I hate going out with toddler

[WhatssUpP]

Dear Experienced wise Mumsnetters,

I feel bad as I feel as if my Ds2 is missing out if I don't go out but I think the terrible twos have kicked in. I can't get him in his car seat or pushchair and he isn't sensible enough to walk and hold my hands at the same time. He cries a lot if I put him in his car seat and pushchair and if I put him in his reigns, I'm constantly pulling him from danger where he lets himself go and I end up dragging him. It's a nightmare now.

Due to covid, we have been hanging around locally (local park across the road) where I can just carry him but today has been pretty stressful as I went to the the town centre for the first time in months and he vomited because he cried so much for being in his pushchair. I just hate going out with him so much. I feel bad if I leave him with my dh and I feel like a terrible mother as his missing out from civilisation but I just can't cope anymore. Please tell me this is a phase and it will end in a couple of months (pleaseeee he just turned 2). Like everyone else, we have been locked up for so long and I'm really dreading the long summer days where I avoid going out because of this. I see toddlers in pushchairs happily gliding towards the rainbow and unicorns whereas mine acts as if I have knifes on the pushchair and he can't sit on it and cries as if he is being tortured. Any advice please.

Yours Sincerely,

Mum about to give up on being a mum

Aw I had one like that! I have two...the youngest DD was like a whirling dervish and wouldn't sit in buggy or walk nicely.

Don't feel guilty leaving him with DH! He's obviously not able to enjoy a trip out yet...he's too small to walk properly and hates buggies.

Concentrate on playing in the garden with him....when he's a bit more reasonable, he can come to town.

Town is never fun for toddlers anyway! They don't like shopping...they like running around.

Thank you so much for responding. I just felt it would be nice to have a change of scenery, see buses drive past, the hustle and bustle, pigeons flying about and plenty of snacks on his lap so he won't get bored while I nipped in to grab a coffee on my way to the post office to return some things. I hope I will be able to reason with come summer.

In my experience, they generally don't like visits to shopping centres or town centres until they're old enough to walk about and see things properly.

I think the hustle and bustle and being trapped is frustrating and overwhelming.

My baddie used to shoplift! I used to get home and find things underneath her bum where she'd grabbed stuff! I used to have to go back to the shops to return them!

By the time they're about 4 it's different. I used to take them to the shops they liked, to the museum and park and then they were happy.

No good doing anything I wanted though!

This made me laugh so much the shoplifting baddie! my little one has quick hands where he steals our phones and hides them so I'll expect shoplifting next! Thank you for reminding me of this to watch out for if we ever succeed in getting inside a shop without him causing a scene.

Have you tried going for walks with no aim and just following where he takes you and stopping at all the random tree sticks and rocks that absolutely must be picked up? I find that if I give my 2 year old daughter those no stress, non rushed walks she behaves better altogether.
Forget the pram if he dislikes it at the minute.
For car journeys - we give her videos to watch to keep everybody happy.
Town, shops and coffee will have to wait a few more months for your little boy to grow up :)

Mine is 2 years 5 months and has really enjoyed walks since about February. Before that he'd pull towards the fenced square on our estate for a run about and refused to go to the park or into town. It's definitely easier without a destination.

I wouldn't dream of trying to get a coffee or go into the post office on my own with DS at the moment. He won't queue and isn't a buggy fan!

Hi, thank you for your replies. There's a smaller park where it's all fenced, I tend to go there without his reigns and just follow him about. I just thought it would be nice and different type of stimulation for him to go out to the town centre short and sharp, I guess I have to forget about until he understands a bit more? We are going to house viewings right now and I don't have childcare to mind him so he comes along but DH watches him in the car with videos while I view and then DH goes in after I takeover. I take plenty of his favourite snacks to occupy him and sit at the back with videos on. It's just a shock to the system how he has changed so much because just before the last lockdown, we were literally dining at a restaurant and he was fine and now he just won't sit, walk along or even walk with his reigns on because the minute you change direction, he throws himself onto the floor with a full tantrum. My husband had to carry him on his shoulders the other day which he enjoyed, I was thinking maybe getting a toddler sling which is like a back pack but not sure it's worth investing as they start from £70.

I'm really hoping it will get better soon because we have all been really locked up for months and I just want him to enjoy this summer as he has missed out on so many activities and I just feel really guilty when I don't want to take him out as it's a nightmare.