Eye contact in 3 month old

[Miranda1112]

Hello guys I’m looking for a little bit of advice. I’m a first time mum and admittedly completely paranoid that there could be something wrong with my son. We have autism in the family and I am an elementary school teacher so don’t know if I am looking too deeply into things. I’m aware of the fact it’s not a death sentence but if it is I would like early intervention too as I know how much of a difference this makes.

He is 3 and a half months and by all accounts is meeting all his milestones. Babbling, giggling, smiling, cooing and rolling. He isn’t yet batting or grabbing things but is very interested in toys so I think he will be there soon and I’m not too worried about that.

The strange thing is though once we move him from lying position to his seat or being held his eye contact is not great. I don’t know why this is as all he does when he is lying down is stare at you and smile. Whilst in the seat he is hit or miss. On a good day we have some good eye contact and smiles on a bad day he will stare at you briefly but we do get a lot of looking at the floor business. We have tried really hard to build him up to this as up until about 4 weeks ago he wouldn’t abide the chair at all. So I suppose it’s progress from that perspective. Whilst being held it’s even worse he rarely will make eye contact and whilst he is feed his eyes are mainly closed. Someone suggested it may be he is not quite comfortable with head control but he does look up at toys etc if you have them in front of him. If you are at a distance it is better but still not as good as other baby’s I see.

Another strange thing that I’ve noticed is he sleeps through the night 7.30-6.30 (no complaints we are really lucky). Napping is a different story, we can’t get him settled anywhere other than the pram/sling for like 1 hour at a time usually, often waking as soon as the pram stops moving. He will settle in arms for longer and there is no putting him down once he falls asleep or he wakes instantly. I’ve noticed though he seems to bury his head whilst trying to go to sleep in my arm or chest. Not sure if this is reassurance or sensory seeking? Or both?

I guess what I’m looking for is anyone with any experience or either of these things? Particularly the eye contact thing.

Thanks

Miranda1112 do you have any updates on your sons progress. I feel like my DD is going through the exactly the same thing but she's coming up to 6 months. Very worried xxx

Is she not tracking or making eye contact? I got my sons eye checked and was told he has a visual impairment and that it may or may not get better. Have you noticed any rapid or jerky eye movement (nystagmus)? Does she cross her eyes?

@LilypudS can you please give any updates?

Any update would be greatly appreciated

Any updates??

@Miranda1112 any updates???

Hi, yes very happy sociable two year old. No signs of ASD. Chats away and loves playing. Looking back at this post I can’t even remember writing this. I just fixated on anything I found to be even the slightest bit associated with ASD because I was hypersensitive to it. Once he overcame one thing I found something else to be worried about. Eventually once he started attending a childminders and I could see that he was exactly the same as the other kids I stopped worrying.

I now have another child who does the exact same thing. I’m not worried at all.

@Miranda1112 my daughter doing exactly same I'm very anxious ....she is only stares at me wen laying on her back that too not frequently...she watches everything else around but my face...she sleeps through out the night

@Miranda1112 thank you so much for the update !!!!🙏🙏🙏🙏

@Miranda1112 also did he start looking at you while feeding or? How did that progress ?

And just to add. He did eventually go down for a naps in his cot. I said hell would freeze over before we ever got there but he just eventually did it. It’s all about timing, readiness. He’s still a mummy’s boy and would sleep in our bed every night if we would let him.

My second child naps well, better in the pram than the cot. We just let him sleep there. Retrospectively, I don’t know why I was so concerned about him sleeping in the cot - I have many friends who struggle to get their kids to sleep at all during the day.

His eye contact is amazing but I think the most reassuring thing for me was seeing him with other kids. At this stage it’s a lot of parallel play but he does love being around other kids and is starting to do some imagine play with them. He gets exciting about going to play group and clubs to be around them.

My advice is social communication is a number of things. If you are worried about it one specific thing and everything else is normal then don’t worry. They are all different.

No never when being fed a bottle. I spent hours online looking for reassurance, I could see everywhere that they were meant to stare at caregiver when feeding. Mine never did. Once we started weaning he was much more interested in looking at me. I think he was just too relaxed and comfy when having a bottle/breastfeeding.

@Miranda1112 mine does very rarely I even managed to make him laugh one time recently but yeah he doesn’t look 95% of the time unless I engage with him in some way ! He also has a severe tongue tie and falls asleep very fast because he works 20 times harder than a normal baby to feed(I only breastfeed him) and I guess that he is very concentrated to get as much milk as possible before becoming too tired. He also is frequently annoyed at the breast because of how hard it is for him . So it sounds ridiculous in fact when I think about it for him to look at me when he is literally fighting to keep himself fed🥲. We are going to revise the tie but in the UK with dr Levinkind in London because in my country (Bulgaria) nobody can revise his posterior tongue tie, so we have to save a lot to go to the UK.

I know this is an old post but I was wondering if you had an update. My son doesn’t make a lot of eye contact and it’s really concerning me. Thanks!