6YO and (new) party phobia

[MyEye]

Any tips? DD has just started having meltdowns when she arrives at birthday parties. Having been excited in advance, she clings to me or DH, sobbing, and won't let go. It's all quite odd because she is quite a sociable creature and these are classmates' parties (dd is v happy at school, and has never been one to make a fuss at start of term etc).
She's not able to explain what she's feeling, though she has said it's not because she's feeling shy, it's more because 'I don't want to say goodbye.'
It's not like we make her go to all the parties she gets asked to -- maybe two or three a term, given by children she likes.
Really puzzled! Anyone had any experience of this?

Bump
I should say, this has happened at the last 3 parties, she won't even go in, which means we rearrange our weekends for nothing... so we're wondering if the answer is just to say: that's it, no more parties

Ds was liked this all the way through reception and Yr 1. sometimes we forced him to stay other times we didn't. Then when he got an invite we told him exactlywhat sort of party it was and had a deal that he had a week to think about it, and if at the end of the week he wanted to go then no questions he went. If he didn;t then we made some excuse. TBH I think he was just much happier in small parties or activity based parties - i think the whole hire a hall and run around it like mad dancing or playing party games he just foudn too overwhelming. A year later he's much better although still hates a certain entertainer and will not ever under any circumstances go to a party that she hosts.

titchy, thanks for your reply. DD sounds like your DS, she is easily overwhelmed by big spaces/noise too. I like your idea about a week to think about it. Did you find that he then went in easily, no problems?

No still had problems - but he realised that if he'd said he'd go to a party then he had too cos he'd already made the decision. He wasn;t anywhere near as clingy if he'd made the decision to go IYSWIM - I guess he felt in control as it was his decision to go, and although clung to legs a bit was fairly easy to pry away and seemed happy to join in.

what also helps is lift sharing - if you can get someone else to take dd to a party and you do the pick up, they're often much less clingy with someone else's mum ( or dad!)

really helpful, thanks!