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Behaviour/development

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4 Year old school boy has no friends

4 replies

5831bob123 · 30/03/2021 20:16

I have a 4 year old boy who started school September 2020. He's settled in very well initially and returned to school easily after the recent homeschooling. He's doing well with his school work, is quite bright and keen to learn.

Socially though he seems to be struggling. He is terribly shy/quiet and although other children wave and say hello on the way to school it takes encouragement for him to return the gesture.

He behaves well in school and the teacher has informed us he is the quietest in class but has no concerns about him.

We always ask about his day and who he plays with (trying not to interrogate) but he doesn't tell us much and what he does say worries us. Tonight he told me no one wants to play with him apart from X but he doesn't mind playing by himself. He says he tries to join in but they won't tell him what they're playing and i think he might follow other kids about trying to play.

I don't know what to do to try to help him out in this situation, especially as it's tricky to arrange play dates at the moment! Do I need to intervene or let him crack on?
I should mention I have raised my concern with his teacher.

OP posts:
Mixmag · 31/03/2021 09:37

Ah bless you I’ve been here and I think the best thing is to let him crack on but maintain contact with his teacher to see how he’s getting on and if things change. Schools have different policies on this...at ours they had a bench where kids could sit if they had no one to play with so others could ask them to join in...mixed success but at least they were trying. I found joining extra curricular clubs really helped...rugby, taekwando, local forest school stuff...see if there’s local drama clubs too as this would be ace for self confidence...and beavers...this is when all lockdown ends of course! It’s been a funny old year for our little ones, and what a strange first year for our reception kids...I’m sure your son will find his own little squad in timeSmilexxx

5831bob123 · 31/03/2021 18:52

Ahh thanks for responding. Yeah I thought I would give it a couple of weeks after the Easter hols and then check in with his teacher to see how he's getting on.

I don't want to make a big deal out of it with him as I don't want him to become conscious that he lonely or not liked, which I'm sure isn't the case as he's such a lovely little boy.

On a positive note, one of the mum's collared me this morning and we're arranging a playdate in her garden next week. My little boy is really looking forward to it Grin

OP posts:
Tal45 · 31/03/2021 18:59

Having friends round, their mum getting to know other mums and having a birthday party are the best ways for little ones to make friends in my experience x

Mixmag · 31/03/2021 20:25

Ah that’s fantastic news, so pleased to hear that! These things just take time....we’re always worrying about them aren’t we!x

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