miserable 17mo - 'shouting' and throwing toys, ill/unhappy or phase?

[insywinsyspider]

not sure whether to post this here on under health but ds 17 mo hasn't been very well now for about 3 wks, its nothing specific, it started with a stinking cold (which we both had) and last week we had a couple of sleepless nights that seemed like colic and then a horrible runny stomach, luckerly my mum was on half term so she had him two days and I had a day off work just because he 'wasn't right/well enough' to go to childminders but I don't really know whats wrong except its accompaned but the most foul mood, he doesn't talk but shouts at everything and has started throwing toys, won't settle to play with anything - as if he's bored with everything on offer - some days he crys in the buggy and doesn't stop when I take him out, he's eating fine and waking a litle earlier than the norm but still napping well.... not sure if I'm worrying about nothing and its phase he's going through of testing the boundaries or he feels like sh*t and I can't work it out - he does perk up after calpol but more or less mongs out, am getting seriously worried that he's been having at least a dose a day for the past 3 weeks. He seems to be on a rollercoster of contented one minute and then really pissed off
I can't get a GP app till Friday so I guess I looking for ideas of something I can do for him, feeling really like a really crap mum today as I can't make him happy or figure it out

bump - because its playing on my mind, I'd rather be at home seeing how he is than at work....

i sympathise...i have the same, but without the illness and mine is 19 months. Was just horrid this weekend. COuld he be teething? We often get the runs when there are teeth about to come out.....

is he happier after a sleep?

it varies after a sleep, he woke up in a horrible mood this morning, I usually take his grow bag off straight away so he can get up and walk around but today he wouldn't let me for ages, apparently he was better after breakfast (I have to leave by 7am for work so dh called me to say he seemed ok) but yesterday after his nap he was lovely for a little while and woke up all smiley

dh thinks its teeth - he has 12 already.... at a loss really just feel like he's not my ds at the moment

hi insy

My dd is like this sometimes too. I always look for reasons why but have now come to the conclusion that sometimes there isn't really a reason and she's just in a bad mood. It usually disappears as quickly as it started (although can go on for a few weeeks same as your ds) and I forget that it ever happened. I'm sure the same will happen with your ds, I hope so anyway. Not the best when you're very pg though

hi skiddale - hope you're right! dh thinks its his teeth and that he might be picking up on pg and testing the boundaries - its just that he was away this weekend so I've had a long week with ds, feels rubbish doesn't it when you are trying to play with them and they aren't interested at all!

I eventually gave into watching in the night garden with him last night and he zoned out to it not sure thats a good plan but it might save my sainity when baby gets here

I think they also go through a major development phase at this age. Mine has just started talking and I think that now that he can communicate a bit, if has got marginally easier than 2 months ago which was pre speach iyswim. He could just be getting frustrated sometimes that he can't tell you what he wants.

I think its both!
My ds2 is also just teething with eye teeth so feeling grumpy, but has also just learned to 'throw' and is practising his new found skill on EVERYTHING!!

The reason I am so sure its a phase is that even when DS1 was very very grumpy, he never threw things, so its not like something children do automatically when they are in a bad mood.

incidentally, i think if you watch telly "with" them rather than just plonking them in front of it, it can be quite a nice thing to do with them when they are very tired....a nice snuggle up to mummy and something soothing to watch, as a kind of wind down....i do it with mine now and then when they are too tired to concentrate on playing.....

picked him up from childminder yesterday and she said he'd been fab, asked her if she thought anything was wrong and she said no he was lovely, honestly as soon as we walked through the door home it was like a switch went in his head - tantrums and shouting - what am I doing wrong???

tried watching telly with him again at 6.30 and he got up and started smacking the telly so after saying no, removing his hand and then trying to distract him I turned it off to yet another tantrum.... I'm too tired for this, feel like crying as I don't know how I'm going to do this and have a baby, I don't have the energy now, I was hoping this would be some good 'special' time before baby gets here....

thanks flibberty and horsewhisperer - I hope is a phase that'll be short lived, horsewhisperer - ds can baby sign so he makes him self quite understood, its only basic stuff but he shouldn't be getting frustrated because of that... really wish he'd stop doing the 'no' sign tho

oh insy you poor thing - it is really common for children to behave really well for other people and then really badly for their parents (and it is a compliment because he feels so secure with you he knows he can do it and you'll still love him) - but hard to take it as a compliment when you have to put up with it everyday.

I don't have any advice for you I'm afraid, just lots of sympathy and reassurance that his behaviour is quite normal and common and that my dd is the same!! Don;t know if that makes it worse or better!!

its nice to know I'm not alone at least!

do you just have to wait it out? I think the problem is knowing I'm doing the right thing in ignoring (well trying to) his tantrums... if not I'll be on supernanny in a few years!

it would also help if he won't wake up so early, he's just all out of sorts at the mo

ps was it your dd with dora trainers in bed?? last night ds took my hairdryer to bed, I extracted it when he'd falled asleep but he seems to have a fasination with electrical goods

lol at the hairdryer - no it was amani's dd who wore the dora trainers to bed. Mine often wears her woolly hat or wellies though

I think you are doing the right thing (ignoring tantrums) and it will probably take a while until you see the results but I'm sure you will. It is really hard and I don't know any more than you do but if we stick at it hopefully it will all come good in the end...

oohhh skiddale I'm so confused today he was a dream, loads of giggles when dh can home and played with him, he even stopped to poo on potty - bit of hitting which i'm sure is attention seeking if I happened to be looking at something else (prob because I couldn't see him signing) but all in all a good evening.... just very confusing! fingers crossed we get some more days like that - thanks for chatting, I don't know many mums and its great to have a sainity check!

Hi insy - oh I'm glad he was so lovely yesterday. I am slowly trying to accept that this is just what life with a toddler is like I think. Me and DH spent ages trying to work out what was wrong with dd -teething, ill, upset about something - a few months ago (probably when she was the same age as your ds) and we have come to the conclusion that nothing is wrong with her - she is just a typical toddler and sometimes is very trying! Hope you have another good day with him again today!

another good day yesterday so fingers crossed - we're also clawing back the sleep time he woke at 5.50am on Monday and 6.20am this morning hopefully by next week it'll be consistantly 6.30-7am.... this is more like him lets hope it continues!