Worried about development - 12 month old

[Ak627]

I’m growing slightly anxious about my 12 month DDs development. Overview below:

• no pointing or waving yet, but she can clap.
• some babbling - mama, dada and other consonants but she’s not saying the words in any context yet.
• can understand ‘where’s mummy/daddy’ but no other commands e.g she won’t pass us a toy if we ask.
• She can crawl, cruise and is on the cusp of walking.
• will occasionally turn to her name, but most of the time won’t if she’s busy playing with something. Her eye contact is mixed, sometimes good, sometimes bad - this is a big concern for me.
• will copy blowing raspberries or pretend coughing but does not play peekaboo herself (although she enjoys it when we do it to her).
• still sometimes scratches at objects and when she’s holding an object she often opens and closes her hand which makes it look like she’s hitting the object against her tummy - is this stimming?
• will play by herself, will sometimes check in or bring a toy over but won’t let go of the toy to show me so I feel like she’s not bringing it over for me.
• she’s started tantrumming every time we lie her down on the changing mat.
• frightened of loud noises eg hairdryer.
• lifts up arms to be picked up.
• often just wants to chew her toys, will bang blocks together, knock down towers and then sometimes she’s more interested in turning the toy over or looking at the sticker on the toy - I think this can be a flag for ASD?

She was born just before the first lockdown and we haven’t really had the chance to interact with other babies much or go to any groups, so it’s difficult to see how she compares to her peers.

I’m worried I’m not doing enough to help her development. Hearing babies this age understand commands is blowing my mind, as she’s nowhere near that yet.

I’m noticing her not really responding to her name more and more which is really concerning me, as well as a lack of pointing. She passed her 12 month review with HV, but it was done over the phone around the 9 month mark. I’m worried that there are a few signs for ASD and I’ve fallen down a rabbit hole on the internet about this, which is really freaking me out. I feel like I’m watching her like a hawk and panicking she’s not meeting milestones, rather than enjoying my time with her.

I’m not sure whether to speak to a HV or whether to give it a few months. I have looked at the MCHAT and she would be high risk, but I understand this is for babies who are 18 months.

You sound really on the ball, but she’s very young.
The m-chat is designed for older babies/toddlers because so much of that behaviour can be developmentally typical for a younger child.

With my own daughter it was harder to get her attention when she was engaged in something. Eye contact is hard to judge - sometimes babies avoid cos they’re overstimulated or tired.

‘Showing’ you an object means she would just bring it over to you, not give it to you, so it sounds like she does do that - which is an example of sharing attention. Lifting her arms to be picked up is interacting and communicating her needs.

If you feel like you need more reassurance it’s worth mentioning to your HV your concerns, but mostly for your own peace of mind!

If her review with the HV was so early, perhaps it would be worth looking at the questionnaire for 12 months? You can find it (and the scoring – they never expect all 'yeses' in a section) at steeplechasepedi.com/wp-content/uploads/Forms/ASQ/ASQ-3-12-M.pdf. Hopefully it will reassure you, but if not, it gives you something specific you can raise with the HV.

The copying, lifting her arms to be picked up, and bringing you toys (even if she doesn't let go) are all positives, I think – she clearly has some communication and interaction skills.

She definitely isn't late on pointing yet– it seems quite common for this to start between about 11-15 months, and it's the last question on the 'communication' section at 12 months, so it's the 'hardest' and one quite a few children won't be doing yet.

In terms of encouraging her development, it feels really hard in lockdown, and I know I was really pleased that my wee one could start nursery last summer so she got to interact with other people and children again, but if you're reading and singing and talking to her about what you're doing and playing the games that she wants to play, you're doing lots to support her development.

She sounds normal to me. If you worried contact gp or hv though.

I really understand where your concerns are coming from, and you seem to have done a lot of research on the subject. Autism is a very complex condition - it's difficult to see before 12M and best seen between 18M-36M. It is difficult to see before 12M because a lot of the behaviors that young babies exhibit are sometimes stereotypical behaviors normally associated with autism but only if the child is older (18M+). Repeatedly opening and closing hands, walking on tip toes, examining small details in objects are all normal behaviors in 12M olds, you want to see them do these things as it's part of their development. Being frightened of loud noises is not a sign sensory issues, sensory issues would cause you distress from actually pain and not from being frightened or scared. In addition, responding to their name only 50% of the time would be considered "good name response" in a 18M old, so even less would be expected from a 12M old. The 'showing' gesture, which is very positive to see, requires the child to bring/raise an object to you but not to let go of it, if she were to give you the item it would not be 'showing' but giving which is a different gesture. Pointing is expected between 12M-18M of age, with the median being at 14M so she still has lots of time to point, months, which from a developmental point of view is a huge amount of time. There is a reason why the MCHAT is only useful from 18M+, the progress she will make between now and 18M will be tremendous - never again in our life will we progress as fast as we did between 0-18M of age.

To see autism you need to look at the whole picture, and from your description of her I don't see it, the vast majority is very age appropriate. I know how it feels and my advice to you, and this easier said than done, is to try to control/treat you anxiety, and to be careful, that rabbit hole can run very deep :)

@Ak627 you could be describibg my daughter who is 12 months old. I am also a worrier so it was quite comforting to see I'm not alone.
Your daughter sounds pretty normal. Also, fantastic response from @AladdibMum.
I often worry about my DD development especially as I have a friend who has one of these perfect babies who just do everything already.... And mine seems so "slow" in comparison. Oh well... There is a huge range I tell myself.
My partner is not concerned at all btw. And neither are people at nursery.
Maybe we just have to relax and enjoy them while they are babies... Time passes so fast.

@Ak627 how is your daughter now?

Wow I’d forgotten I’d even written this post. She’s now 4 years old and doesn’t stop talking! No issues with development.
I remember being obsessed with her pointing, but she eventually got it.

When I reread my post, it’s the writing of a very anxious first time mum, who decided to torture herself by reading the week by week baby development books. My observation as a mum from watching my own kids and my friends kids is that they all develop at their own pace.

I now have a second child who is just about to turn 1 year old, and I haven’t even thought about any of the above.

I hope this reassures anyone who finds my post in the future. If you’re feeling anxious about this don’t panic, they are still so little at 12 months. I would also advise not to google, as it sent me down a rabbit hole and made me so much more anxious than I needed to be. If you are really worried, speak to your health visitor.

@Ak627 ahhh amazing news, thank you for responding x