I could really use some advice on how to navigate the idea of 'sharing' when you have a baby and a young child.
DS is 4 ½, DD is 9 months and wants to be doing everything that DS is doing. With DS we are working on sharing with other children and not snatching a toy that he wants. He is in reception and (pre-lockdown) there were a couple of times at school where he got into a physical tussle with another child over a toy, so this is still a work in progress.
DD is now mobile and wants everything that her big brother has. We are trying to encourage DS that if DD has or wants a toy that he does not want to share, he should find her an alternative to play with. He gets told off if he just takes something that DD is playing with and he finds it difficult to understand why she doesn't get told off if she takes his toy.
My thinking is that I would rather encourage and support DS to work out toy sharing for himself - to reclaim a toy by offering a swap if he really wants to play with it, or giving it up if he is happy to do so. But does this look like favouritism from his perspective? Should I step in and get DD to give up the toy myself?
Any tips on how to manage this situation gratefully received.