So, not wishing to derail a thread any further...that hopefully gives a bit of explanation why they both didn't.

However from another point of view it is an example I suppose of how and why lockdowns have affected development (which OP asked about) .

Schools and nurseries are reporting huge amount of delays in communication, which includes pointing. I believe that there's a 40% rise in speech and language delays being seen in the EYFS (from teacher reports I can't remember the exact figure but this was reported on the BBC by the DfE the other week). So I wouldn't like to say either way for OPs DS but, if he does now continue to develop neurotypically, it could be that he, like my DD and absolutely scores of children has been affected by the pandemic in his communication development.

Thank you so much for this Yarnover.. had helped me out alot 😘

Hi, can I ask how your LO is doing?