Does your 3 yr old play independently?

[florenceuk]

...Cos my almost 3-yr old doesn't! He loves TV, and will sit for hours having books read to him, but hardly ever plays with his toys - in fact we had a conversation about this the other day. The main thing he will play with by himself is playdough (and this is fairly recent), but he won't play with cars, or trains, or blocks, or Lego, or a doll. Mostly he tries to take things apart, like the TV aerial, or tips things out on the floor and leaves them there. Or he piles up cushions and toys on the floor and calls it a "pond" and creates a huge mess. Is this normal? Because I've got a newborn, I seem to be spending hrs on the sofa and I'm slightly worried about the huge amounts of TV we seem to be watching...

My 3 year old (4 in March) will play on his own, particularly with string and coat hangers. He has also got a wooden knight castle which he plays with. Try turning off the TV at the wall and sit down and play with his toys with him for a bit - so he can see what he can do with them. We spend a long time trying to build Duplo towers to the ceiling, which does involve a bit of standing on chairs, but he is more interested in his lego now... good luck

She does, but I think (from comments on here and in RL) the extent to which she'll play alone is quite unusual. Will he play with lego or something if you start him off and then just make "helpful" comments?

He does - but I suspect that's partly because he's been to nursery since he was quite small, and he's picked the habit up there. Does your ds play with toys if he's in a group (plygroup/M&T/whatever) situation?

Florence i'm with you here, I wondered if it is a boy thing, DD 17 months is much better at entertaining herself, or the opposite of lunarsea, he is used to being entertained at nursery?
Anyway hope you find the answer cos as you know i'm in the same position and as ds is deaf and insists on having tv at level he can hear we are all being blasted at top volume!

ds who is 3 and 4 months plays for hours independently, but he is particularly into imaginary play, and has always liked to get 'really into' a game. Dd I think is going to be different - where ds would lie for ages on a play mat, just exploring the toys, she is much more into being 'with' people, and being entertained! They're all different aren't they!

DD is not very good at playing on her own. Wonder if tv/video has contributed to this, though our viewing time is not excessive. Also sometimes wonder if being an only child means that she's become accustomed to having me or babysitter available to her. The one place where she happily plays/sings on her own for extended periods is in the bath.....who knows why!

dd1 did play on her own at 3. dd2 won't, she wants company and interaction at all times.

both watched a great deal of tv when I was pregnant with and newly had dd3. One day when I was overdue I let dd1 watch for 6 hours nonstop I did feel guilty about it but now, 6 months on, we have cut it down a lot and they are watching far less.

ds1 (age 3.5) plays on his own - particularly with his train set with which he has a deep obsession !

It helps that ds2 is 2 so they also play together - well, ds1 tells ds2 what to do and bosses him about!!

I think they are just all different. Friends of mine have kids that want her to play with them all the time, whatever they are doing. I feel a bit guilty because she always seems to be doing stuff directly with them, but half the time, mine don't want to and why force myself when they are playing happily together?!

One of my twin dds (3.7) plays for ages on her own, loves to go up to her bedroom alone and read, do jigsaws, draw. Her sister is the complete opposite, wants constant company and interaction. It's causing a lot of friction between them.

Um, he sounds a bit like my ds. He loves books, stories, poems, Cbeebies and has no interest in cars or trains or any of the things you mention. Can't wait for him to learn to read!

But he will sometimes happily chat to his toys and sing for an hour or so in bed before he falls asleep.

Well, DS does play with toys at other peoples' houses but I suspect it is partly novelty value, and even then he just can't seem to settle down with them for long. He will do sticking and stuff at nursery as well, it's just home that seems to be the problem. I just long for a child who will peacefully push his trains around the track instead of dismantling the track and chucking it round the room!

My three year old pootles off and plays but has, I think, a remarkably strong fantasy life.

And she loves the telly too.

Ds1 (4.5) never really played with toys until last Christmas when he was 3.5 and got the ELC pirate ship - he then spent hours playing with it and since then has got more interested in toys. Otherwise he used to spend ages doing elaborate things with ropes and sticks, or taking things apart, or doing 'exercises'. He would also look at books for ages, listen to stories, and he loves TV.

Ds2 (2 and a bit) is much more interested in toys - currently trains - and is less inclined to sit down with a book or watch TV. To be honest, I wish he would watch a bit more TV!

My son is 3yr 4 months and it is only in the past month or so that he has started playing independently, eg making up little games with lego farm, and playing made-up games with his older sister. So I would not worry florenceuk - my son was also a real tv addict at that stage. When i had a new baby 8 months ago we watched heaps of videos and cbeebies, but you have to do do whatever to get you through the day. I've heard from other mothers that it is often only at 3yrs + that they start to play imaginatively.