How do you manage 2 year old bad behaviour??

[DarkGreen]

Doesn't wait his turn at the park, just pushes his way through whatever he wants to go on regardless of if another child is on it or in the way

Pushes other children if they are near him and he doesn't want them to be or if they join him on the climbing frame etc and he doesn't want them to

Absolutely won't listen to me. If I ask him to stop throwing things, stop banging, stop when he is running off is the worst one, not to climb on something, not to do something he just acts like his ears have shut off and he cant hear me.

Is this normal? How do you handle it when a 2 year old won't listen or behave? I dont know if I should be trying to discipline or is he too young to comprehend right from wrong? Or too young to listen to instructions??

Have you posted something similar a couple of days ago OP?

Your opening paragraph sounds very familiar.

It's hard to say ultimately you know your child best, but the most important thing is to make very clear what is acceptable and what isn't. I have different levels for different things, but they all follow a set routine, for really minor things I'll generally ask twice and if DD carries on I'll countdown from three, if she doesn't respond then I'll pick her up and remove her from the situation. If it's a situation where I feel she could be about to go into meltdown, or where there's something around that's too much for her to resist I'll ask once before counting down, if shes being violent or putting herself in danger I'll remove her first, and wait for her to calm before trying to explain anything. This works for me, but if that's not where your son is at yet it might be that you just tell him no and remove him till you feel he's starting to understand what the boundaries are. Most of all don't beat yourself up, your right in that self regulation, and societal expectations are things that need to be learned and just like all of the other developmental milestones kids pick them up at different ages. If you're asking here you care enough to want to do something.

Ask twice for them to modify their behaviour and if they don't then calmly say 'you're having trouble listening to mummy I'm going to do this for you' and then intervene. If they strop which they will, then acknowledge that they're upset and cuddles etc if needed and then when calm explain why you needed them to change their behaviour eg 'it's dangerous to push people on the slide' and that you expect them to listen if they're being asked to do something. If it's something quite antisocial like they hit another kid then just remove them immediately and explain 'we don't hit it isn't kind and it hurts to be hit'. I wouldn't personally punish as such. You need to try and guide them into training their brains to behave nicely intuitively and I think punishment just preoccupies them with the upset and shame of being punished if that makes sense... especially at such a young age. Just stay calm, mirror the behaviour you expect as well as enforcing it and most kids do grow out of it

I have 2 toddlers and they cannot be any different when it comes to behaviour. The oldest hates being by themselves and the youngest likes to shove, push and with his sibling threatens to hit them by raising is hand above his head.
We do the 'kind hands' mantra, thinking matt and we say what we want to see rather than saying what we don't want. This is harder than said, we naturally want to say 'stop' or 'don't'. In the moment its hard to try think of turning it into what we want e.g. 'I can you see you want to go down the slide, I want you to clap your hands until it's your turn'

There is a great book by Dr Stuart Shanker which would see the behaviour from a different angle of 'stress behaviour'. raising2children.com/mum-of-2-book-review-on-help-your-child-deal-with-stress-and-thrive/

The excitement or frustration could be creating some stress for him. He can't cope with the situation and therefore he behaves as he see's fit. The book gives useful tools on how to explore each situation to think of ways to reduce the 'stress behaviour' and teach new coping strategies for his feelings.

On a side note, have you noticed when you are angry or overwhelmed your listening ability reduces. It's how our brain works. I'm not saying every time our children don't listen they are stressed or overwhelmed. My oldest is a sod for not listening (usually focusing on something else!), but I try to assess the situation before wading in.

I say all this with my imperfections - I shout, sigh and feel I'm doing an utter terrible job as a parent several times a day. The above is my aim from evidence-based research.