My 4 year old son holds back his pooh and gets very constipated.d.

[SRJ]

My 4 year old son will not do a pooh. He holds it back for days (sometimes more than week) and refuses to relax and let it go, until neccesity means he can´t control it. He seems to be scared of the act of doing a pooh - he says his tummy hurts and he doesn´t want it to come out. Obviously with every day it becomes even more uncomfortable. When he does go he doesn´t like it and gets very, very upset and almost agressive. In the meantime he messes his pants but that doesn´t worry him, and his behaviour gets more moody especially when he is forcing himself to stop the feeling of wanting to go. In all other respects he is a happy active boy who loves school and apparently has no other problems, and he gets on well with his 7 year old brother. Almost a case of Jeckyl and Hyde! The only thing that might affect him is that his Dad is away all week working but that has been going on for years and his behaviour does not change when Dad is home at the weekends. We have tried all sorts of the normal incentive plans to try and encourage him to go every day, and things to get him to relax, but he isn´t interested. The books say it is a behavioural problem but we don´t know the cause. We are going to seek professional help. Does anybody know of a similar situation and how to deal with it?

Hi I have a friend whose little girl almost four has a very similar problem. She has been given Lactulose so the choice doesn't exist about whether she has a poo or not, but most of the time my friend gives in and puts a nappy on her.(the only way she will do one). This has caused both mother and daghter alot of distress and i think that the more they make an issue out of it , ofeer insentives etc the more of a problem it becomes. There are clinics that deal with this kind of thing as it is very common. I would advise to address it in as low key manner as possible, and take child to doctors for a referal. Also constipation and agressive behaviour are linked which maybe why you see the mood changes. Much Love xxxxxxx

My friends nephew was frightened of poo when he was about 4/5 so his mum took him to doctors and he prescribed lactoluse. It is a mild laxative which means they can't hold it in! She used to put the dose in his juice.

You can buy it over counter but why pay when yu can get free prescription.

Hi SRJ, sorry to hear about what you're going through, I know how worrying it must be. My DS is 3.5 and finds it extremely difficult to let go of his poo except in his pants. Sometimes he'll do it in the potty, but 2 weeks ago he started holding on to it as long as he could and between Suday and Friday he didn't poo at all. I was v worried and bought lactulose. However, I also consulted a homeopath and it was amazing. He had absolutely no idea what the remedy he was prescribed was for, but within 30 mins of taking his first dose, he started talking about poo and drawing pictures of it (previously he wouldn't talk about it all). Then after his second dose, he proudly produced an enormous poo the size of a tennis ball (no exaggeration). Since then he has stopped holding back; he is still putting most of his poo in his pants but I am trying to be chilled about it, and last week he did his first poo in a public loo. So I can't recommend homeopathy highly enough. The remedy she used was sulphur, but (just in case you haven't tried homeopathy before) you need to get an individual prescription for your child as what works for one might not work for another. Good luck!

DS1 has started doing the same. He went from last Thursday to Monday for example. He then passes a huge poo - with blood- not surprisingly - and so we're in a vicious circle. His diet is dreadful (autistic so goes with the territory). I increased his juice intake but to be honest the poo was soft anyway so it was behavioural rather than constipation as such. I rang his homeopath yesterday - she suggested silica 30C (which is a very good remedy for him- but may not work for your son) and he went tonight. Much better. I've given him another one tonight- hopefully it'll start him moving.
She also suggested linseed (which I add to his bread) but said to make sure that we give him an extra couple of cups of water a day if he's having linseed.

BTW silica and sulphur have lots of similarities- interestingly.

sounds like my DD2 she would only poo on a friday,
mind you she does have autism and has probs with using other toilets, she was soiling her pants up to 10 times a day just a bit each time, in the end doc gave her lactulose and another med so she had to go and couldnt control the holding it til friday routine, it has worked and now she will do poos when she needs too, this may help your DD cos it makes the poos a lot softer so hopefully wont hurt her.

Interesting to hear what you say about silica, Jimjams, as homeopath mentioned she was considering this one first. Next remedy was calc carb, and now he is back to soiling pants, but is at least happy to talk about poo again (and invent new words for his favourite songs about it), and interested in idea of using his trainer toilet seat even if nothing produced but farts so far!

SRJ, you have my sympathy. We have had lots of problems with our ds, also 4. He would only poo standing up in a nappy. Every time we introduced a potty or toilet, he would get hysterical and refuse. Then he would hold it in, get constipated, we would give him lactulose and put a nappy on - back to square one again. It was so frustrating and I spent hours worrying. This half term I decided to tackle it yet again and refused to put a nappy on him, he cried and fussed for a dya or two but after having lactulose for several days he couldnt hold it in and did one on the potty. We were so so chuffed with him and he is so proud of himself. He still asks for a nappy but there is going to be no going back this time! No more nappies!

I hope our story gives you some hope that it can get sorted, finding the right approach is trial and error and it has taken 2 years for us to get there. Good luck.

here another nearly 4 y old ds who will only poo standing with a nappie on. Have tried bribary with chocolate but ohtherwise have just given in...

Thanks for the tips. At least I know it´s a fairly common problem! We have started trying a new idea which is based on rewarding him for sitting on the loo in the first place, even if he doesn´t do a poo - three times a day at the same time for 10 to 15 minutes. We have made the typical chart which he draws on every time he sits and when the chart is full he gets a treat. He suddenly seems not to be scared of the loo. The next step is then to reward him for doing a poo. However the problem is that if he is constipated he just says that he can't go, gets off the loo and draws on his chart! Oh well, we´ll keep at it.

That's good progresss SRJ. I think the key is small slow steps. We are still having a daily struggle and ds has managed 2 poos in the potty (it is more a mini toilet than a potty) in the last week. Both times it took hell of alot of patience (2 hours sitting with him in the bathroom the first time, one and a half hours today) but I made it clear we werent going anywhere until he had done something, went in equipped with a pile of books and prepared for a long wait. He is so chuffed when he has actually done a poo so hopefully he will stop putting up a struggle one day soon.

Back to screaming fits and refusing to sit on the potty today - 2 steps forwards and one back.

Sympathy, sympathy, dd was like this and it is awful. She would go for days, straining to keep it in. It was awful, she would spend have screaming and I was in tears by the end of it. See you GP and get some laxatives, the longer you leave it the harder it is to sort out. In the end the laxitives and time worked a charm and she is now fine but it was grim for a while. I hope that things get sorted soon for you.

Another vote for lactulose - we add it to dd's milk & it makes the world of difference, no more constipated poo cry thankfully. Hope things improve SRJ, as constipation is very distressing for you & them.
I'm interested to hear about the homeopathic alternatives Jimjams, I'll take dd to our local homeopath as this would be preferable to gallons of lactulose in my fridge

SRJ - we had exactly the same with our ds and he still isn;t right and he's 8! Dont really want to go into it all here but if you CAT me I'd be happy to discuss