10 year old DD maturing WAY before she is ready, advice please!!!!!!

[briarrose]

Hi i'm a new poster, really could do with advice/chat/offload! my eldest DD has been developing for some time, but she's really not ready for it, she's quite immature, i'm also really worried about her social skills, they're virtually non existent! Would love to hear other mums experience/advice. I just seem to spend too much time shouting and being annoyed at her, how do I break this cycle?

Could you be more specific about what is developing iyswim! I've got a 12 year old girl.

my dd had an early puberty, if that's what you're talking about. she got her period when she was 9, but with a little guidance she seemed to cope ok. she initially had some spotting and got very tearful and upset "it's not fair, I'm not old enough etc." about 2 months later her period came whilst she was at school, and she didn't tell me until the next day! she just said, oh yes, it was fine, i just stuffed some toilet paper in my pants and then got a pad and clean knickers when i got home. she didn't like looking so different from her friends, very tall, with smallish breasts, pubes etc., but just had to get used to it. we did have some hormonal shouty patches, but that's just part of life with pubescent girls isn't it?

it's the behaviour mainly, she's still thinking it's funny to talk about poo and wee, and silly stuff. She doesn't even seem to notice that she's developing, i'm worried about her social skills and how the hell she will keep up with her peers when she can't even keep up with herself. Just had a sleepover for her and her sis, 4 girls altogether, my DD spent most of the time on her ds. Am I worrying 2 much or can I intervene and help her. I don't think i'm making much sense!!! she's my eldest, maybe that explains my neurosis!!!!

She's only 10! of course she's still a child in her head even if her body is getting less childlike - my DN's (10 & 9) are much the same, as was my surrogate daughter next door (practising on her for when dd is older )She'll change a lot when she gets to secondary school and is exposed to more grown up kids , but don't expect any more than glimpses of maturity until she's about 15 -the raging hormones will see to that!
Lisa x

your right, I just don't really know what to expect, all the girls in her class were so close, up to year 4, then they split in 2, the bitchy - old before my time girls, and the I'm still a kid girls, I just want her to fit in, but she doesn't. I just want the best for her but she's still so young, I would say immature for her age. I'm worried that because she's still so young at heart that she'll get left behind. The there's the crying. OMG. the crying, she cries over the silliest hings. Is that hormones? at 10?

Oh yes - the hormones definately do that!
really, don't worry about her not being in the grown up too soon group- that's really not a good thing, just be glad she's your little girl and not some jaded,bitchy WAGalike, i think thats just tragic.

Briarrose, your daughter sounds so much like DD who is 10. I got a book out of the library for her and she refused to look at it, she is in denial, but I am not sure what she really knows as she refuses to talk about it. I know they will have a film at school this year, so she can't avoid that.

it's good to know i'm not alone! I am glad she's not one of the grown up bitchy ones. I suppose I just want to know how to handle her so I don't get so annoyed with her. I seem to be losing my temper with her far too much. One day she can be really charming and thoughtful, the next she is tantruming all over the show. we have waterworks for the silliest things. Then there's the picking on her little sister. I guess if it's just hormones then I need to go with the flow. I have tried doing the talk with her about boobs and periods etc, but she just thinks it's funny, can't blame her really. I do find myself getting all broody about when she was smaller, it goes so quickly. Anybody got any advice about improving her social skills, she really hasn't a clue. I'm thinking I must sound like a really pushy parent now, moaning non stop about the poor kid! I just have this mental image of her floundering in the big wide world with only her nintendo ds for support!!!