Adhd diagnoses in child aged 3 anyone?

[beenaa]

Hi there, my little boy is 3 in June and he's been referred for adhd. He doesn't talk and has absolutely no concentration. The things he does is extreme he tries to tip his little sister over in her highchair, Scream really loudly for no reason, bounce constantly and runs all day, he never stops. He smashed 6 cups one day in my husbands office in a rage. Hits, kicks the list is pretty endless I could go on and on. He is awful to animals our poor dogs are terrified of him they've even resorted to biting him a couple of times and they are little teddy bears. Has anyone else gone through a diagnoses at this age? What do they do? How are your children now, please say it gets easier? Is their medication at this young an age that can help calm them down? I feel awful saying this but me and my husband both said yesterday we don't know how much longer we can live with him he's awful.

Omg u can't just not live with him he's your son!!!! Re home the dogs if needed but don't give up on your child and send him away

I am so sorry you are struggling so much with him.

He mustn't be able to get near your dogs if they have bitten him more than once. He is only three so however much he is provoking them it is not his fault. He needs to be safe until he learns how to treat animals and if there is no other way then I'm afraid you might need to rehome the dogs.

If he can't talk at 3 then he is probably very frustrated and miserable and angry a lot of the time. There are medications for ADHD but you may also need to put a huge amount of effort into learning how to parent him effectively and how to discipline him in ways that fit in with his abilities and understanding, and they may be very different from other children. If you are offered any parenting classes then grab them with both hands.

Tipping his sister's high chair over is one of many dangerous behaviours that you will need to prevent as best you can, without getting angry because it's not his fault. He doesn't know better at this stage. You are still the adults here, you are bigger and stroinger and cleverer and he is only a very small child. So you can watch him closely and stop him before DD gets hurt, or else invent ways to hold down the high chair!

I wish you every luck and success. In my experience the time before the asessments was the absolute worst. It does get better!

Oh, and MumsNet has boards for Special Needs which are great for practical advice and support for ADHD etc. They are active but they don't appear in the Active or Trending lists.

No pet would be allowed near my child if they'd gone for him. It doesn't matter who is at fault it's simply not safe. I think your only solution really is rehoming your dogs... They've learned to retaliate like this now and there's no time to teach either them or your son how to avoid this happening again. What if they're developing a general stress and intolerence of small children and go for your baby next? Sorry but I just wouldn't risk it. I've seen how quickly it can go wrong when my dd accidentally slipped into a relative's grumpy dog. It was a total accident but he had her head in his mouth faster than we could blink. She was unharmed thank goodness but it was a reminder to me that it can go so wrong so fast believe me. I think you need help whether he has adhd or not. Is he at nursery? What about speech therapy? These are both things that might ultimately help with his speech and behaviour and will be avenues to assessing him for ASD/ADHD too. Ultimately though there will be no miracle cure whatever the diagnosis. You're going to have to do what you can to keep him and others safe x

As if you are taking the dogs side!

Good god I didn't mean I prefer my dogs over him whatsoever I wish I never said anything now he's very challenging right now and I felt like I needed to vent. I would never ever give up on my child. Don't anyone ever accuse me of that. Maybe if yous were being hit and kicked everyday by your child you would wonder how much longer you can go on.

Can I just rephrase this I meant live with him like this with outbursts and lashing out at his sister not with him in general this has really bloody hurt me people accusing me of that. Watch what you say words can stick with folk.

Hi beena I really hope I haven't accused you of anything? Being hit and kicked is horrible for you. I really hope you soon get the assessments and support you need to parent him.

You need to do whatever it takes to keep each of you physicailly safe. And do positive parenting with him however little he seems to deserve it. Which is much easier said than done espeically if he is attacking you and his sister. But you know what they say about children - the less they deserve your love the more they need it.

Can you join a parenting group? When my DS was at his glorious worst and we were waiting for assessments I got some useful practical advice, and also it really helped me just to listen to other parents who were having big problems with their own kids and being able to think "well at least DS never thought of doing that"

This sounds a lot like autism, not Adhd. Adhd isn't usually assessed in children so young. The symptoms align with autism. I hope you get an assessment quickly and parenting support in the mean time OP, sounds really tough.