Worried about my son's physical development - please help

[fedupwasherwoman]

Ds is a bright little boy and I know that I shouldn't compare to others but even he himself has noticed that he just can't keep up with other boys of his age when they are running about.

He just doesn't seem to take very big strides even though he's one of the taller boys. It's almost like he doesn't bend his knees or throw one leg forward to achieve a long running stride.

He doesn't seem to have much upper arm strength either. All his friends climb up on gates and fences using their arms to pull themselves up and flinging their legs up to achieve sitting on top but he just hangs around at the bottom maybe clinging to the gate and swinging on say a gate, but he just doesn't seem to be able to climb it.

So far only a couple of boys have been mean enough to laugh at him and the girls don't notice so much but he notices too and cried once because he was always last to get from one end of the play area to the other.

I've looked for gym classes or something but he's too young at the moment (almost 5) and he won't go to swimming lessons like his friends either.

Does anyone have any suggestions ?

little people develope at different rates. if you think there may be something not quite right take him to the doctor and voice your concerns even if it is just to reassure you. he is only 5 after all and has plenty of time to catch up.

I thought about the G.P. thing but to understand what I mean they'd really need to observe him playing a he wouldn't "perform" for a stranger on request iyswim.

My DD is like this washerwoman, her older sis is so athletic so it's quite marked. Younger one is however built just like me (shortarse) so I know she'll catch up eventually.

I have two sons and I've always been struck my the huge variation among their friends in terms of things like running fast or gracefully, being able to climb, etc.

I think I notice more boys with this sort of awkwardness than girls. I've always thought of it as a natural developmental variation, and certainly things have evened out quite a bit among my DS1's 12yo friends.

So my advice is not to feel worried. Though of course it would be completely reasonable to express your anxieties to a doctor or school nurse if you wanted to.

My ds was like this. He also ran in a very 'heavy footed' way. He can't climb for toffee (once had to get a girl to talk him down from a tree he had got stuck in) and is very awkward when catching or kicking a ball.

He is now 8, and the above has not really improved. He is just not one of the sporty boys at school, but his talents (and passion) lies with acting, dancing etc. He is also very confident on his bike, and a good swimmer)

They are all different. Of course see a gp if you are worried, but boys develop differently, and some are naturally more sporty than others.

I'd take him to the GP just for reassurance at least. Did he reach developmental milestones at the usual times?

He certainly wasn't first past the post at each of the physical milestones but no where near worryingly slow to get there. He struggled with toilet training and still has accidents at times and I haven't attempted to get him dry overnight yet . He hasn't yet lost the babyish look to his face compared to his classmates but he is very bright and loves learning about anything and everything.

I don't want to give him a complex about the running and climbing thing but he has another distinguishing facial feature that could single him out for schoolboy teasing in the future and I'm just trying to minimise the opportunities for this.

I just don't want to look back in the future and think "why didn't we get him some help earlier, if only we'd known that X,Y or Z would have helped his physical co-ordination/strength"

have you thought about trampolining? My ds1 has dyspraxia, and hypermobolity so struggles a lot physically but trampolining has helped him develop muscle strength and co-ordination.

How is his handwriting and fine motor skills? My son is dyspraxic too and that is where it really shows for him although he does have trouble with his gross motor skills as well, and particularly his upper body strength and coordination.

Have you tried showing him exactly what to do? For example, when playing on a climbing frame, I find I have to tap my DS's foot and almost pick it up and show him where to put it. He can't organise himself enough to work it out. Once he knows he is OKish but he needs my help to start with.

Your DS is only young so maybe he will catch up. Speak to your GP for a referral to an OT if you a very worried though.

thanks Chopster and Niecie

Ooh, now trampolining sounds fun.

Do you mean classes or just back garden trampolining ? Our garden isn't big enough for a trampoline.

Now that I think about it he was slow to learn to climb stairs properly, jump/hop and still doesn't really jump properly with both feet together. I had thought about getting a skipping rope too for practicing leg movements.

What is dyspraxia ?

I'm not sure about his handwriting as he's only just started this and it's probably something we need to practice at home too but I don't really know whay other kids of his age write like so I can't judge whether he's within the normal range for that iyswim.

about dyspraxia here. It's hard to sum up in a sentace but it is developmental disability which affects spatial awareness, co-ordination, and also presents autistic type symptoms.

I'd check out the local leisure center, ours does trampoling for various age groups. other things that will help is just lots of running and climbing activities. ds1's physiotherapist said the best physio is trips to the park or soft play.

This is copied from the Dyspraxia Foundation website

"Developmental dyspraxia is an impairment or immaturity of the organisation of movement. It is an immaturity in the way that the brain processes information, which results in messages not being properly or fully transmitted."

Some people call it 'Clumsy Child Syndrome' although that is not very PC but it gives a bit of a mental picture I suppose.

I'm not suggesting that your DS definitely has it but he does have similarities with my DS. My DS has poor upper body strength and poor organisational skills, by which I mean how to make his body to achieve physical goals. This means that he perhaps can't climb a climbing frame because he can't work out what he needs to do with his hands and feet to make it happen.

I asked about the handwriting and the fine motor skills as that is where a lot of dyspraxic children particularly suffer. I know it is early days with his handwriting but does he at least have a good pencil grip as my DS couldn't even work out how to do this for a long time.

However, a couple of similarities doesn't mean your ds has the condition but I just mentioned a coping strategy that helped us.

Thanks again Neicie and Chopster

It is easy to see loads of things in the list of dyspraxic traits and panic......

However ds can colour in neatly and cut out stuff has made friends at school despite being from outside the catchment area and not knowing any of the other kids before he started. He climbs on a chair and kitchen counter to reach the biscuits cupboard so...., overall I'd say he wasn't dyspraxic.

Perhaps he's just been cursed with the clumsy gene by his genetic link to me although I apparently climbed like a mountain goat at his age even though I am accident prone and clumsy.

We will try and find him a trampolining class if they start as young as 5 and keep trying to interest him in swimming lessons. I'll also have to endure more noisy softplay hell-holes perhaps with one of his friends so that he gets to charge around like a loon with them and try to copy them a bit.

My daughter is always falling over and in the end I took her to the doctors, but had to really push to get her seen by a peadatrition (sorry spelt wrong) who then refered her to physio and a podatrist and occupational health, no name has ever been put to her problems. She walks on her toes so she now has special inner soles in her special boots to keep her feet flater which has helped, unfortunatly she has been discharged from physio but her podiatrist is trying to get her seen again. She has poor muscle tone which doesn't help but she is now doing dancing and swimming and it is really helping and she has just started riding her bike without stabilisers which to us is a miricle. So speak to your doctor it may be nothing, but if not the sooner you get help the sooner you will see a difference. could be that he simply needs some physio.

He's very little still, and perhaps just not very strong. Also he's tall, so perhaps it is more difficult for him to organise his limbs properly.

I wouldn't worry too much. I think if he was dyspraxic you'd probably have a hunch, as he would have hit all gross milestones quite late probably. My ds2 is dyspraxic and didn't crawl until he was one, for instance.

Boys do lots of growing and changing, and I'm sure if you keep him active and encourage swimming and trampolining he will build up necessary strength over time. Maybe. My ds1 isn't especially fast though and he's 10, but my he has a lovely gait.

Washerwoman does he want to run faster, etc? DS just ambled aimlessly and wondered why he always lost races, until we finally helped him make the connection between putting effort in and going faster

If he does seem to have fine motor skills issues as well then I think a dyspraxia assessment would be worthwhile if only to put your mind at rest.

2 tests the OT at school applied to friends' 5 year olds - can he catch a (football-sized) ball, and can he hop?

Oh yes, he does want to run faster but just doesn't stride out very far with each step he takes. His fine motor skills seem fine but I'll check about hopping and ball catching when I get an appropriate moment.

He was slow to learn to jump with both feet together and still sort of leaps rather than jumping but I don't know if this is normal for his age.

I think we'll get a skipping rope too and mess about jumping over the rope and learning to skip.

Not trying to worry you even more but dyspraxia can vary a lot from person to person. For example, my DS crawled at 10 months and walked a 14 mths so not really delayed much but it is the organising of his limbs that he finds difficult - getting the left side of his body to work with the right side to do things like climbing or catching and throwing.

Like your DS and ahundredtimes's DS he is tall so that probably doesn't help. I distincting remember the most agile, physically capable boy when I was at Primary was definitely also the shortest and it is also that way with DS's friends. I am sure that given time they will get control of their limbs a bit more and be fine.

We can't all be good at everything and maybe he has hidden talents for something else other than climbing that will impress his friends. Can he ride a bike OK? Or perhaps he will be a good skipper.

Niecie

He's fine riding a bike, pedalling,steering, braking etc but we haven't got anywhere near taking the stabilisers off yet.

He definately has talent in being an early reader and so far good at maths but that sort of stuff doesn't tend to impress other kids when they're out playing together.

Off now to throw a ball at him and test his hopping too before bed time