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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

So...How can I sleep train a toddler who settles quickly but wakes up 3-4 times a night?

3 replies

Return2thebasic · 16/03/2021 14:15

He's exclusively breastfed. Until three weeks ago, he was still have one night feed (usually 10 minutes and never bothered me much).

Then we weaned the night feed. He cried one hour for the first two nights (with me going in intermittently). Since then, he seems OK to settle back to sleep quickly. But I HAVE TO go in to attend him briefly. He refuses water and threw away my hand which tried to pat him. Almost furiously. But strangely, he would calm down once I walk out his room and goes back to sleep. So it's Not like the typical sleep training when they do advise you go in at reduced frequency. Usually I only need to go in once.

The problem is, he does this at least 3 times a night. And if he wakes up near 6am, then that's the end of his sleep. He'd rather lying in his cot talking to himself (never cries or becomes grumpy) until 7:20 when I get up.

Like today, I really didn't sleep much after his 6 o'clock waking. I was torn between the guilt of leaving him in the cot for the next 1.5 hour and the awareness of consistency matters and the benefit of making it clear: Sleep time is sleep time. He shouldn't expect anything else.

But what bothers me the most is that the purpose of night feed weaning is to train him sleep through. The current situation actually is a lot worse for both of us. How he could ever sleep through or settle on his own? I don't know if I shall just leave him to cry 10 minutes before I go in at all?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
mimofboy2 · 17/03/2021 15:41

Didn't want to read and run. Not sure I can help much as I didn't bf so never had to wean off and friends little ones seem to do it of their own accord. But do you automatically go in as soon as he wakes up? If you don't what happens? My ds1 is always up around 6 and now Calls for us so that's our get up time!! Fortunately my DH doesn't mind the early get ups.

raising2children · 18/03/2021 15:18

A foster carer had some great advice for me my 4yo struggles to stay asleep. (my 2yo has no problem!)
They said through the day to play games when its dark so the child doesn't connect the dark as scary. This has worked a treat with my 4yo.
We also talked to my 4yo about before waking us up, to breathe in and out 3 times and then decide you need us- this is a work in progress!

good luck - i feel you sleepless pain x

SoloJazz · 19/03/2021 07:50

This group has been so helpful with anything sleep related www.facebook.com/groups/1844822782469496/?ref=share

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