Please or to access all these features

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Advice needed-- 5 year old developmental concerns

4 replies

mongo123 · 11/03/2021 03:17

Hello. My son is 5 years old . He has trouble with motor imitation.he isnt able to imitate things like hand movements, dance moves...karate poses etc. He will watch but not be able to execute it correctly. Also very uncoordinated. Some history-- He started having some red flags at 14 months when he was not saying beyond 2 words and suddenly lost them. We didnt think much of it as he started saying them after some months again. At 23 months when we did tbe mchat we realized he had a few red flags. He did speech and Ot for 2 years. He was evaluated for ASD at 3. They said he was not on the spectrum and advised to continue Ot as he had weak core and fine and gross motor delays.he has always been in mainstream preschool and started talking at 3. He is now ahead of peers with academics and writing and has great langauge skills.

He also lacks pretend play skills beyond what we show him or what he sees on tv. He will create lots of pretend stuff from the toys he has but not actually play with it. He is better with solving games and puzzles and games where ppl are involved vs independent imaginary play.

He passes as NT but i dont think he is. I see the struggles with play/social skills. Eye contact actually good BUT he cant sustain it and speak at the same time. He has to focus on one at a time. He is in mainstream school and no teacher has ever flagged any issue thus far except that he was behind in handwriting. My questions are...should i pursue this more? When did the gap get wider with peers and how ?Any of your kids had these isues and not diagnosed ASD? If they were has diagnosis helped? What would you advise i do to help him in these areas.

OP posts:
FortunesFave · 11/03/2021 06:12

Pursue it further. The gap widens again at about 11 or high school age in my experience. For some kids though, high school is a blessing as they meet a wider selection of kids and often 'find their tribe' among other 'quirky kids'

My DD was like that. She was evaluated at 7 for ASD but 'passed' as neurotypical.

She hated primary school but high school was amazing as she met all these other kids who were like her...clever, articulate, quirky, alternative.

She's 16 now and looking for a diagnoses...not because she can't cope with the world but because she wants answers.

She's hyper sensitive physically and very narrow in her thinking...lacks a bit of empathy too. But her humour is amazing and she has a huge group of friends plus three besties. So it's not all doom and gloom.

mongo123 · 11/03/2021 10:54

Thanks a lot for sharing. I understand her wantinf answers. I would do the same if my son wanted answers too. When u say she is hyper sensitive physically what do u mean. Was she always like this or did it occur as she for older. Also was enpathy lacking earlier also? My son does not have much physical sensitivities altho at 2-3 didnr like the feel of some textures but now is always motivated to try new things. He also is very aware of peoples feelings and in tune to when their mood changes and will often ask if theyre okay.

Any advice for helping him through that rough stage of primary? So happy high school was better for her! I hope my son has an awesome experience too

OP posts:
FortunesFave · 11/03/2021 13:00

She was always like that. Empathy isn't perhaps lacking...she does feel emotion but she's very pragmatic and very logical so sometimes I have to tell her things like "You should call Ann because she's going to feel sad if her Nan is ill"

Things like that won't occur to her naturally.

She's aware of feelings but she often doesn't realise she can do something to help.

My advice for primary is to find his "special thing" and whatever that is, encourage the hell out of it. DD's was art so I helped her by making sure she had extra art lessons, enough equipment and assisting her to enter contests.

FortunesFave · 11/03/2021 13:06

But here's the thing...don't foresee problems which might not appear. He's only 5. He might be just happy as Larry in primary school...he might love it all! They're all different. That's why it's a spectrum.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page