Are easy babies...well...easy?

[JenWilson19]

Just a bit of fun/interest/self flagellation really. I would just love to know, those of you in the 50 odd percent who consider themselves to have an ‘easy’ baby...what is this actually like? I’m assuming it’s not actually easy as babies are...well...babies? Or maybe it is? But what do your days look and feel like?

I’m the owner of a 7 month old I would describe as ‘high needs’. He spent his first 4 months screaming, refusing to be put down but simultaneously hating being held, breastfeeding until he vomited, crying incessantly in the pram/sling/car seat and sleeping on my chest only. Thankfully life has been easier the last 3 months. Despite this, he’s incredibly hyperactive and intense, still requires contact at all times to sleep (if he’s ready for bed, I have to go to bed too and I’m writing this while nap trapped), he still breastfeeds every 1-2h round the clock, point black refuses a bottle or a dummy and when he’s unhappy, even a tiny bit, it’s full on meltdown. I’m not even sure I know what ‘fussing’ is haha.

I dunno if I’m overplaying it though - is this what it’s like with any baby? Do I quite frankly need to pack in the self pity? Or is the whole Easy vs Difficult vs Slow To Warm Up actually a thing? It’s so hard to know as a FTM in lockdown! Thanks x

I’m curious too ! I hope others reply !

I sometimes wonder if having an easy or hard baby comes down to personalities. My first born would only nap on me during the day . I loved it!! A good friend of mine had the same issue but hated it , was constantly complaining. That’s just one example but I’m sure there are many others . What one person might consider a high need/bad trait, another might not see it that way at all .

OK, you asked for it... Ds is/was a really easy baby. From birth he never woke more than twice a night and was sleeping through by 11 weeks. He's always preferred to be put down for naps so I've always had plenty of time to get on with stuff. He's a cheery little guy so when he's awake he's always playing and full of giggles. He will try any food (currently 15 months so I'm aware he might not have got to the fussy stage yet). He never had a dummy so I've never had dummy issues. Enjoys the pram. Enjoys baths. Just enjoys life really. I keep thinking it's all going to go downhill but so far so good 😬. Maybe he will be a nightmare child/teen to balance out the easy ride I've had thus far! Think we might stop at one as I can't believe we could have the same luck twice....

Lol @MrFlibblesEyes I thought that after my first one and my second one ended up being even easier! Currently expecting my third and I am absolutely due a bit of hardship.

Neither of my girls slept through the night super early but they were both very easy to feed and put back down so it wasn’t so bad. Neither girl is particularly needy,can play independently and don’t really whine or cry for no reason (so I know they’ve definitely hurt themselves etc if they do cry). Both are very laid back and bottle fed really well (eldest is a bit of a fussy eater now which is frustrating).

In saying that,i still struggled with both of them in the early days,my anxiety was very high which didn’t help. An easy baby is still a baby so it’s still hard,but I do appreciate how fortunate I have been with my two-I get embarrassed admitting that I always have time to eat warm food/have a cuppa when I fancy one!

@JenWilson19 maybe you will be fortunate enough to have a dreamy teenager while I am pulling my hair out with my two lol

I have a high needs toddler and it's exhausting. He is 2 years old and fixated on my boobs (still bf) and doesn't know how to self soothe. He is extremely intense and constantly has this sad puppy eyes. He is the reason why I don't want a second baby eve though I always dreamed of having 2 in close age! As to your question, my friend has a typical text book easy baby. Everything is so easy and smooth from sleeping all night to eating and occupying herself with toys. My friend doesn't face 10% of the battles I face everyday. My friends dd is a delight to be with whereas my DS everything is a battle and struggle. Everything's so hard and constantly up hill with him. I'm just hoping it will get easier for me...

I'm finding this thread so interesting, I have a 5 month old 'easy' baby and I had wondered whether it was as a result of lockdown life as our whole life is very routine and nothing really changes other than a few zoom baby classes but she can and does sleep through them on occasion. She slept through from 8 weeks, plays independently well although I am always sat nearby and is happy to nap in her crib. Her general demeanour is happy and cheery. I always wonder whether if I had a second I would have a more willful baby.

Thank you all for your replies! I feel my life is relatively ‘okay’ now (it would take multiple thousands of pounds to do the first 4 months again...) as I don’t mind the sit down/lie down when he’s napping and thank god he’s at his happiest when we are walking about outside with him in the sling (he hates toys and anything designed for babies quite frankly). However, when I describe my days/life to a friend who has an easy baby (sleeps independently, happy to play on the floor etc) she is horrified haha.

He better put me in a bloody nice retirement home. That’s all I’m saying x

See, I’d just say, and I mean this in the nicest possible way, I’d be careful saying something like this to the parent of a difficult/high needs baby. I’ve tried routines. God believe me I’ve tried the routines. He won’t accept it. If I try and get him to nap/feed/play at the wrong time, even if it’s been the same time for the last week, there will be all hell to pay I’m glad your experience is good so far, lockdown sucks doesn’t it x

@JenWilson19 I'm sorry that's not how I meant it, it was just something I wondered as I am a ftm so had nothing to compare it to. I know all babies are individuals and I can imagine as a parent to a high needs baby you have done it all. I also don't have a routine that's set by me, what I meant was every day is just the same so she naps, plays, eats etc on her schedule rather than fitting in around me trying to take her baby swiming or something if that makes sense. I still don't think I've worded that well, I probably mean more there is less stimulation to overwhelm her etc. Anyway I'm really sorry and genuinely meant no offence, and I didnt mean a high needs baby is because of something you're not doing or are doing. x

Also the overwhelm thing is individual to my baby as she does get upset on the rare occasion something has happened she wouldnt normally do, thats what I mean. For example meeting people outside (when we could) or visiting my mum (support bubble) she gets noticeably aggravated by the change

I've had an incredibly high needs baby and a routine was honestly my saviour. I currently have an incredibly easy 6 month old. The contrast between them is unbelievable!

A sad story on my end.

Mine was so easy, like the most chilled baby and I then convinced myself something was wrong with himself, I thought everyone was mad but me. He never cried, always happy.

He is a clever, happy, super energetic, loving 2 year old now. I wish I could turn back time and tell myself that everything will be fine and just hold him without all the worries.

Baby number 2 due in May, so let's see what the future brings.

Interesting thread, as a ftm i was also wondering what an easy baby looks like, i really do try not to compare but it is hard, my DD is 6 month, i would say shes an easy baby from morning till about 3pm, she plays in her highchair in the morning, while i have my breakfast and have a 10min shower, i then play with her and she goes down for her first nap at around 11am she wakes up 30min later, full of smiles, her second nap of the day is at 2pm, its an hour long usually, but she always wakes up very upset after that nap, she wants to be held, is happy on my lap so ill read to her, play with toys etc, we are practically joined at the hip till her bed time at between 7-8. She then wakes up every 3hrs but goes back straight to sleep. Shes generally very happy always smiling, its actually gotten easier 5+months, there was a period where she wanted constant eye contact, had real separation anxiety,it was really exhausting, i was lucky to share the workload with my husband who was furloughed, so maybe didnt feel it as much as a mum doing all the work on her own, she has now improved for the most part. I just tell myself that every child experiences the world differently and her needs change from month to month, its so hard being a baby having to figure out an alien world, with so much noise and sights, so when shes needs me more I literally just give into her and play all day till my husband returns from work, as soon as he gets in, i give him 30 min break and drop her off to him, while i do as i please, he looks after her then till her bed time.

I’ve worked in childcare for years and am now a FTM to an 11 weeks old. There definitely are babies that are far more placid than others, mine certainly isn’t one of them 😂 she’s an absolute joy for me but only me, she tolerates her Dad and hates everyone else, but I have to be giving her my attention 100% at all times. I can leave her for long enough to have a wee, brush my teeth and wash my face when she’s in a good mood and that’s about it. She’ll sometimes sit in her chair for a few minutes but not longer. People say to me that maybe it’s because she’s a lockdown but I 100% think it’s her personality. I think she’ll calm down when she can move around herself as she seems to think she’s too mature to be a baby 😂 I love her to death but she is a little intense!

I am due my second and not sure if my first DD was difficult or not, although I suspect she was/is high maintenance! I guess I will know when this one arrives

Easy second baby here. It was actually clear from the first few days he was very different to our first and was going to be easy.

He’s just a joy!

He was very sleepy from newborn, rarely cried, always seemed content.

As soon as he could smile he was always smiling and giggling. Eats his food no problem, roams around and plays with toys no problem.

He is such a bloody sweetheart and I think he will be an easy toddler too.

As for is there such a thing as an easy baby? Well no, not really they all require lots of time and investment, but it’s all relative I guess.

I know I am so blessed to have an easy baby, but I bloody deserve it!

my first was an easy baby 24 years ago. Slept through the night at 12 weeks never ever had a disturbed night with her even when unwell teething etc. Once weaned ate well always happy and smiley but had lots of health issues with her though fine now and the worry of that was at times overwhelming. Second one strong as an ox slept well fed well but the temper tantrums omg!!!

Ohh OP your lovely baby sounds identical to my first DS. He has just turned 3 years and has become a very easy toddler. Just shows how they can change.

So interesting to hear what easy babies are like.. what a different parenting experience it can be 😆

Yes... and no.
My easy one was dd1.
I only had her so it didn't matter when she slept. She slept through (12 hours from when I put her down, so if she was late down, she just slept longer) from 6 weeks reliably, she ate everything, put on weight, sat at 6 months and would entertain herself sitting on the floor. By 9 months she reliably had a 2-3 hour nap in the afternoon too, and if she woke early would just sing to herself.

Then revenge came in the form of dd2. She slept through finally at 18 months when the doctor prescribed sudofed, a marvellous concoction, no longer licenced for children. Quarter a tea spoon and she slept 10 hours. Only need to give it twice and then she slept. Ate nothing, refused solids until about 10 months when she tried first a chocolate button (given by dd1) then a lick of ice cream. If she ate something today she wouldn't eat it tomorrow. Gave up naps at 15 months, crawled at 5 months and walked at 8 months. That's a nightmare for anyone envying early movers. They have no common sense.