nursery school

[maggiems]

Hi, I am new to this board.My twin boys aged 3 started nursery school at the end of September and have settled in well. I had a brief interview last week with the teacher which was intended to give me an update as to how the boys were settling in. She said that they were doing great and that they were keen to try everthing but then she alarmed me by saying that for their age they were a little below average, mainly in the area of paying attention to a task and in their ability to understand things like turn taking etc. The whole thing made me very upset and I am probably overreacting but whilst I dont think they are incredibly bright I had always thought that in some areas they were quite advanced for their age. They have known their colours and shapes for a year, know every make of car on the road including different models and can recognise numbers. One of them in particular is a very perceptive child and everyone says that. They are good at communicating and their speech is progressing nicely. Going by whats said in child development books they seem to have met their milestones at the proper age. most on or ahead of schedule , an odd one behind.

They have no older brothers and sisters and have not mixed with any other children up to this stage, something i regret now but i felt that they had each other and they were still young. They are unused to having so many different toys to play with and I feel they are probably trying out everything at this stage, they will stay with some tasks for quite a while at home now. They certainly understand the concept of turn taking and will do it a home but I would have thought it would have been common for children who were unused to sharing with other children to be like this.Does anyone have experience of being told this and is it common among twin boys. I know that twins can develop at a slower rate than singletons sometimes but i would be interested to hear what you think.maggie

Hi Maggie and welcome. Development milestones cause so many problems, don't they? My ds is 2.5 and has recently had a check up with the HV. A few people have commented on his speech (lack of clarity) but the HV said he was within the normal range for his age. I think there is so much variation with little ones. Like you say, some things they are good at and other things take a little time. If you are worried see your GP or HV. HTH

Maggiems. my DS1 doesn't really do taking turns and sharing unless I'm standing over him enforcing it! TBH I wouldn't say it was a developmental thing, just a social thing - especially if yours haven't been in any nusery type situation before. Mine is due to start pre-school on Monday and I'm sure he's going to have problems with things like that and being told what to do but, I guess, with time, they will all learn to conform! Try not to worry about it 9east for me to say - ask me next week )

or even "easy for me to say"

hi Maggie - don't know if this is any help but my Ds (3) just started nursery last week and we had to go to a talk last night about how the nursery works, objectives etc.

Anyway - the teacher there (loads of experience) said she wouldn't expect any of the new intake of three year olds to have consistent turn taking abilities - for her, most of the point of the first pre-school year was teaching that kind of thing (by having an adult supervise simple board games etc) as well as helping them focus on tasks etc.

I think you are probably spot on regarding them trying out all the toys - my ds is exactly the same. I wouldn't worry about them not having mixed too much - they sound like they are doing just fine.

My 3 year old son is starting nursery next week too so we can have a "how's it going at nursery" thread of our very own!

When my daughter was at nursery I helped out quite alot and saw a huge range of different behaviour and skills and speech and there are differences in developmental milestones in each child.

You know your children better than anyone, trust your own instincts here I think and if you are happy with their development let the rest come naturally. Children play in different ways according to the home circumstances too, ie the child with two older brothers can be more boisterous,an only child could perhaps be more shy, twins have always had a playmate so they may have developed their own ways to play.

I would try not to take it too heart and see how things develop. And they have only been there a few weeks, I think the nursery leader is perhaps expecting too much!

All the best and see you on this thread next week!!