Extremely high needs 7mo. Need some hope

[Fedfedfedup]

Hi all

My DD is 7 months old. She had a rough start with CMPA and adverse reactions to her jabs and so these first 7 months have been pretty stressful for both of us. I think we are over the worst of it but she is still super fussy, irritable and what I think would be classed as "high needs". I'm lucky if I brush my teeth before 5pm or make myself a bite to eat before my husband is back from work. Sleep is especially crap. Over the months, I've developed PNA (please be gentle) and pretty much feel like we have all been in survival mode. I know I should really have a routine by now, but I just haven't had the courage or energy to handle her meltdowns during the adjustment period. I am trying to get a handle on things and gradually get her into a predictable routine. My husband has been great with her and tries to reduce my load as much as possible.

My question is- has anyone else had a baby like this? Constant fussing, irritable, mood swings. We have seen the GP, paeds, cranial osteo. They all comment on her "fiery personality" jokingly but I am honestly worried that she will get worse as she gets older and into toddlerhood. My husband and I are both pretty calm people.

I try to be as patient as I can with her and never let myself lose composure in her presence. But deep down I am just so done. I don't want to resent her but it's heading that way. I feel like I must be missing something very obvious for her to be this high maintenance. I feel incompetent.

When she does have a good spell, she's so smiley and funny. She is meeting all her milestones so far and seems healthy otherwise.

Will she get better with time? Honestly just looking for some hope.

Maybe just her reactions to her mental leaps? My little girl is 8 months and is very affected by her mental leaps. My son on the other hand was hard work till 9months and then it all just settled. I hope there is a light at the end of the tunnel for you? 😘

I have CMPA @Fedfedfedup and I can be pretty difficult when I'm having a reaction. Just wondering if you've been referred to the allergy clinic yet and if that's been of any use?

You do have my total sympathy though, my DS was a High Needs Baby and it nearly bloody broke me. We eventually realised his was tongue Tie.

Can totally get that you've developed PNI as well, are you getting any decent help for that? I hope that you are

Oh my goodness I could have written this word for word. In fact I did on here about 1.5 months ago! My 9 month old LB was supremely high needs until about 6 months (CMPA, reflux, awful sleeper - would only sleep on me, extremes of mood, fussy 24/7, hated the pushchair and car seat, wouldn’t take a bottle or dummy etc...). I too was at my wits end, diagnosed with PPD and couldn’t ever see an end to ‘survival’. I think the cmpa played a part but most of it was just his personality (he’s also been described as fiery!)

At 9 months he’s still pretty high needs, still very big emotions but SO much better. It happened quite quickly at about 8 months actually. He suddenly tolerated the pushchair meaning I could take him out and he mastered sitting unassisted and a very inelegant craw - he’s now happy to be put down for 20 minutes as long as I’m pottering near by which would have been unheard of even 2 months ago! Has your DD hit these milestones yet? If they are just round the corner you might be in for some relief soon.

With regards to sleep, a real turning point came for us when we dropped up two naps and accepted he doesn’t need much daytime sleep. Alongside 3 meals a day it meant we finally had some semblance of a routine which I really needed - before that we were everywhere! Have you dropped to 2 naps already? How’s your LO’s eating? My LB gets maybe 1.45 or 2h during the day total (2x 1 hour is an amazing day of naps 😂) but, as long as we have busy, stimulating wake windows, he now naps easily IN A COT which again was completely unthinkable a few months ago and he sleeps 11h through the night. We cut night feeds and he co slept next to his dad during the transition and it was actually very smooth with minimal crying. I might be on borrowed time with the limited napping but currently I’m made up.

Anyway that long waffle was to say yes, it does get better. For us round about 8 months when he dropped to 2 naps, ate more food and could sit/start to crawl. A lot of folk said on my post it also gets better again when they can walk and then again when they can talk. I’m keeping everything crossed for you xx

Really feel for you, it is so challenging having a high needs baby and it nearly broke me. The good news is 16 months in and I have the most delightful toddler. I think learning to walk and communicate with us made such a difference, her entire personality changed, so it really does get better. X

Oh you poor lovely. I understand totally. My first DS was identical. I had horrendous PNA at the same time which was very difficult. Anyway this high needs fuss pot of a baby has turned into the most chilled out, delightful, kind and gentle 3 year old. Still super active but very balanced and rarely tantrums (never has really - we didn't experience the so called terrible twos at all). Things calmed down massively by 10-12 months old and once he was walking at 14 months he was happy :)

Good luck. I promise it will get easier. This is no bearing on how things may be in a year or even in a few months. You've got this.

Just to add that I think my DS was also massively frustrated with being a baby. Probably a bit of an off thing to say but once he could sign then talk and walk around he was like a different person. He's a super child and rather quite lovely teen now warning: may be biased

Thank you all for your replies- feeling a bit better about it all after reading that it's gotten better for some of you. I think what triggers me is when I see my friends' babies just being so much calmer than DD. Just makes me feel like i got it wrong somewhere. Ah well.

Thank you all for your replies- feeling a bit better about it all after reading that it's gotten better for some of you. I think what triggers me is when I see my friends' babies just being so much calmer than DD. Just makes me feel like i got it wrong somewhere. Ah we

My extremely placid and happy baby is now a teen that's seeming to swing between raging, stroping and crying this weekend. Having a calm baby is sign that they are doing things better than you or that things will remain calm

Sooo DD learnt to sit unaided over the last week and miraculously I'm able to leave her for 10-15 mins sometimes (I know it's not long but it's a bloody miracle for me) and actually get stuff done! Woohoo

Amazing!! Made up for you x