3.6 year old not meeting milestones

[Bbq1]

I have a friend of the family who has a lg, aged 3.6. Mum is a lovely mum and dad is good too but they are quite young and very inexperienced with children, never having had any contact with children prior to having their own. Their LG has extremely delayed speech saying only single words having only started talking at about 3. Says a few very limited simple words like 'car'. As a baby, LG did no babbling or cooing AT ALL which I noticed at the time. Then, there were no gestures, LG has never responded to gestures by others either, such as waving. She is unable to chat or ask for things but isn't even slightly frustrated. She hasn't yet said Mummy, Daddy or her own name. I sometimes feel she isn't self aware or really aware of family relationships at all. When it came to the 2 year check as mum was slightly concerned at that point. I thought it would be addressed but HV said a child was only viewed as having speech delay if they weren't talking by 4 years and there were no issues so mum stopped worrying at all then. LG goes to nursery and as far as I am aware, they haven't raised any issues around her speech. Lg is also still in nappies, I think some attempts were made but didn't work out. I feel HV and nursery have let down both lg and parents. Lg starts school next September. How is that going to happen with no support until then? Lg comes across at about 18 months in relation to speech, max. Then there's the toileting abs social development. Is it normal not to assess a child at this point or provide speech therapy until 4? I worry that lg is going to start school and questions will suddenly be raised and poor parents will be devestated as no body has ever said there's an issue or looked into assessment /therapy.

I think that HVs usually say that speech delay isn't a problem until 3 and only then, it's assessed.

Sadly, I think that this may start to happen more as parents aren't socialising with other parents so it's harder to tell if your child is way behind.

But yes, it does sound as though they are being let down by the Nursery and the HV although we don't know if the Nursery has ever raised anything and it's been ignored.

Thanks for replying. Yes, that's true about nursery although she tends to take what Childcare professionals say seriously due to her own inexperience and lack of mum friends to compare with so. if they had expressed concerns she would have said, I think.
I have given lots of tentative advice dressed up as casual chat in the past but Unfortunately, we don't have a relationship where I feel I could just come out with my concerns. I sometimes think that mum.really doesn't see lg's speech etc as that delayed..Just feel like I am helplessly waiting for her to start school (at a school not linked to nursery even) and any issues picked up so, so lateor even to late.

Gosh it's really difficult because her understanding of what's 'normal' is probably just based on her own child as she has no comparisons to make. On the other hand she might be really struggling and prefer to bury her head in the sand and hope it's all fine. From what you've said I would say lots of red flags for possible ASD. I don't think there's much you can do though and I don't think children often get much help before school age xxx

From what you've said I would say lots of red flags for possible ASD. I don't think there's much you can do though and I don't think children often get much help before school age xxx. Sadly because she's a girl it will be less likely to be ogled up, if that's the problem.

Is there anyway that you'd feel comfortable suggesting that the parents try this progress checker from ICan?

Thanks Bunny. I really couldn't as I'm sure they're blissfully unaware it's an issue. As a pp said they could be burying their heads in the sand and ignoring it but I don't think so. That would be so helpful for them to do though. I know LG fairly well and just read through it. I would say for a fact there were only 2 questions that I could answer yes to.