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Behaviour/development

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Dc and behavioural issues.

6 replies

Useru32685763485 · 27/01/2021 17:02

I've lost sight of what is usual I think.

3 dc. Two of the dc are easy going, have their moments like all children. Third dc a complete headache. I love all my dc but my third dc causes real problems. Example we go for a walk two of the dc follow instructions - "stay on the pavement please in case a car should come". Third dc runs off and doesn't stay on the pavement (dc nearly 8) runs across the road. During the walk we see a school friend who is isolating as are we - I tell dc not to hug friend because of 'the bug' dc stands next to me and does that thing whirling her hand next to ear as if to say my mother is mad. Nothing is ever pleasant with this dc. I dread picking dc up from school for fear they have got into fights/been rude at school etc. something I've never had with other dc. I've looked at my parenting but I've treated the 3 dc the same. I've not taken dcs out on day trips etc. because of behaviour of dc. I have rung for professional advice because I am convinced dc's behaviour is not usual...but never been able to hang it on anything. Dc presents as bright but does not pay attention (current investigations are querying dyslexia but I think there are other things at play) - wilful and does exactly what they want...also very sociable - overly so with strangers. I love all my dcs but this dc - their behaviour limits our life. Pre-school teacher actually confessed she shouted at dc...it's not just me. Every year I wait for dc to grow out of this behaviour, wondering now if it will ever change. Can anyone relate?

OP posts:
JiltedJohnsJulie · 27/01/2021 19:56

Sorry how old is she? Is she 3 or 8? (disclaimer: it's been a long day).

Jannt86 · 27/01/2021 20:07

I'm confused as to how you're both isolating but still out?

JiltedJohnsJulie · 27/01/2021 20:13

I'm confused as to how you're both isolating but still out?

I totally missed that. How does isolating whilst visiting friends work exactly?

Useru32685763485 · 27/01/2021 20:26

Not visiting friends Jannt. We were out for a walk and bumped into a group of children who were out playing (together) one of whom my dc recognised. Not isolating, sorry getting confused... abiding by the lockdown rules. But it's not just that. Just feeling exhausted by it...highly spirited child = exhaustion.

It's been a long day for me too.

OP posts:
Jannt86 · 27/01/2021 23:04

Ok gotcha OP. Have you looked at PACE and therapeutic parenting? It sounds like they are quite resistent to authority etc and as such might not respond as well to traditional discipline. This is really a style aimed at children who've suffered trauma or attachment issues which I'm not saying your child has but I think some of the ideas might still translate. A big one to explore might be playfulness and humour. If you simply want a good parenting book along similar lines then I'm just reading 'how to talk so kids will listen' and finding it very helpful. Good luck xx

Useru32685763485 · 28/01/2021 22:06

Jannt86

Thanks for your reply, will have a look at therapeutic parenting. I think you are right in what you have said about playfulness and humour. It's hard when you have other dc to look after though isn't it but going to take a look.

No trauma or attachment issues that I can see. Other 2 dc don't show signs of it...wondering if it is something I've done unintentionally though can't think of anything obvious.

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