24 month old with only a few words

[LCM35]

Hello @lingle I have followed so many posts of yours so I know you’re a mum to late talkers. I am an extremely worried mum, hoping that what’s going on with my son is just speech delay. The internet is a scary place that would lead me to believe my son has autism. I’m so worried. Other than his speech, I don’t think anything else is going on but he just turned 2 last week so it’s really difficult to know. He has about 5/6 consistent words. He has said other words once but then we don’t hear them again. He points, shares attention, is very engaging, shows us things, initiates play so lots of positives. He doesn’t wave but will give hi 5s when people are leaving. I’m just focusing on the worst case scenario and could really do with some reassurance. He does make sounds but not in a jibberish babbly way I would expect.
I appreciate you posted a long time ago but I’d really like to hear of your positive experience.
We do have a speech therapist so that’s a good thing and her current view is that it’s just a language delay. What I need now is a crystal ball.

Any advice, you or anyone else who has been or is going through a similar thing,could offer would be greatly received.
Thank you in advance to anyone who is able to respond.

My son is 2.5 years and I'm basically asking the same questions as you! X

Thanks for starting a thread.

On a personal level both my kids are fine now. Absolutely fine.

Ds2 was on the sen register till year 3.

Do you have any ideas why you are focussed on worst case scenarios? Not a criticism, genuine question.

It’s a tough time

Eh, yes and it’s causing me no end of grief. A very unfeeling relative planted a seed in my head around 6 months ago. For what it’s worth, I don’t agree with what she said but that seed has been planted and I can’t unknow it. I wish I could as it has really impacted on the last 6 months of my life, not to mention I’ve also just had another baby. Life is hectic and it’s an emotional time.
My son was on the late side when it comes to pointing (19 months) but he does it now to both request and show things that he wants me to label.
I’m hoping he’s just on his own timeline.

Covid also playing its part as my son has not been around another child in a year. So for half of his life he’s just been around adults! It’s very unnatural.

It always does annoy me when you Google sppech delay and it comes up with autism as autism is not a speech disorder. Children with autism might have delayed, poor, normal or excellent speech abilities just like children without autism, so a speech delay in isolation is a very poor indicator of autism.

"very unfeeling relative planted a seed in my head around 6 months ago"

oh god I had this with DS1 - completely unasked for!

Aladdin that is such a good point.

I noticed as the children grew older that the ones whose primary problem was language progressed in more of a straight sustainable line. Whereas if a child has good language but doesn't "get" certain important things that go deeper than language, the language can mask that for years and years and nobody realises that the problems are not character flaws they are developmental issues that have been hidden.

@lingle it’s like I can’t shake the suggestion that there is something more going on than just speech. (Even though I don’t think there is)
I just want to enjoy my son without worrying about any little quirks. He might do something weird once and then never again but because I’ve got this awful worry at the back of my mind, it brings it to the front of my mind. I probably sound a little crazy, I’m sorry. It’s such a worrying time. I feel like I’m in limbo.
He seems to imitate actions to nursery rhymes and gestures but not really speech sounds. Any help, advice or shared experiences would be much appreciated.
I really appreciate the comments so far. @AladdinMum I’ve read a lot of your comments from other threads. Very helpful. Thank you.

not crazy at all!

it's really hard because people tell you to "enjoy him" and then - sometimes on the same bloody day - start wittering on about "delay" and other not-lovely scary language.

For me personally the way I ended up coping was to essentailly tell everyone in real life to fuck off with their advice whilst listening very careful to the wise, usually older, women around me who didn't give me advice but just somehow did something helpful. I clung to those people. I'm not proud of having been so tetchy and defensive but that was what I personally needed to do in order to enjoy my children. This board helped a lot too.
It did mean that I missed out on using photos and other images for DS2 and I regret that but a happy engaged mother is Requirement Number One!

@lingle you are so right. It’s just an awfully worrying time. We’re your children late to point or hit any other milestones. My son is communicating well non verbally. The speech just seems to be the missing piece. I have googled so much. Sometimes too much information is a bad thing.

god yes my children were late with absolutely everything language and communication wise.....

Too much information becomes a bad thing when it pushes you out of the driving seat of your own mothering. I think you would benefit from buying It Takes Two to Talk (yes I know it's expensive but I would invest). It will help you make adjustments whilst staying in control.

"He might do something weird once and then never again but because I’ve got this awful worry at the back of my mind, it brings it to the front of my mind."

I remember realising that DS2 was flicking his eyes side-to-side and realising that he was repeating his own name as part of play without realising the name meant him. It's a sickening lurch. I don't like to remember it.

You can do this OP. You take child's hand and walk through the tunnel with them because there is noone you love more and noone you would rather be with. Get to that point and you can start picking up knowledge and even - unlike me! - being prepared to listen to advice!

Thank you. Your last post has made me emotional. Sometimes I can feel so strong and others, I feel very alone with my worry. Everyone around me is saying that other than his speech, he’s not doing anything different from any other child his age. I really need to take the positives instead of focusing and getting upset about the negatives.
I really appreciate you all taking the time to get back to me.
I’m keeping everything crossed that he’s just a late talker.

Yeah the alone thing I remember

I was on this board all the time being honest and in real life I had to pretend to be someone else

The other analogy is that you are like a football manager of team DS. Other people may be star strikers or goal keepers but you are in charge, don’t let them forget it.

Figure out your tactics your way

My youngest was almost mute until she was three. The only consistent words she spoke were "Stop!" and the names of the dogs! Then over the summer holiday when she was three and six months it was like a bubble burst and she has rarely shut up since. She is now doing very well in her first year in university and the silence at home is deafening.

@IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere thank you so much for sharing your experience. That gives me hope. When you say your daughter was mute, did she babble at all?

@Lingle if you don’t mind me asking, when did your children point? When did they start to babble?

They both babbled at some relatively normal age.

Neither of them pointed ever!. Not really. Not spontaneously in order to show me something they didn’t have words for.

I guess they can point now!

Pointing in itself isn’t anything/isn’t important. Pointing only matters because it’s a kind of showing. Showing and being shown stuff sits underneath language.

But some kids develop in a bit of a quirkier way.

To be honest, I’m not really worried about that. My son points and does so for all the right reasons, it was more to find out if there was a direct link between pointing and talking.
I could honestly drive myself crazy with all the websites, chats and opinions I’ve sought. I said it before but a crystal ball is really what I need.
Once again, thank you for your input.

She would babble but not if anyone was with her. I would hear her wake up on the baby monitor and she would be making happy noises but the moment I walked in she would give me the most enormous grin and she would be silent. She was the happiest and easiest child, just quiet. She was very outgoing but silent when there was anyone around.

Thanks @IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere. I know all kids are different and I’m sure my son will get there in his own time. It won’t stop me worrying along the way though.

I would like to pretend that because she was my 5th I was completely laid back and didn't worry but her silence was weird enough for the health visitor to refer us to speech and language therapy. She used quite a few signs and was keen to communicate and was always happy and easy going. Just didn't want anyone to hear her voice.

Kids are funny little things. I’m pleased she found her voice in the end 😊

Hi any updates ?