How interactive is/was your 3 month old?

[Lunardreams]

My wee guy is 14 weeks. He doesn't seem to interact a lot with my husband and myself. I spend a lot of time with him and I dont leave him by himself unless he is napping. He doesn't smile a lot, maybe once or twice each day/2nd day. He also doesn't give a lot of eye contact and seems to enjoy looking at things around the room. He does love cuddles and being walked around the house on our shoulders.

He has had awful silent reflux and a late diagnosed tongue tie which has been snipped so wondering if these have contributed to him not being very smiley. I am autistic myself so it is always in the back of my mind my son may have this also.

Am I expecting too much at this stage / over thinking things? I am a first time mum and with lockdown I dont have a lot of mums to compare to as I can't go to groups.

He’s literally a few weeks old. They don’t interact much. He smiles and looks around - both very very good things at that age! Most babies don’t even do their first one off smile until 3/4 months. Babies this age don’t want eye contact, too much to look at or they just want to sleep! He sounds lovely.

(Ps my first wouldn’t look at you until he was about 6 months. Smiled at his toys and the wall. Walked at 10 mnths, spoke in sentences by 14. My second was smiling at about 8 weeks, laughing about 14 weeks, fleeting eye contact and quiet until 6 months at least... he is now 8 months and crawls, stands, cruises furniture, climbs the stairs, babbles and shouts non stop)

Hi OP,

My 11 week old is only interactive for short bursts and you really have to work to engage him. He then gets over stimulated and has a look around the room or likes to be walked about. He loves watching us move about/his brother playing etc. They are still very young and will be a bit longer before they are batting and grasping at toys etc and that makes other types of play easier.

My first DS wouldn't even give me eye contact until 6 months. He is not remotely autistic, just found it a bit intense I think.

DS is 13 weeks, and compared to my older two DC at that age, he is very smiley, active - he never stops kicking his legs - and makes plenty of eye contact. He is also very nosey and loves looking at people and things. When we videocall family he stares and coos and has been doing this for some weeks. My DB finds it unusual as other dc in the family were not like this.

Since last week he has found his voice and my God, is he using it. Also since last week he has started crying when my parents pick him up (they're in my support bubble), so he's developed separation anxiety alot earlier than his siblings did. He hardly sleeps in the day (wakes up soon as I put him down!) which makes him cranky so he does whinge and whine a lot and wants to be carried around.

All dc are different and I wouldn't worry unless you see obvious signs when your baby is older. He's far too young so enjoy the cuddles. My older dc (11) is currently being assessed for ASD and he had terrible silent reflux, and an extremely fussy, clingy and challenging baby from day 1.

@Lunardreams do you have any update on your DS? Currently going through similar

@Emmaflo He's going to be 3 soon! Can't believe how fast time has flew. He is doing super well. He is non-verbal and is autistic (on waiting list for the formal assessment but health professionals have said he very likely is).
He is the happiest and most gentle soul. I wish I didn't worry so much back then, he has done just great 😊

@Lunardreams Thanks so much for the update and glad he is doing so well. I’m struggling with the worry of it all at the moment and have developed post natal depression. Everyone keeps telling me I’m worrying too much and that it’s the pnd making me question eye contact, response to sounds etc but I can’t get rid of the niggling feeling that it’s more. So reassuring to hear from people that are doing well with an autism diagnosis though. I don’t mind if he is, it’s the not knowing and not knowing what our lives will look like that really gets to me. I’m not a very patient soul!

@Emmaflo Honestly that's completely how I felt back when I wrote that post and you're valid with your feelings! The unknown is so scary and autism is always painted out to be this awful thing when it really isn't. Trust your gut :) you know your child better than anyone. You sound like a really caring mum and your bubba is so lucky to have you as their parent. I found the first 12m the most difficult part so far. Even with DS being non speaking, right now, he's able to communicate so well using his own methods by hand leading, bringing plates/cups if he's hungry etc and comes and gets me when he wants cuddles/song time. I love my son and his neurodiversity, we have just embraced it and go with his lead.

That’s so lovely!! I’m an autistic adult and it’s warmed my heart to see your son being so loved and so accepted 🥰