12 months old - worry about development

[Tangi88]

Hello,

My DD is 12 months at the moment and I have a few concerns about her development.

What she does:

• She shows/points/reaches with whole hand
• She is very smiley
• She laughs when we play peekaboo
• She enjoys playing hide and seek
• She loves her food
• She just now started taking a few independent steps
• She adjusted very well at the nursery she started a month ago
• She sleeps through the night
• She shows me and brings me toys and books
• When I ask her where is the X thing or X person she finds it and shows it to me
• She helps me dress her and when I say lift your foot she does it
• She giggles, make noises but mainly with vowels
• She cries when she is upset and when she is alone
• She comes to me and lifts her hands to be held
• She claps and waves -most of the times- when I clap or wave

What she doesn’t do:

• She is not babbling consistently, only occasionally 1-2 times per day. Nowhere near baby jargon. Nowhere near first words.
• She doesn’t point with her index finger (only with whole palm)
• She doesn’t copy me well. For example if I touch my nose and tell her to touch her nose she won’t do it.
• When I call her name she responds most of the times but when she is very much into something e.g to find her sock that she discovered under the sofa then she just ignores me

-She doesn’t copy what I say. For example when I say to her “say mama” , she won’t say it

What worries me:

• Sometimes maybe once or twice a day she shakes her head left to right like she is saying no without meaning no of course

Please help me and advice me on how you think my 12 month old behaves...

Her peers are babbling away and pointing with index finger and for this reason I don’t know whether she needs to be assessed by HV.

Any similar experience? Do I need to worry?

Thank you all!

Hiya!

What you have described sounds perfectly normal. I honestly wouldn’t worry!

The rate of development in this age group varies wildly. I’m a childcare provider, so have seen hundreds of children at this age and they are all so different.

Look at it this way - the development targets we use professionally for this age are set in a range of 8 - 20 months. Any time during this period is normal.

I wouldn’t worry about language skills at this age AT ALL. She is making sounds, that’s the main thing. She may just be a quiet person! She is showing that she can understand you and follow basic instructions.

As for pointing - yes, lots of children point at this age. But lots of children also don’t clap, walk, get items and bring them to you, etc. So I wouldn’t worry.

The head shaking thing - she may mean yes? It’s a LOT harder to nod your head than it is to shake it, so often small children will shake their head for both. They also sometimes do it because it feels funny! So I wouldn’t worry.

Your daughter sounds bang on track. From what you’ve said, I don’t see any red flags at all. You’re clearly a very caring Mummy and she is very lucky to have you teaching her!

Thank you so much for your kind words and reassurance as a professional.

I will try enjoy more her little self rather than constant worrying whether she is ok.

I wouldn’t say she shakes her head for yes though. She does it maybe in the car seat, during a nappy change when she is frustrated or even at her high chair. She does it either as a funny thing and smiles when I stop her head but some times I think she does it unintentionally. Hopefully, it’s just a phase and she will stop doing it...

Thank you so much again! Your reply really means so much to me.

Hello my son is similar to your daughter, he will be 13 months in a week still no words no clapping no pointing and not imitating me, he understands a few things like bring me the ball book etc and waves bye when prompted to. He also has some sensory issues with playdough and most gooey things and does the head shake alot when in his high chair

Hello, thanks for your reply and congratulations for your baby (maybe toddler!) boy.

Are you worried and stressed about it?

Does he shakes the head only at his high chair? My daughter does it at the high chair, during nappy changes but also at random moments when no one looks at her which is the scariest of all...

Is your boy babbling at all?

Do you mean that he doesn’t like play dough?

İ am very freaked out about it! We live in a small island south cyprus and dont have much experienced practioners in this field ive made an appointment to see a child psychologist on the 16 th of March to get him evaluated but so far his pediatrician doesnt seem to be concerned so ive basically booked it myself without a referral. He only had one word Dada and does babble sometimes but not much, i feel as though his always busy with other things i cant read or sing to him for 1 minute he will just be up and gone, and constantly whines to get what he wants if i dont give it to him right away he will eventually do a hand point , i havent seen him shake his head elsewhere only in his high chair which he hates! And he has some sort of issue with touching things like bubble bath he will have his hands up when i first put him in then eventually gets used to it same with most textures actually (sand , jelly, flour) his quite reluctant at first i sometimes try to believe that he could just have a introverted personality, he does interAct sometimes though he loves peekaboo and laughs histerically when we makr silly faces at him bu will never copy any gesture or sounds (animal) he used to put the phone to his ear or try to brush his hair when he was around 10 months but now thats gone and all he does is put the phone to my ear or try to brush my hair but wont do it to himself i dont know whether that counts as imitating 🤷🏻‍♀️ İm reaLly messed up loosing sleep and appatite over these issues so i just want to know if there is anything wrong so that i can get all the help he needs 🙏🏻

Oh and the part where you mentioned shes busy trying to find a sock under the bed or elsewhere my son does that alot too hes constantly throwing and rolling things under the couch and bending down to look at them

We come from Greece, not too far from you then.

My daughter doesn’t imitate any sounds as well and doesn’t have any words. She does imitate though a few things like talking at the phone, giving a hug, brushing hair, petting our dog... she also does clap and wave and give kisses occasionally but not always. As for pointing she is only doing with the whole hand... and she only babbles occasionally maybe a few times each day.

She is also overly energetic like your son. She never sits down, she only enjoys reading books just before bedtime along with her milk, she is constantly on the go crawling from kitchen to living room and back and always carrying something!

I understand your worries and I know that most people try to calm us down, and they may be right of course. The most annoying thing to me is that no one can diagnose a baby that young as ours and we have to wait and see. Either weird behaviors will stop and our babies will catch up with their peers eventually or weird behaviors will be exaggerated... we need to wait and see! It’s very frustrating but there is nothing else we can do.

I haven’t visited a paed yet but if yours is happy with your son, then that’s good! Keep focusing on the good things. The most important thing is to keep our babies happy, if yours is happy, they you should be too. Easy to say and hard to do but I am also saying it for myself...

When is your appointment with the psychologist? I am asking as you mentioned March...

Also, I am not sure if a psychologist would assist more or a neurologist...

The pointing you still have until about 18 months, before that is considered a red flag. Model the pointing, so sit with a book and say "dog" and you point to it. Point up when you see a bird or a plane and say the single word . Do lots of repetition of single words, labelling everything you play with together as you pick it up or as she does- ball, duck, doll, spoon, orange. Label yourself pointing to you Mum and her DD-name. Animals noises and things like oh no are things young children pick up more easily and they absolutely count. Remember baby words aren't perfect so dig might be da, of d to start with.

The head shake could be frustration, but think the first poster is right, they are all different and have their quirks. You are being a great mum noticing what she can and can't do, but don't let the anxiety take over. Distract her from the behaviour you don't like with something, a toy- "oh car" push it along past her or shake a musical instruct or start singing a favourite song with actions like wheels on the bus . Do lots of talking face to face, down at her level on the floor, single words and encourage her to make sounds.

All parents will tell you as soon as your child can say a word like
dog and you want to showcase it they 100% won't say it if you say "Say dog." FACT

My 25 month old still won’t say a word when I ask him to lol!!! He only talks on his terms !

Your 12 month old sounds perfectly normal !

@Tangi88 hi, if you don’t mind sharing how was your babies speech development. I’m having some concerns regarding my 12 month old babble, so I would like to know how things turned out for you. Thanks

Hello,

I just changed my username, so I am "Tangi88". Also, Happy New Year!

My little one at the moment is 21 months old. She says about 10 words, points with her index, talks her own language and is a very happy and sociable little toddler, just a bit speech delayed.

Her speech is still behind from her peers as they now say many more words that my DD, some even sing, most combine words together and say little phrases. For example, most of the children in her age say "more juice", my DD says "juice".

I am not that worried as I was when she was 1 year old to be honest, I just have accepted that she is developing at her own time. A friend of mine told me that babies are like pop-corn and they pop at their own time! :-)

You are doing really well that you keep an eye at your baby but please don't make it a big deal and enjoy this time as it will never come again. I am the type of person that gets stressed easily but don't do the same mistake.

Observe your baby. Is he/she following you with their gaze while you walk in a room? Does your baby make any sounds to communicate with you? Does he/she respond well when you call him/her?

Also, are there any other aspects that affect your baby's development? For example my DD is bilingual and although many people say that this won't affect her, many others have experiences that it does. Also, she has tongue tie. Also, in our case, the nursery I think was a drawback to her speech development as English was introduced there, but on the other hand it was a great push to her social skills.

I really hope it all goes well but at this age the only thing you could really do if you want, which we also did, is a hearing test. Other than that, just take it day by day and things will get better.

My DD is a completely different person to the one she was when she was 1 year old, which is not even a year ago! Her understanding is million times better. She now says "yes", "no" and this is amazing! I know it's a milestone that is normally achieved by much younger toddlers but it doesn't worry me anymore.

Sorry for the lengthy response!

As a conclusion please focus more on her understanding, social behaviour and her own way to communicate with you, rather than in milestones.

Good luck and I am here if you need anything! Mommies need one another :)

@Hopitihop how is ur daughter now? is she speaking now?

Hello, my daughter is now 26 months old and she combines 2 words together and has more than 100 words. For example she says “mummy up” or “more milk”. Very rarely she says 3 words like “my shoes where?”. She is not good at pronouncing certain letters like l and r. She is also not good with multi syllable words like banana, helicopter etc.

She is still behind than her peers who can easily talk is small sentences but she is slowly moving towards to the right direction.

@Hopitihop oh great if she is progressing. my 12 months baby rarely babble lyk only times per day .. he is never a chatty baby. always behind in speech area. otherwise he is pointing , other all gestures from last 1.5 months. m so tense for my baby that somedays he do not babble at all. just make ehhh ehhh sound.

@Hopitihop how is ur daughter s speach now? Plz rply m in same boat.

@Bravosmith

Hello, my daughter will be 3years old in two months.

She is talking in 3-4 word sentences and you can make a small conversation with her.

e.g.

I: Where are your shoes?
DD: Under table
I: Can you put them in their place?
DD: Why?
I: Because they are dirty

or

DD: I want juice
I: You can only have milk
DD: No, I want juice
I: What about banana and yoghurt?
DD: Yes yoghurt. And honey please.

I hope you got it. So she speaks, still a bit behind as she can’t make complicated sentences yet but she speaks in sentences and she expresses herself verbally sufficiently so as to understand what she wants.

How old is your DC?

@Spinachandrice my 20 months boy has only 10 words and he miss the end sound of word.. for example ca for car, boo for ball, pa for papa, do for dog.. as his cousin of same age speaking 2 word sentences. He is not chatty from early age, he rarely make any cooing sound when he was baby

@Bravosmith my daughter was exactly the same at this age. I realised that they will speak when they are ready, Dont stress too much about it.

The main thing is he understands what you say to him, if he has good eye contact, responds to his name, able to follow instructions. Imaginary play and role play help them at this age , so you can model these games too.

Speak to him in small sentences (one more word than the words he say) and speak very slowly and clear. Go down at his level when you talk to him and be close to him!

All of that sounds normal and easy but it’s so hard to implement them.

We had a few speech therapy sessions and this is the advice we were given.

Also buy and read the book “it takes two to talk”! Highly we recommended and invaluable advice!

Good luck! He will be fine :-)

@Hopitihop hey dear , can u tell me that in which month ur daughter started saying yes or no ?