Not responding to name - 20 month old

[SpeechieE]

Hi everyone, I'm looking for some support and hopefully some reassurance from other parents that my DD's development is ok.

So my DD is 20 months old, nearly 21 months, she's using lots of words (between 50-75 I'd say) but doesn't put them together into sentences yet. She understands commands and doesn't seem to have any hearing issues. She points to show me interesting things as well as for help, she claps and waves. She's a bum-shuffler and is not yet walking, we suspect she may have hypermobility as her knees and ankles are very wobbly, we're currently waiting for an appointment with the paediatric physio for this! She's generally very smiley and engaged, most of the time, but is very, VERY prone to tantrums, fiery, raging tantrums. But my main concern is that no matter what I do, she will not respond to her name. I can call her name constantly and she won't respond. If she is watching Hey Duggee or something, or is distracted by a toy there is no way I could ever dream of getting through to her without physically moving her, but even in quiet times or play, she won't look at me or respond in any way to her name.

I've read scientific studies about this being a red flag for autism or developmental delay, but my DD doesn't really seem to fit neatly into these categories. She does have some obsessive tendencies, she absolutely loves keys and will want to play with them constantly, and if she doesn't get them, all hell is set loose. She has also learned and lost quite a few words, for example she used to always say and sign "please" when she wanted something, but in the last few weeks this has disappeared. Also, her ability to say certain words have changed, for example 'Daddy' used to be very clear, but now it's more like "yanny".

I've spoken to my childminder and she doesn't have any concerns, which is reassuring, but I was just wondering, am I right to be concerned about this response to her name? Or am I just being a bit paranoid, and looking for issues where there are none? Thanks so much for your help.

I should also say that while a lot of her words are usual words that she's learnt from books or conversation with us, for example doggy, cat, more, up, down etc. she has learned the characters from Hey Duggee and will sometimes repeat "Hey Duggee!" like the theme song... She also likes to pretend to sneeze a lot, which I think she has learned from this too.

This echolalia also concerns me slightly as it is something that happens a lot in autism, but I'm hoping it's just a red flag for watching a bit too much Hey Duggee! Especially as her comprehension seems to be really good.

I know it's normal for their name response to be a bit hit or miss, but if she's virtually never responding, I think that's something I'd keep an eye on, perhaps raise with the health visitor. I suppose the caveat to that is if you've been saying her name a lot just to check how she responds – some don't respond well to this sort of testing, whether it's their name, colours, or what sound a cow makes.

Someone with more knowledge might be along soon, but my understanding is that repeating bits of language as a young toddler is very normal – it's them practicing language – and isn't a concern at this age as long as they are also using lots of independent language, and using it to communicate, ask for things they want, share excitement, etc., which is sounds like your daughter is. I think repeating bits of a theme song is probably especially unconcerning, since song lyrics are by nature exactly the same every time.

I'm not really sure where the line is between normal toddler changeability on things like saying/signing please and worrying 'losing skills'. Has she also gained words or other social or language skills in the last few weeks? They do sometimes just sort of put aside certain skills for a bit whilst they concentrate on something else.

I'm afraid I'm also not much help on where the line is between normal and concerning for things like tantrums and intense favourites like the keys. How long would she play with the keys if you let her?

At her age, if you call her name constantly for no reason and only to rest her she will very quickly learn to ignore you completely... And repeating words from a TV show is not echolalia, a child who loves singing theme songs or repeat words/phrases from TV because they sound cool is not echolalia. Echolalia is part of normal speech development, all toddlers will do it to some extent.

Hi both, thank you so much for getting back to me. It is reassuring that you don't think there is too much to worry about. In terms of calling her name, I should clarify I've not just been calling her name lots for no reason, but to get her attention at key points or if she is doing something she shouldn't, i.e. when it really counts, but it's like she doesn't hear me, there's no flicker of recognition. Sometimes though, she will turn at first call, but rarely. I hope it's just a symptom of being a lockdown baby and that she's bored of me taking to her all the time!

In terms of the repeating from the TV show, I understand that some of this is normal, but she never really repeats words that I say. What I meant by echolalia is that she will be playing with her toys, and will just repeat "hey duggee" to herself, out of context, and for no apparent communicative reason. I realise I didn't make that very clear in my previous post. Hopefully you're right and it is normal. I am a first year trainee Speech Therapist and have done placements in complex needs especially with ASD, so I am at an awkward stage where I know a fair bit about atypical language development, but certainly not enough, and am hyper aware of the symptoms and that might be clouding my judgement somewhat. I hope it's just a heightened sense of parental paranoia! But both my husband and I have had a gut feeling for a while that something isnt exactly typical with her communication.

Is she literally never answering to her name. Does she point to show interest and request things? I think it'd be quite difficult to have pretty good language skills without the above tbh but I guess it depends how much of the words are used to request something or share interest about something and not echolalia. I think I read that even NT kids are only actually expected to answer their name about 30% of the time so perhaps she's doing it more than you realise. They're really good at knowing when you're testing them too and resisting it so I wouldn't try making her answer her name obsessively. Just do it when you need to and take note x

Yes she points to show interest and to request, she'll point to things in books, and yesterday she pointed at the moon and said "bubble! Pop!" Which was hilarious and adorable! Her comprehension skills are brill, she can respond to simple tasks - for example she'll get her shoes when asked, or if we're playing with a tea set and I say "does teddy want a drink?" She will pretend to give her teddy a drink. She was engrossed in playing with water the other day, and I said "shall we go and water the plants?" And she instantly went and watered the plants.

This morning she has been responding to her name so long as it was followed by something like "would you like some blueberries?" .. maybe I'm just expecting far too much.

She sounds fine tbh. It sounds like it might be a bit of selective hearing going on you have to take these milestones into context. If she otherwise seems to be doing well it pr9bably isn't a concern. I would just try and play lots of things that involve listening skills and joint attention, doing puzzles, tea parties, singing songs and musical instruments, whatever floats her boat really xx

I have to say she sounds fine to me as well, although I'm certainly not an expert. (And popping the moon-bubble is very cute!)

My daughter is pretty much exactly the same age as yours, and I think responds quite readily to her name, but there's definitely a bit of selective hearing when she's doing something she knows she shouldn't! I think it's also quite normal for them to repeat words out of (apparent) context, either practicing or just talking about what they're thinking about. My wee one sometimes chatters away as she's falling asleep, and we hear all sorts!

From other threads on here, it seems quite common for toddlers to not repeat words we say in the early phases of talking. I don't think my daughter started that until around when she started putting two words together on her own.

Hi
how’s your little one doing ? ❤️❤️

Hi! She is doing so well now to be honest, she is nearly 5 (tomorrow in fact!). She ended up having a lot of assessments, and she has pretty much constantly had glue ear throughout her childhood. She had her tonsils and adenoids out around this time last year, and had grommets fitted to drain her glue ear and the change in her was remarkable. She quite clearly had actually been pretty deaf for most of her early childhood!

She does still have some quirks, she is on the list for a neurodevelopmental assessment, and she is quite likely to have ADHD (she's incredibly hyper, can't calm down, finds it hard to attend to any activity that isn't motivating for her, still finds instructions tricky) but we don't think she will get the autism diagnosis the paediatrician expected when she was 2-3 years old.

Her language is still a bit 'behind' her peers, but we have lovely conversations now, and I can always tell when her hearing is getting worse again as her attention seems to fall off a cliff. She's due to have her grommets replaced again this summer.

The main thing I remember from that time is really how anxious I was... I realise now in hindsight that I was really struggling with my anxiety levels, and didn't enjoy most of those months and years because I just worried so much! I am definitely past that now, and able to just enjoy being with her, and allowing her to be her own wonderful quirky self. It's one thing she has taught me, they will always continue to be just who they are, it just sometimes takes us a bit longer as parents to dance to the beat of their drum, if you see what I mean. I've had to throw most of the parenting books out of the window, and we're all so much happier for it. Low demand and go with the flow!

I hope that helps to put your mind at rest a little bit, but if you do have any questions please do let me know :)