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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Is it normal

27 replies

spottyshoes · 10/11/2007 20:00

for a baby to have a complete and utter tantrum everytime you try and put him to sleep 'awake'? My ds is currently purple, howling and alternating between clinging to the bars and turning himself 360, getting wedged across it sideways with his feet stuck out the bars in the process!!!!!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Bewilderbeast · 10/11/2007 20:03

totally normal for mine! He's still doing it at 12 months old. He can scream none stop for hours if he is minded to do so. As a consequence we tend to let him fall asleep on our bed with one of us next to him but not touching him and then transfer him to bed. Not necessarily the recommended way of doing things but it does save the beetroot face.

Original poster

spottyshoes · 10/11/2007 20:10

Thank God! It feels like it's just me. Must confess I didnt think we would get to 7 mths and still have to rock/feed him to sleep. Bloody Health visitor always said "dont worry he is only small" all the way through, then all of a sudden said "ooooh you shouldnt have been doing that, you've made a rod for your own back now!" Very helpful!

He's been doing it for 25 minutes, I keep going in but should I just perservere? would picking him up now teach him its worth crying coz mummy caves????

arrrgghhhh

OP posts:

Meeely2 · 10/11/2007 20:15

have u tried pick up/put down? Literally lift him and put him down immediately, say shhh bed time and leave....repeat every 5 mins, but saying less each time til you say nothing. (OK OK it's called controlled crying!)

TheAccidentalParent · 10/11/2007 20:15

Mine is 7 months too and for last week I have just persevered and not picked her up once put in cot. However, she has feed just before I put her down so is usually very sleepy. It's a bit silly to put them down when they are wide awake, isn't it? Tonight there was no crying at all!

Original poster

spottyshoes · 10/11/2007 20:29

I had just fed him, he wasn't wide awake!!! Flippin well is now though - dont know how they can cry themselves to sleep, this is a full on shrieking tantrum!

I do keep picking him up every few minutes though as he keeps getting himself wedged acrossways, pat him and say night but he just screams in my face again!

We are now over 45 mins and he hasnt let up at all!

OP posts:

CarGirl · 10/11/2007 20:32

pick up put down is pick them up and hold/cuddle (not rock) until calm then put them down - they scream again so you pick them up and again hold/cuddle until calm and then put down.

It may take 100 times the first night but it will get better and it is not leaving them to scream themselves to sleep. He will learn that you will always come and comfort him but you will no longer rock him and that it's okay to be awake on his own in the cot.

Original poster

spottyshoes · 10/11/2007 20:47

O.M.F.G!!! After over an hour of going at it hell for leather he just conked mid screech! Had to go and check he hadn't done that things of passing out/not breathing as someone mentioned on a thread earlier (hearing that hasnt helped the 1st time mum paranoia!) but he is actually asleep - and breathing!!!

Next dilema - he is hanging out the bars again and looks dead twisted and uncomfy. Do I just leave him like that?

Sorry I sound like a complete newbie but it's the first time I've tried this crying lark

Thanks for all your advice and suggestions

OP posts:

TheAccidentalParent · 10/11/2007 20:52

I would just leave him in that position. If he was real uncomfy would not be able to sleep. I'm sure he will adjust himself later in the night.

Original poster

spottyshoes · 10/11/2007 20:56

Will do. I was just a bit worried he might try and roll or something and find himself stuck and wake up! Do I have to go through this crying lark if he wakes in the night??!!!!!! [is there a scared emoticon??]

Also does anyone have any opinion/experience of front sleeping? thats how he crashed - on tummy, sideways on, legs stuck out through the bars

OP posts:

TheAccidentalParent · 10/11/2007 21:01

Yeah - you have to go through the crying in the middle of the night too. It is the consistency that makes this work. I just got up, made sure she was not too hot or too cold, felt/sniff to make sure there was not nappy leakage/unexpected night-time poo and then just periodically patted and shush-shushed her until she fell back to sleep.

She often crashes out in the position you have described. She has not slept on her back all throught the night for some time. I think once they are over 6 months and able to roll over it is OK.

callmeovercautious · 10/11/2007 21:03

OK, you have been through the worst of it. If he wakes again, pick him up and cuddle him, then put him back down. Does he have a teddy or blankie? I found Ted Ted helps alot!

The trouble with doing this at 7m is that they can still be hungry if they wake at night. I only used it for the initial going to bed and gradually over time DD now goes to bed awake (some nights, others she dozes off over her BF) and she is sleeping through bar the odd teething/cold.

I did CC at nearly 6m which was very early and tbh unless you really are at the end of your tether I don't recommend it. DD had been BF to sleep since Birth and like you the HV suddenly thought I was mad! DD started waking when I moved her to the cot and would scream for 2 -3 hours before I could settle her again. I put her down and said night night, left her for 5 mins, then went back in and straightened her out, kissed her night night again with lots of "shh, sleepy time". Whent back after 7 mins then was going to go at 9 mins when she dropped off. I never got to 9 mins as I now know if there is something wrong v quickly. It actually helped me learn if she was disturbed through pain rather than just being overtired iyswim?

Search back through the sleep section, there are loads of great threads with good advice and success stories.

Good Luck!

Original poster

spottyshoes · 10/11/2007 21:04

My neighbours are going to love me . It'll all be worth it in the end I'm sure!

OP posts:

Original poster

spottyshoes · 10/11/2007 21:11

Hi callmeovercautious. I was ready to do CC at 6 mths too but everyone said it should wait until 9-10mths. I cant wait that long tbh! DS started sleeping from 6.30-7-30 waking once at 1am at 18weeks. That lasted a grand total of 6 weeks until teething kicked in and he has never really gotten back into good sleeping habits! I naively thought that babies slept right through from 6 months - why didnt Babyshoes read the manual?

He doesnt have a teddy/blankey/dummy unfortunately - just my boob

Will search for some other threads. Thanks

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TheAccidentalParent · 10/11/2007 21:17

Hi Spottyshoes,

I couldn't wait that long either. I was up so many times in the night, and working and was just exhausted. I was feeding DD multiple times in the night, even though I knew she was not really hungry, but just to get her back to sleep as quickly as possible. In the end she could only have a few sucks then she had to stop because she was full and then it was very difficult to get her back to sleep.

Ineedacleaner · 10/11/2007 21:19

I can recommend a blankie, fantastic things both of mine have them. DD at around 4 months hated being rocked to sleep anymore and started falling asleep alone, DS is 18 months now and only this past month have I stopped cuddling him to sleep.
WIth DD as my first I would probably have been more uptight but with ds I knew how short a time they are small for and that everything does pass so quickly that I never bothered and ok it took way longer we are over that stage now.
IT is tough when you are going through it but honestly it doesn't last forever.

hayCHingleBells · 10/11/2007 21:21

Get a gro bag.
That way wherever he crashes he will be covered up and warm and you wont need to disturb him.
Also, his feet might not get so wedged in through the bars.

It takes a very strong woman to crack this. Its not easy at all.
But will be soo worth it.

Stick with it.

hayCHingleBells · 10/11/2007 21:23

DD1 has a blanky ( actaully a cuddly dod, has loved it since 4months old and is now 7!) It has been everywhere and not for one single night without it.

DD2 loved a muslin square but she went right off it at around age 1. She has nothing now.

hayCHingleBells · 10/11/2007 21:23

cuddly doG

TheAccidentalParent · 10/11/2007 21:25

See Ineedacleaner point - if you enjoy bf your baby at night/cuddling to sleep/co-sleeping then you should not feel that you have to train them to sleep on their own so young. But if you are getting horribly tired and rowing with your partner over it and not concentrating at work (like I was) think it is better to lose the night time cuddles and gain some night time sleep (bliss)

Original poster

spottyshoes · 10/11/2007 21:44

He doesnt have 1 particular thing that he is really attached to other than the boob so might have difficulty introducing something now. Have a growbag though - genius invention!
I hate co-sleeping T.A.P and I think it actually disturbs him. tbh I only just tolerate sharing with dh lol. DS kicks me, all you can eat buffet, wakes every hour, dh ends up in a spare room etc. I end up 'dozing' all night and cant get any real sleep at all!

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hayCHingleBells · 10/11/2007 21:47

I couldnt cosleep either. Nearly suffocated dd2 once, which scared me to death also.

It was around this time when dd1 took to her dog. Probobly because i was pushing her to sleep better and longer any way i could.

TheAccidentalParent · 10/11/2007 21:48

Yeah, sounds familar. Co-sleeping was useful when DD was younger and really just woke for feeds, but as she got older think it just disturbed her more and led her to only want to sleep with boob in her mouth at all times

Original poster

spottyshoes · 10/11/2007 22:40

Can I just say this is the longest he has slept recently by miles. touch wood. This CC, awkward sleep positioning truly is the was forward!

OP posts:

haychee · 10/11/2007 22:41

Good luck!
Your gonna need it.

You CAN do it.
You WIll do it.

callmeovercautious · 11/11/2007 17:35

Good Luck for tonight!

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