My 2.3 dd still has bottles at night

[leah1991]

Hi everyone. So I'm going to put my hands up and admit that me and dh have built a really bad habit by keep giving out daughter bottles at night to settle her. We also weaned her fully off the dummy about 12 weeks ago but I said to my DH but all we have done is substituted it with drinks so we have another problem entirely now. She was already having bottles before we weaned her off do I guess we gave her one even more when we got her off the dummy. We really should of thought twice about that.

Because of the drinks at night she has been waking up for 12 weeks every night 4-5 times for a drink, milk or water. She used to wake up every night for a drink before we weaned off her the dummy too. We are so tired, me in particular as my husband works full time so I take on more nights. Yesterday evening something in me snapped and I said I'm not giving her drinks at night anymore, I can't keep getting up 4 to 5 every night just go give her a drink, she needs to learn to settle herself without a bottle. I understand getting up that many times for a newborn, but not a 2.3 year old.

So last night I went for it. She was asleep by 730 pm as the norm for her. I went to sleep at 9. Next thing it's 11pm and she's grumbling and I thought I know what she wants. I went to check her just in case I assumed wrong and she says 'ilk, ilk', even holding her hands out for a bottle. I didn't give her a drink and the grumbling quickly erupted into full on shouting. She worked herself up so much she wouldn't stay in her bed but calmed if I gave her a cuddle. I thought well I'm probably making another problem now so I put her back down in bed as j don't want her to need a cuddle up settle and she wasn't having it, do full on shouting, leg kicking and angry writhing starts again. After 40 minutes of this I moved her into our spare bed, as long as it wasn't our bed or that's another problem entirely. She settled eventually in the spare bed, I just sat next to the bed ignoring her. After 90 minutes in total I thought she was settled. I creeped out of the room and back into bed. 10 minutes I'm out of bed again and she's followed me laughing. I thought you little sod. The next 2 hours and a half was her messing about in bed and me starting to internally lose the plot and wonder why am I bothering to get her off drinks at night I got fed up of her messing about so I put her back in her own bed and I waited but thought it sounds like she will not sleep again now. I eventually gave up waiting at 330 am and left her talking to herself, expecting her to follow. But luckily she didn't, she talked herself to sleep. Thank goodness! She only did it for another 30 mins, which meant I was awake from 11pm to 4pm ish! I'm now t planning on giving her bottles in the day either. This is going to be really tough. My husband apologised to me this morning before he left for work and said he never realised how reliant she was on bottles to sleep.

Has anyone else had to wean their toddler off bottles at night? How long does this hell go on for? And does it pay off? Please give me some hope 🙏

Hey everyone. Well it's been another shi*ty night I'm so tired! Had to get husband to take over at 5am as I was at my wit's end and just needed an hour in bed. He was grumpy with me for asking and I said well I did keep her out of our bed Monday night, you know, when I was awake from 11pm to 4am! She has preschool this morning, I dont think she should go in or staff will have awful time with her tired grotty behaviour. This not giving her bottles at night anymore better be worth it or I'm going go cry!

Hi OP, not got a child your age but a couple of things spring to mind

• do you think she actually needs the milk or is this a sleep training type issue?
• have heard of people slowly watering down the milk until the child is just getting water at night and she might wake less for this?
• my friend with a child sinilar age puts her child to bed with one of those munchkin 360 cups so it doesn't spill but child can help herself in the night.
• was she sleeping ok with the dummy? Give that back maybe and try again in a couple of months.

There's nooooo way I'm giving back the dummy haha! She loses it in the night then I have to get up to find it so that would be a bad backtrack.

She doesn't really need the milk it's just she doesn't settle without it and it's a bad habit we didn't really know when to stop, that's all, so it's a sleep training type issue. I'm just going to go for a few nights of hell until she forgets about bottles altogether.

I also have one if those munchkin cups but the problem is she down whatever and however much fluid is in there or a bottle. You put less in, she finishes it and shouts for more, so you put more in and she downs it all and wants more. She's not dehydrated, just relies on drinking to settle herself. I've also tried a clip to keep her dummy on at night but it always came off and I had to frantically search for the dummy while she was shouting so I said enough is enough with funnies, plus she always wanted one in her mouth and one in the hand in the daytime, if you took them hell would break loose.

I guess I've always carried on feeds at night because my HV in the past gave me a complex about my daughter's weight even though there was never anything wrong with her. I got threatened with hospital visits if she didn't meet a line on that fu**ING graph in the red book which is a load of c r a p if you ask me as all kids are different. I took her to the doctor so many times down to my own decision because the HV always made me worry and left me crying alot. The doctor always said there was nothing wrong with her and tell my HV that, but still my HV went on about me having to take her up the hospital. I told her to get lost in the end, I didn't deserve to feel I was the most awful mother in the world for no good reason. Sorry got babbling on, just explaining why I've always worried too much about weight or when she's not eating alot even though she's normal and a healthy weight. It all links with why I never knew when to stop feeding at night, I've just felt I always had to because I've been left with a complex about weight issues so therefore I caused a bad habit for her. I know ultimately it's my fault though, my HV didn't help though

My son used to wake for bottles in the night (he’s 2.5 now) but I’ve managed to get him off them. I started by waking him up in the middle of the night to give him his night bottle, rather than waiting for him to wake me (1 month of this). Then I’d wake him before I went to bed to give him his bottle (1 month of this). He wouldn’t wake again as he’d already had it. Then I told him I want going to give him a bottle in the night but if he wanted something to drink he could have some water from his snazzy toddler cup by the side of his bed. It worked. He no longer wakes asking for a bottle. I also got it down to 100ml of milk per bottle with a bit of water.

Thanks for the tip That's a good idea. Last night was a little better, she woke 3 times and settled herself just by me sitting next to her, so hopefully she will not need me in there soon. I don't go in straight away but I always ending up having to at moment. I've got the patience of a saint right now