Nursery or home with Mum??

[gio71]

My i year old ds doesnt go to nursery as I work freelance part time from home and so with me using his nap times and play times to work it has been fine until now. A few people have said to me recently that I am doing him a disservice by not getting him into a nursery, that he'll suffer as he isnt mixing with other kids and being stimulated in that environment. Now I'm worried they are right. I changed my job because I wanted to be at home with him and I love being at home with him each day. He seems a happy, balanced kid and seems where he should be development wise. He's not shy with other people and isn't clingy with me. What do other mumsnetters think? Carry on as I am or should he go to nursery?? I kind of think, he's only just 1, we are lucky that I can work from home, he's got plenty of time to socialise when he's older, surely now the fact that he can be with his Mum loads is great. Is that me thinking of me not him though????

You are joking aren't you?

Of course he should be with you. The people saying he should be in a nursery are nuts.

IMO at 1 - home.

3 - nursery.

If he is happy why change things?

However, as he needs less sleep you will have less time to yourself for work. You may want to plan ahead for this time by letting him adapt to nursery gradually.

Depends how much control you have over the workload you have.

Maybe a preschool or part time nursery from 3 but certainly not from one unless you need him to to go to work.

If he is 1 yr then at home with Mum , when older 2.5 to 3 then start thinking about a playgroup, nursery , preschool where he can stay fro a morning session.

better off with you at moment , if you do decide on childcare at this age of 1 year I would seriously consider a childminder not nursery .

I'd say keep him at home with you, unless you are sure ther will be no seperation anxienty. The latest thinking by the 'experts' is that childen shouldn't attend nursery before they are 3, and a childminder is a preferable option. My DD attends a (very small) nursery, 2 short days a week, and just about coped when she started at 2.3. I can only advise you to go with your gut reaction as to what's best for your DS.

1 is very young. It's great he can be at home with you.
Ds is nearly 3 and gets more out of being with other children during day.

He will nap less as he gets older, so you could think about how to deal with that.

ignore them, he is 1!!!
maybe approaching 3 then think about 1/2 sessions of pre-school (2.5 hrs a day), but at 1, if you are both happy, then stick with it.

Keep him at home, he's only 1. However, you say you use his play times as well as nap times to do your work, this has me puzzled as I wouldn't think he can play on his own at 1?

1 year olds don't need to go to nurseries. Their mothers may need them to go but that is another matter. They aren't capable of mixing at the age of 1 and certainly haven't developed cooperative play. As others say 3ish is the age for nursery/playgroups.

Don't let anybody pressurise you into doing something you don't feel happy about just so that you will be like them and help them to justify their decision to send their children to nursery to themselves.

I agree with everyone else - at home with you. There's plenty of time for pre-school when he gets older.

By the way I am not saying that there is anything wrong with sending your child to nursery for whatever reason just that some people don't have enough confidence in their decisions not to feel threatened by somebody who does not think the same as them.

thanks guys, home with me it is. You have just reassured me am doing the right thing.
christina, re play times he spends quite a lot of time amusing himself with his toys, swaying to music or watching the Tweenies & the Wiggles! I then have more interactive play time with him. He seems quite happy with this. I did worry that he should maybe be in nursery so is not having to amuse himself at times. My Mum thinks I am mad, none of us 4 went to nursery, we all just had fit round her and she thinks I should just be counting my blessings that I have a happy kid who is able to amuse himself for periods of time. And stop worrying about every little thing

If you are both happy and contented then why change.

Ho would probably spend more time amusing himself at nursery than at home!

Are those "people" those whose cirucmstances have made them use daycare themselves so are kind of self justfiying their decision ? Those reasons are daft , a 1yr old isn't "missing out" or will become socially inept due to not attending. If you don't need the time, why have the cost.

I got this alot from MIL when ds was a baby apparently she thought he didn't know how to act in a large group of people [hmmm] he is 2.4 yrs now and goes 2 mornings a week which works nicely for both of us.

I think a lot of this thing about nurseries is just because its become normal for most people to need child care so it seems normal for just about every kid to be in nursery.

We are going to home educate so my daughter has never been to nursery and won't be going to school, I have lost count of the number of people who think I am doing her a major disservice for not having put her in nursery since she was tiny and my neighbour keeps constantly on about it as the little girl in the house the other side of her is in preschool.

I think you just have to do what is right for your little one and re-evaluate the situation in a couple of years if needs change. There are also other ways to find opportunities for mixed play with other kids when he is a bit older.

I think most studies suggest that being at home until age 3 is great unless the home environment is poor.

After age 3 social interaction becomes a factor but a couple of 3 hour sessions a week at playgroup would tick the box fine.

There is huge sensitivity about the choices parents make about childcare provision and there is certainly a frequent need for women to "validate" their own choices by claiming they are the best choice for the child. The child is not independent of the family unit however, so the best choice for the child is superceded by the best choice for the family unit. This is why what is best for the child depends on the situation for the whole family and is different for each child in my opinion.

being born and brought up in Bangladesh i and all other siblings and cousins went to school at 5 years and after a little upsets here and there we settled in fine, all excelled in our studies and have to say we are very confident, assertive and happy adults.as for my son who is almost 2, he will stay with me till about 3, 3.5 and then maybe part time nursery because the best place for him is with me and the immediate surroundings.i've learnt over the past years of study in child development that the foundation lies at home, a loving home with the right forms of dicipline and teachings (not punishment and reprimand!)is the best start for any child.goodluck with you and always remember mummy knows best, the right answer is automatically inside you, you just have to search a little to find it.

Definitely home - with maybe a toddler group or two that you go to with him so that you get out to meet other parents? That way he does see other children - they don't interact at all at this age, but he might like to see some different toys?

I'm sure you do - but keep an eye on how much TV he watches - it can be quite habit forming for little ones.

Don't pay any attention to the "he needs to get used to it" crowd. It"s like my brother who objectd to all the pictures on the walls of our primary school because "they have to start getting used to a more austere environment - there aren't pictures up at work, are there?"

I think its dependent on the child himself and your workload.
I chose to put mine in nursery 2days a week (one half day and one full day).
Both of mine hated it at first, then grew to love it and didnt want to go home when i came to collect them. It also helped me with potty training at the time. Reinforced what i was doing at home.
Also, i think it does encourage sharing etc. Wider spectrum of toys and social skills ie, not to smack another child round the face with a building block etc.
I do think they get bored at home with just m face to look at 24/7. But i do think its dependent on the childs nature.

I put ds in nursery one afternoon a week so i could have a break. When he reached 13months he became very upset when I left him. Since then we have moved house and I am quite happy for him to stay with me. If I want a break now I ask Granny to have him. I take him to several playgroups, swimming, signing classes etc so I think he is getting a good mix. (definitely has a better social life than me)