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Behaviour/development

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Daughters behaviour

6 replies

m1r14m · 02/02/2021 09:47

I am looking for some advice, I am really really struggling with my daughters behaviour recently. She's 4, she's always had a bit of an attitude but recently it's getting completely out of hand, if she doesn't get her own way she will scream the house down and I mean scream, I will put her in her room to calm down and when I go back to get her she's thrown everything of her bed, and chucked every toy in sight at the door. She smacked me and screamed at me the other week because I washed her jacket because it was dirty and she 'likes it dirty', and this caused an hour meltdown. I'm terrified that the neighbours will think that she's being hit with the way she screams. She will just suddenly turn over something stupid and become horrible, if we take anything off her because of her behaviour for example her tablet she actually couldn't even give less of a f*ck. I've asked her why she is behaving the way she is and she says 'it's not me, it's Sophie' (her names sofia) and I said no Sofia it's you, and she says no when I'm bad it's not me it's Sophie coming out.... I've told her I'm going to have to speak to her nursery or the doctors about her behaviour because I cannot cope and she screams and tells me that's embarrassing. I want her to be embarrassed by her behaviour so maybe she'll actually realise she can't behave like that but she genuinely doesn't seem to care!!! Any advice would be amazing.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Verytired2019 · 17/02/2021 18:55

Bump for you - also struggling with 4 year old DD who just seems to have such a temper. Everything I do seems to make it worse. She shouts, stomps and screams like she’s out of control. I know that I am meant to be helping her regulate her behaviour but it’s so frustrating/infuriating that I often end up shouting.
Sorry that’s not very helpful!

BiggapTwins · 17/02/2021 21:28

Gawd, misery likes company (please read that I am sooooo glad I am not the only parent going through this Grin).
Bedtimes? I detest them. Sleep ALWAYS wins yet she's still up for the battle each night.
The gobbiness of a teenager. The acting/hamming it up like Zsa Zsa Hmm. Yet it took her 20 minutes to write 2 words that were already on the page.
One of my nicknames as a child was Madam (preceeded by Right Little), so I guess she truly is half me. Thank goodness it is just a stage 🤞

Loopylobes · 17/02/2021 21:39

Start keeping a diary of the times she loses it and see if you can identify a pattern, e.g. a particular time of day, when she's done a lot of socialising, when she might be hungry, when there's an unexpected change from the norm.

Identifying a pattern would help you find the reason behind the behaviour.

Verytired2019 · 18/02/2021 10:29

Yes @BiggapTwins - it’s the attitude that gets me! It’s like having a 14 year old, not a 4 year old!

@Loopylobes I’m not sure it’s triggered by those situations as she is mostly very well behaved when we are out and about. She knows there’s a time and a place to scream at me and it’s at home 😣 if I try and keep calm and talk passively to her I feel a bit like in gaslighting her as it winds her up more. Acknowledging her frustration and empathising doesn’t do anything either.
I think some of it is boredom as most days are the same around here now.

WendyGirl1 · 18/02/2021 10:34

Anyone else have a problem with their children making a mess with the recycling- the SO has lost his head and is insisting we spend lots of money (we don't have) on a new bin, anyone got some life hacks and advice?

Loopylobes · 18/02/2021 18:36

she is mostly very well behaved when we are out and about

That's not uncommon. It can be linked to finding things stressful but being unable to express any distress until they are home and in a situation where they feel safe enough to express themselves. It is testament to how safe and secure she feels around you.

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