12 month old needs my attention all the time

[Lazyjj]

I could really use some advice. My 12 month old needs my attention all the time, he very rarely plays by himself and if he does it's only for a few minutes. I spent most of the first 8 months of his life baby wearing as he could not be put down. I assumed things would get easier, they have but not by much. I can't get anything done, I can't cook a meal, do laundry, clean anything unless someone else is with him. I see all these other mum's making cakes, exercising etc and I'm nowhere near able to do that. I feel like I'm failing. I go back to work in 3 weeks and have no idea how I'll manage.

How long do 1 year olds play by themselves? Do some babies just need more attention? Or is there anything I can do?

I can really sympathise with you as my DS was a Velcro baby too.

I think you may need to lower your expectations a little. Most one year olds do need a lot of input. If you want to get things done, could you include him a bit more? Get him to do things like put the clothes into the washing machine? What you can do in 30 seconds might keep him occupied for 5 minutes whilst you do something else nearby.

He can help with baking too. I used to sit mine on the work counter by me but you can but can get toddler towers which in hindsight are probably a lot safer...

He's a BABY. He SHOULD need you. It means you're meeting his needs not failing him. Mine is almost 3 and tbh I still can't do much houswork and my morning get ready routine is literally throwing a clean pair of jeans and top on and scraping my hair back because if I did this she'd be trashing the house. She can play nicely together and by herself but on HER terms and even tv isn't guaranteed to keep her occupied. I don't see it as a problem because she does have an attention span when she needs it. Look at it as a positive that your baby is connected to you and desires your attention. It's most likely the sign of a happy and healthy attachment. If you need a bit of time to yourself though then I agree with the above advice of involving with housework. You could also sit him im his highchair for a small period of time with something eg playdoh/fiddle board/messy play. I wouldn't do this loads but 10-20 minutes or so whilst you're in the room with him won't hurt. It's hard I know but please don't feel that you're failing by choosing to meet your baby's needs. Exactly the opposite x

I actually think he sounds quite typically and him playing by himself for a few minutes at 12M old is actually quite long...

That sounds pretty normal for a one year old