7 year old awful behaviour

[purpleme12]

If I say something my 7 year old doesn't like she can get really mad and sometimes this leads to pushing, biting, being aggressive, getting in my face and all of these. Screaming
I have been told to make a calm place and tell her to go to that when these things happen
My child would never do this though
She won't go anywhere she doesn't want to
I

That does sound extreme, how does she behave at school? Do they have any concerns?

I've seen The Explosive Child recommended on MN a fair few times, it might be worth having a look at that.

No she'd never do it at school

Perhaps I'll get that

I never thought this would happen. I'm failing so much for this to happen and I don't think I can't do it all

What happens now when she bites or hits?

She's not having any treats at the minute cos of her behaviour

I suggested when I was talking to her about it, making a calm corner for her to go to when she's mad. She said she would just go to stroke our cat instead so I thought we'll just try that then if she's suggesting that. Which when she got mad yesterday I said to her she did go up at one time but then she just came back down.
I'm trying to see ways to stop it happening in the moment you see.
I'll try suggest making a calm space to her again. But I don't envisage her going to one

She never plays by herself

Does she have any other little traits like being fussy with food?

Not really
She's always been stubborn and liked to push boundaries and I could deal with that (although hard at times) but this is different
It's the getting mad and the behaviour when that happens
I've no doubt the last year has had an effect and everything but this particular behaviour can't go on long term
I have spoken to school this week and let them know
It is so upsetting for me

I've also seen The Explosive Child recommended by a good friend. Definitely give it a try.

Is she good at discussing emotions? Maybe drawing pictures of why she feels so angry (or writing about it if she's capable of doing so). It helps my kids a lot if I empathise with them about their anger/sadness/worry while also reinforcing the boundaries.
Anger is often related to anxiety and it might help if you can figure out if there's something particular that's troubling her.

A Mighty Girl has some suggestions of books that might help here and you here.

Thank you for the suggestions
And the books
I'll have a look

I have tried getting her to draw pictures
Nothing really came of that that could help us or that enlightened us

She often says she's angry cos of me.
Cos I've said something she doesn't like (or not doing what she wants) or given a consequence
But of course none of this reaction used to happen

I wouldn't even call myself a strict mum

I am in exactly the same situation as you. My dd is 6. She hits/kicks/punches us. Been going on a few years now. Thought she'd grow out of it but nope. I rang my local GP for help and they've referred me to a local service. We had an assessment a few days later and now waiting for them to contact.
Why don't you contact your gp and ask for help? X

@Googleboxfan

I am in exactly the same situation as you. My dd is 6. She hits/kicks/punches us. Been going on a few years now. Thought she'd grow out of it but nope. I rang my local GP for help and they've referred me to a local service. We had an assessment a few days later and now waiting for them to contact. Why don't you contact your gp and ask for help? X

Same as that. I'm hoping for some kind of assessment. How did it go in terms of your child cooperating for such a test? What was involved.

@purpleme12

Thank you for the suggestions And the books I'll have a look

I have tried getting her to draw pictures
Nothing really came of that that could help us or that enlightened us

She often says she's angry cos of me.
Cos I've said something she doesn't like (or not doing what she wants) or given a consequence
But of course none of this reaction used to happen

I wouldn't even call myself a strict mum

Sounds so similar to what's going on with my 7 year old girl. I am full of tears myself at the moment as I actually can't cope with it all. It's got so on top recently. Always been fussy with everything but this is a new level. My little girl needs all clothes to be tight and hair severely tight. I get the blame for everything that goes wrong for her. But under all that she is a sweetheart. But the tantrums and anger are worse than ever

Hi mummy2two21, please ring you later gp and ask for help and support. They should refer you.
The assessment was a discussion with the organisation about what behaviours we're dealing with. We have now been referred to Children and Young People's Services CYPS. Please ask for the help too xx