Screaming 'tantrums' in 3 month old?

[ChubbyScotsBurd]

I'm currently sitting with my little boy in the sling screaming - and I mean absolutely howling - inconsolably. This is accompanied by kicking, thrashing, gasping, flailing, generally having a complete mental.

He did this most evenings - 'colic', so we were told. But I have this theory that it's actually just overstimulation leading to overtiredness. It's really, really difficult for me to cope with (I read 'Why Love Matters' by Sue Gerhardt and am now convinced he's going to grow up warped because I can't console him), and of course DP's not home for another hour.

Earlier today we spent less than half an hour at the library for rhymes, but we followed that by a stroll in the sling and he slept. Other than that today has been contained nothing out of the ordinary. As I type I'm standing and rocking and he's just doing big shuddery gasps, poor soul. He's pouring sweat.

He gets incredibly easily 'worked up' - poppy eyes, panting, kicking, sort of hyperactive. And unless you calm him down and get him to sleep (another difficult one!) within say 5-10 minutes he's then pretty much impossible to soothe given that anything and everything makes it worse, even breastfeeding is met with shrieks. All I can do is sit it out holding him quietly in a dark room or put him in sling with head covered and rock gently.

We saw a cranial osteoopath a few times, and each time he seems better for a bit, but it seems last Monday's treatment's 'worn off' because now we're back to square one. He is a bit refluxy, and has a chronic and worsening cough about which we're seeing the GP tomorrow. Any other ideas/experiences/suggestions? I just find it difficult to grasp that this is all in the normal spectrum I guess, he seems SO touchy and easily hyperstimulated, but then I don't have any baby experience pre- this one.

Ok, I have no idea what to advise you but all I can do is suggest some ideas:

Can you take him for a walk in his buggy?
Or a drive?
(sometimes I find the actual motion of being moved around calms them down)

Or is there any particular music which you listened to alot when you were pregnant which may calm him down?

Is he definately not hungry?

Have you tried putting him down for a sleep?

Or, last resort, if I had tried everything with my LO and he was still screaming for no apparent reason I used to pop him in the bath, even now (at 9 months) it still calms him down.

Hope this helps.
Lots of luck x

Thanks Liz. The only one of those things which will work is the bath - it calms him instantly. But when he comes out before he's dressed he's howling again, just worse. Otherwise we've tried it all. All there is for it is to totally remove stimulation. Normally he tolerates all the things you suggest but when he's like this he truly is inconsolable. Thanks though.

I'm wondering, I suppose, if anyone has ever experienced anything similar? Or is my baby just (very) 'sensitive'?

Oh - one other idea is baby massage.
Have you tried that?

Our DD2 was sort of like this with colic, it would start at about 6pm and it would sometimes take until 2.30am for her to settle. We found that by holding her on our laps, facing us, and slowly bending her forward then "standing her up", then back to the sitting posisition, (sometimes for a couple of hours!) really helped calm her and ease her.

We also had cranial osteopathy weekly,for 10 months and again this did appear to help.

Hope he settles soon, it's just awful when you are alone in the house with a baby you can't console.

Baby massage also is just more stimulation. I'm willing to try anything, but think I've tried everything!

He's asleep now (and DP's home!) so all good. Just wish I could avoid this mosery for him

mIsery

Oh...that brings it all back. My DD is now 8 so I can't entirely remember what we did to ge through it...which maybe could be some consolation to you, it WILL pass. Walking with DD in a front carrier and singing helped... if you like singing it can help both the LO and you - something you can repeat over like Swing low Sweet chariot.

I just wanted to also reassure you that my DD, having been a lot like this, is not noticably warped at all! And neither will your son be.

ds was very much like this - I was so well-versed at tantrums by the time he was two, the terrible twos seemed like no big deal!

Phew - transfer to bed completed (took a 40 minute BF but hey ho ...). Thanks from those who've replied. Especially anyone with a similar baby - his peers round here seem very different (aren't others always bloody perfect though ).

Have you tried white noise? I have a 14 week old LO that is sensitive to overstimulation...we have to be well on top of the game in regards to him getting enough sleep/rest, and like your boy its sooooooo difficult to regain sanity once he has tipped over. (we call him 'on the edge Fred'). Things that work for him when he is howly and shuddery are the hoover, the hairdryer or standing in the garden in sling to cool down while swaying around like a lunatic.

mmelody, thanks. I will confess to lurching back and forth in a darkened kitchen wearing sling with the cooker hood fan on max, and a very kind MNer also gave me a white noise tape. These things do seem to help but only really if you get him before he's in screamathon mode (he bawls so much he can't hear anything when that starts!).

Sorry for your troubles (oh how I sympathise!) but it's great to know there are other babies out there like this. It's like he can't stop himself from staring at everything maniacally but his wee brain can't process all the info it's receiving. Wish I could turn down the world for him!

my dd was very much a screamer, who grew into a tantrumer. from day one she slept, ate and screamed, that was it. later on she slept ate and tantrumed. every time anyone told me she would "grow out of it" i could have cried (and did, often) tbh! (so i wont say that to you ).

oh i tried everything but i never found out what caused it. her brother was an absolute angel compared. did the normal baby screaming when tired, hungry etc but was very peaceful in general.

i dont know how it stopped, or what caused it. she's still "sensitive" but it did become easier to deal with and did subside somewhat when she hit three. that's no help now i know but really, you remember how it was, but not how you felt. i could have torn my hair out at times with dd, (have many many posts on mn to prove it).

hope you find a solution. sympathy coming your way

Music also worked sometimes to calm ds. Loud stuff.
It is so hard when all the other babies seem so much more chilled. It is never ever a reflection on your parenting skills so remember that and don't ever feel less competent because your baby cries more than theirs!