Exhausting 3 year old- does it get easier?

[charley39]

Ever since my DS has turned 3 recently his behaviour has become incredibly difficult to manage. He’s had his moments before but usually associated with teething so would last a couple of weeks and then improve. I am 99.9% sure all of his teeth are now through so I don’t believe this is the cause.

All of what he does could be completely normal but all of my friends toddlers do not appear to be as hard work as he is.
He dropped his nap end of last year which means he does get more tired now and has started to wake up earlier the past few weeks, particularly on the two days after nursery his behaviour tends to be worse.
It’s the constant shouting, answering back for absolutely everything. I literally cannot mention the word no for anything without getting a mouthful back. We give two warnings and then he goes to time out for 3 mins. It used to work well but he now just shouts back that I need timeout etc or carries on the behaviour as soon as we finish timeout.
He comes out with the most random of requests that are followed by a tantrum if I say no.
Tbh we are just at a loss and my mood is so low as a result of his behaviour. I dread getting up to him in the mornings now as I know what the day is going to bring.

He’s always been quite a full on boy from baby to now but he can be a very good boy when he wants to be.
I’ve always just been told oh once he could walk, once he could talk it will get better etc.

Sorry for the long post, think I just need to vent! I’m sure people will read this and think what’s the problem this sounds normal, would just like some reassurance I guess?

Something I've found works with my almost 3YO is really acknowlege and fantasise about what it is they want and then rather than saying no find a solution to how you CAN do it. Eg 'oh yes I bet you DO want to do that jigsaw. It's so fun with the pretty fairies on it. We have to go eat dinner now but how about we leave it here in the middle of the room to do afterwards' It doesn't work for everything but does tend to for a lot of things and it seems to work well with my dd. I know what you mean about the timeouts. We don't do them we 'go to the stairs for a chat' but even so the backlash behaviour can be worse than what you put them there for. I might take her there because she's ignored me asking her to stop jumping on the sofa and before I know it I'm being hit and kicked and run away from and screamed at for putting her on the step I think it's about sticking to your guns and meaning what you say and refusing to be held hostage but picking your battles too. It's hard. I don't think anyone has the perfect solution and most kids come out of it the other side just fine so just keep your chin up and don't panic too much x

PS my first suggestion is something I learned from a book called 'how to talk to little kids will listen' which is a great book that was suggested to meon here. Might be worth a read. It's helped me a lot x

Thank you will try and find that book!

It’s a good point as I’ve found that if I need him to do something usually like help getting dressed as that’s a daily battle. If I say ‘I bet you can’t put your own socks on’ etc he then really responds to that so may well try this in other areas!

Three is such a hard age! My DS got a lot easier once he was four.

Have you tried giving him reasons for why you're saying no? Mine responded better to 'No, because...' than to a straight no.

With trying to get them to do stuff, I often resorted to making it into some kind of game, as you do with the socks. Sometimes I'd offer points - "if you can get your coat on by the time I count to ten, you get a HUNDRED POINTS!"

@Squiblet I might try the points rewards maybe see if that helps.
Tbh he has settled down slightly this week. Starting to notice a pattern with when DH is on night shifts seems to set his behaviour off worse!