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Original poster

speech delay - I feel so upset

20 replies

dinny · 13/11/2007 21:37

just been to ds (3 and 2 months) pre-school parents' evening and his key worker said his speech is still delayed and we should push for re-assessment. he was seen by speech therapist in June and she was pleased with him but said she'd see him before Christmas to review things.

ds has a good vocabulary but does find it hard to get out what he wants to say and make himself understood - but it doesn't upset him. why could it be delayed? I am sure his hearing is OK, he did get stuck at birth.... Oh, this has upset me - feel it's my fault and I haven't spent enough time talking to him/one on one etc.

sorrt, rambling! any advice gratefully received.

OP posts:
hunkermunker · 13/11/2007 21:41

Oh, darling

What do they mean by delayed? You say his vocab's good, but it's his pronunciation?

I don't think the shoulder dystocia has anything to do with it, and I know how attentive and lovely you are with them, so I'm sure it's not that you don't talk with him enough!

Not sure that helps at all, but just wanted to give you a big hug. See you on Thursday? xx xx

BarefootDancer · 13/11/2007 21:45

You are doing the right thing. It is not your fault.

electra · 13/11/2007 21:45

What is his receptive language like - does he understand what is said to him, follow 2 step instructions? Does he seem to have any communication problems? How about his play?

electra · 13/11/2007 21:46

You mustn't think it is your fault though

wrinklytum · 13/11/2007 21:47

Hugs.It is NOT your fault.Hopefully SALT will be able to give you some constructive advice to help.xxx

hunkermunker · 13/11/2007 21:49

Also, he's always been massively good at the physical stuff, hasn't he? I still remember that pic of him standing one-footed on his trike when he was tiny!

Do you think his speech is hard to understand?

Shannaratiger · 13/11/2007 21:57

Hugs
It's NOT your fault, I've been their. My DD has improved massively with SALT, sure they will be able to help u 2.

Original poster
dinny · 13/11/2007 21:58

thanks for all the posts,

dh and I both agree he has a good vocab range but I don't really think he tries to use it much at playgroup. we can understand him but sometimes we can't (not that often) - he never gets frustrated though, so suppose in a way I notice LESS than I would have done with dd (who would fly off the handle if we couldn't understand her)

Electra - he understands everything you say, follows instructions, says things like "I need to tell you something, Mummy. I do love you. You're the best girl in the world."

Surely he's Ok if he can think of and say things like that

Or he'll say "I want to be a Power Ranger when I grow up"

But he'd never say all that at playgroup - I said to her a lot of it is probably shyness, but she said "oh, he's happy and confident here", which he is, but that, to me, is a different thing to being shy and not one to speak out.

Ah, Hunker, bless you for remembering that pic - he could ride a bike a 16 months and has been without stabilisers since he was 2.5 (sorry, don't mean to boast but feel I have to champion the little man a bit!)

OP posts:
wrinklytum · 13/11/2007 22:00

Aaah,Dinny that's sos sweet!!!!The bit about loving Mummy!!!He sounds like a very bright little boy!!

hunkermunker · 13/11/2007 22:05

Sounds more like he's shy - do they encourage him to talk? Can you go in and help one day and see what he's like when you're there?]

DS1 often looks wide-eyed when one of the preschool leaders speaks to him (less now, but certainly when he started there) and scuttles off to play with trains - one of them was amazed to hear him chatting away to me when I stayed a while (because DS2 was playing with the sand and the trains and drawing a picture - honestly, I couldn't get DS1 to stay there to start with and I can't get DS2 to leave...!).

Original poster
dinny · 13/11/2007 22:07

think it's usual story - those who aren't quick to speak out don't get heard. but I really like the place and the teachers, think they are really good.

I just don't know - it's so upsetting being told that. I was sitting there thinking "I am going to start screaming in a minute - 'What are you saying is wrong with my child, FGS?'"

she also said - it'd be a good idea to chase up the SALT review as you don't want hm to be teased at school.

OP posts:
Pickie · 13/11/2007 22:09

My DS is very similar and it turned out to be glue ears (both) and think as there is so much noise in groups it is difficult for him to follow. Also due to the glue ears he cant hear certain sounds properly (low pitch)so that why he isnt pronouncing everything as it should be. Samehe never looses his temper over it.

electra · 13/11/2007 22:11

He sounds fine from what you say - he doesn't sound like he has a language delay at all to me. A language delay is much more serious than a speech delay, especially at this young age. I wouldn't feel too worried if I were you but I would think SALT may help.

Original poster
dinny · 13/11/2007 22:12

maybe I should push for hearing assessment in that case?

Electra - sorry, can you explain difference between speech and lang delay please?

OP posts:
paddingtonbear1 · 13/11/2007 22:21

my dd's speech has never been great - she knows what she wants to say and for the most part we can understand her, but she can't always get the words out and it comes out in a jumble. She's always had a lisp. She is 4 now and in school. Her teacher was concerned to begin with but has held off for now as she has improved since starting reception. I think we may need to get help for her though.
It's definitely not your fault, please try not to feel bad - easy to say I know!

electra · 13/11/2007 22:22

A child with a language delay would have a delay in receptive language compared with other children the same age. When there is an apparent delay in expressive language, but receptive language is fine I would say that is definitely not so worrying iyswim. But obviously, I'm not a paediatrician. A developmental paed is the person to see if you have concerns about your child. How is he socially?

Original poster
dinny · 13/11/2007 22:27

I didn't have concerns till tonight, Electra.

Socially, he is a confident and happy little boy at playgroup, building friendships, joining in, playing etc. That's what she said tonight. Socially from my perspective - he has some really good friends his own age - one he ADORES - and plays very happily with all the kids in the park after we pick up dd from school.

sounds like my ds, Paddington

OP posts:
moondog · 13/11/2007 22:37

Nowt wrong with him.
Blimey,my 3 year old is nowhere near that and I'm satisfied.
Listen, nursery school key workers know as much about speech and language development as I do about nuclear physics. Really.

Original poster
dinny · 13/11/2007 22:39

ha ha - oh, bless you. did wonder why SALT seemed happy with him in the summer....

OP posts:
electra · 13/11/2007 23:13

Completely agree with moondog, dinny. Nursery staff don't know what things are a real concern and which are not. Unfortunately a lot of children with severe problems do slip through the net (my dd is one who would have) but your ds sounds absolutely fine to me

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