Worlds Worst parent...my life is like a episode of supper nanny

[flopseyR72]

Anyone got any advice.

I have recently separated from my ex DH. There was emotional and verbal abuse and conflict at home. I haven’t told DC 5 and 3 what is happening as there is a court case pending and I don’t know the expected outcome. The court case is a major stress. We’re stuck in rented flat with no garden until the court case so life is on hold and dressed.

I work full time but from home so DC 3 only does 15 hours nursery. DC 5 is at school. So often tired and stressed with work commitments working
Into the night with lack of sleep.

My DC are so badly behaved at the moment. I think they don’t go to bed early enough which doesn’t help. Also too
Much tv. The 5 year old
Is the worse they tantrum run about and scream shout. Every day getting to school is a battle. My 5 year old gets there often without a cardigan or coat and hair straggly and I brushed, they just won’t do anything I ask. My 5 year old tells me to shut up, kicks and hits. My 3 year old just runs riot. I feel like the worst parent as I’m always telling my DC especially the 5 year old off. I would describe myself as a pacifist and quite so i feel awful and embarrassed and so awful shouting but I’m at my wits end I can’t get them to behave.
I’m not sure if it’s the years of conflict. I just feel really depressed and disappointed my life is such a mess and I am frazzled all the time.

Any suggestions?

Sorry about the typos stressed not dressed and quiet not quite!

Firstly, you're a great parent who is tired and there is no one size fits all as a parent. I have a 2yo and 4yo, read lots of evidence based research on parenting and still their dad is far better in certain circumstances (which I then judge my abilities).

You've had a tough time and so have you kids so there is going to be a little adjustment time.
I've only recently returned to work after been so stressed out.I felt ashamed that i wasn't coping. I have a blog so reflected on it concluding we all need time out to be at our best. And we can't be at our best all of the time. - raising2children.com/how-to-feel-yourself-again-with-self-care-sunday/

Then there is you children's behaviours. As Cornell University would say 'all behaviours have meaning'. It's time to get the detective hat on; observe and reflect on their behaviour. When you experience their challenging behaviour (also know as stressed behaviour) what time of day, where and who with can help reduce those stressful situations. this is a great book that can help raising2children.com/mum-of-2-book-review-on-help-your-child-deal-with-stress-and-thrive/

It's tough at the moment so accepting where you are at to plan a way forward will help. knowing it wont be a quick fix.
Good luck

With Easter holidays coming up could you take two weeks off and spend the time with them? You could make trips out into a game with no rush to get dressed so then it becomes less of a battle and you have this time to settled them into some new boundaries with just you as the parent without the pressure of having to be somewhere on time.