should I remove her from nursery?

[sportscandy]

my just turned 3 d has just started nursery and hates it. She cries when it is mentioned, screams when we get there and has even started to cry about it in her sleep. She is just there for 1.5 hours, should I take her out and try again in 6 months, or should I stick with it?

oh crikey, poor you and poor lo . imo you need to speak to the nursery co-ordinator/manager and see how she is once you have gone. Often they are happy as the day is long once you have left.

How long has she been going? It took my DS a good few weeks to get used to a new nursery after we moved house. Maybe you have to give her a little more time to settle in?

Another thing to consider is maybe she could go more often? I just wanted 1 day a week for my DD but the manager suggested that 2 mornings would probably allow her to settle in better as she wouldn't have so long inbetween.

She used to sob when DH dropped her off (really bad) but be fine within a few minutes (he watched through the window) and is fine when I collect her 4 hours later. She's been going now for 6 weeks and this week is the first week that she's gone in happily without crying so it may be worth perservereing.

The older they are and the less frequently they go, often the harder it is to settle them. DD2 started nursery at 5m because I had to return p/t to work and she loves it and always has. DS1 was a just under a year when he started and he took quite a few weeks to settle, but he was there all day not an hour and half like your dd, so after the first 15mins he was always fine. It may sound absolutely daft, but what about increasing her time there so it's more part of her routine?

Did also notice ds was better when dropped off by dh and not me - ds probably attuned to the fact I didn't want to say goodbye either!

Also we'd always hand him physically over to someone for a cuddle and would say a firm & smiley goodbye and say something like see you after tea, yum, yum.

How many days does she go and how long has she been going?

Do you need her to go so you can work?

maybe shes not ready to deal with it, i had this issue with my dd about 8 months or so ago, she hated it and would screama s soon as the place came into sight, then came the night screaming which was horrific and went on for hours at a time, im convinced this was brought on by nursery, the nursery staff would tell me she was fine when i left, but i removed her anyway coz i couldnt shake the thought that maybe she stopped crying after i left because she was to scared to cry infront of staff incase she was shouted at or something? probably completely irrational but hey however i have recently started her back again and now she loves it, i think it was just to much to soon for her.

My dd is exactly the same really crys when we walk through the gate she just doesnt like it at all, the staff asked my dh to take her but it makes no difference he has to stay with her, if he does get out of the door he has to go back because she is so distraught so we have decided to take her out. I know this is not an option for everyone I know this is the right thing for my dd and I think you will know what is right for your dc sports, sorry not a lot of help really

If she doesn't have to go then take her out - she's obviously not ready. If she does have to go, then she will get used to it, but why do it if you don't have to?

Hi,
Are you happy with the nursery staff, if not maybe it would be better to try a different nursery rather than give up altogether. Our nursery assigns each child a key worker to help with continuity. Could you try staying with her for a few visits and gradually popping out for increasingly longer periods of time so she knows you're going to come back. My friend reduced the number of days to 1 when she went on maternity leave and found that her daughter was unsettled. She increased it to 2 days and the problem went away - she thinks it's because it becomes more of a normal part of the routine than an unusual part of the week.
Not sure if this helps

agree with everyone who said 1.5 hours isnt enough to settle there.

2 of my friends have children who couldnt settle at nursery, screaming hissy fits etc, both eventually found out it was because a member of staff (different nurseries so different staff, just coincidence) had told off other kids, neither shouted but enough to upset them. they have both started different nurseries and have both settles really well, so maybe changing aswell as increasing hours would help?