Flock of sheep

[Ellie2015]

My LG is a single child-4 year old. With covid just like many other kids she has missed her friends. today the after school club carer told my husband on pick up ‘she does everything fine but she behaves like a flock of sheep’, she does everything same what others are doing...she even requests the same snacks...
I am not sure whether it’s a positive or negative trait...but I know LG does this so she doesn’t loose her friends (who are almost a year older than her and are more strong minded than her). Experienced mums please advise if this is normal not normal concerning not concerning and what to do not to do. Thanks a ton x

I think it might be worth having a chat with her about this, make sure she knows that it's ok to say know it to choose what she wants rather than what other people want. You don't want her being an early teen and this trait being exploited.

A lot of adults pretend to be what they are to fit in with others.

Whether or not this is bad depends.

If she's scared of voicing her opinion and does stuff she hates because she thinks her friends will hate her then you have a potential doormat in the making and she will become unhappy over time. Her opinion is valid even if it's different to her friends and you want her to say no if the rest of the group are about to do something that she knows is wrong like be mean to another child.

If she's going along with the rest of the group with stuff that she's not that bothered by then she's fine. For example she might have wanted to play schools but might be equally happy to play zoos which was suggested by someone else in the group.

A lot of adults pretend to be what they are to fit in with others.

Whether or not this is bad depends.

If she's scared of voicing her opinion and does stuff she hates because she thinks her friends will hate her then you have a potential doormat in the making and she will become unhappy over time. Her opinion is valid even if it's different to her friends and you want her to say no if the rest of the group are about to do something that she knows is wrong like be mean to another child.

If she's going along with the rest of the group with stuff that she's not that bothered by then she's fine. For example she might have wanted to play schools but might be equally happy to play zoos which was suggested by someone else in the group.

A lot of adults pretend to be what they are to fit in with others.

Whether or not this is bad depends.

If she's scared of voicing her opinion and does stuff she hates because she thinks her friends will hate her then you have a potential doormat in the making and she will become unhappy over time. Her opinion is valid even if it's different to her friends and you want her to say no if the rest of the group are about to do something that she knows is wrong like be mean to another child.

If she's going along with the rest of the group with stuff that she's not that bothered by then she's fine. For example she might have wanted to play schools but might be equally happy to play zoos which was suggested by someone else in the group.

Thank you Bunny and Red Gold.
She is the latter category as in she goes with the flow for things that look trivial to me. Eg choice of plays as you mentioned above. Also some other specific examples: she reads books well but when sat down next to her friend who wouldn’t want to read for whatever reason (either they find it difficult, not in mood, shy or anything else) then LG will also choose not to read the book. For choice of snacks, she may like Tuna but may go for ham just because her friend is having it. However when I see her outside school, I do notice that she says no to things she is not comfortable with. But for little things she doesn’t mind going with the same flow as her friends...

That sounds balanced then.
If she was showing off how well she can read in front of her friend who wasn't so proficient then that would be more of a worry than her downplaying things. As long as she shows her teacher her true potential so that she's not given work that's too easy.

If everybody else in the group is picking tuna over ham, I can see why she'd do the same and that's fine unless she had an allergy or something that made tuna a dangerous choice.

Some kids can be very bossy. Perhaps the teacher was trying to make the point that her best friend could be a bit bossy rather than your dd being a doormat.

This could be an in class group work comment. Does this meme sound familiar?