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Behaviour/development

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Child behaviour

3 replies

Mumkay1995 · 03/01/2021 18:02

I hate the idea of putting children into brackets but I feel as if my child is over emotional.
I cant explain everything she does but the main things worrying me I will bullet point below.
Im not sure what im looking for or hoping for with this post, I guess I feel guilty. I feel as if I am failing my child, I feel like I cant help her with her emotional wellbeing because her emotions are so extreme sometimes. I'm just looking for anyone who's had a child sound similar and your experiences.
She is 4, almost 5 and shes been like this and slowly getting worse for the last 2 years.
She was sucking her fingers when she was uncomfortable, scared, upset, overwhelmed etc and now she's been biting herself and leaving marks (her teacher has suggested a form of anxiety).
She talks about death alot. Her great grandad she was close to died in April, and she still talks about him, alot more than I remember talking about my family passing at her age.
She claims she has an older sister who died, she calls her by name and says things about her, but this "sister" is dead.
She hates social situations, she will not speak in large groups (in school settings for example with her class).
She will randomly say inappropriate things when out like shouting "bum bum" and shes farted and she wiggles her bum at us. I guessed this is normal 4 year old behaviour but even after telling her not to do this, she will do it again shortly after.
She cant handle her little sister being with someone else, for example if she sits with someone then moves away and her little sister goes up to sit with the person she was previously with she will have to go back and fight her sister off that person. It come across like she feels like that person will forget about her, not full on jealousy, but like shes afraid of being forgotten or replaced?
She is very emotional and takes everything literally. Her grandad was playing with her and her little sister and her little sister was in an Elsa dress, my oldest got so emotional when her grandad said her little sister was a beautiful Elsa. She started crying and screaming and biting and sucking her fingers just because he called her little sister Elsa. She tells us to call her Elsa, she is basically obsessed with being Elsa. He then told her she cant be Elsa because she hasn't got the dress on and my daughter was heartbroken. I had to convince her to ignore him and give her the "elsa plait" and say shes the real elsa because her younger sister hasn't got the plait. It sounds stupid but I had to do something to calm her.
I've had many people comment on her behaviour and emotional side, some also comparing her to their children who are being assessed for multiple behaviour issues. I dont want to say my child has one without confirmation from a professional but I feel awful even contacting a professional and making my daughter feel she isn't "normal". She's my beautiful perfect little girl, I dont want her to think I'm making her out to be different, I just want her to recieve help if she does need it.
She is smart for her age and understands alot but she just seems so over emotional that she can't show her full potentional in school etc.
Am I awful? Does she sound "different"? Am I overthinking things?
Thank you if you got this far and for any stories and advice anyone shares x

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Conspiracyornotr · 03/01/2022 22:49

My son is now 6 and he has a meltdown over the wind blowing the wrong way. Everyday is a struggle ATM he will say strange things and go on anout people dying etc

Confusedandworried321 · 04/01/2022 17:19

How stressful and worrying for you. I have a 6 year old and it does sound outside the realms of "normal" in terms of the anxiety. It doesn't mean she has a behavioural problem, but I would definitely seek professional advice. It's tricky at this age, I guess GP would be your first stop?

I would also talk to her school and ask for a frank conversation about how she is there.

BlossomingSlowly · 05/01/2022 06:43

Sending hugs, OP, this sounds like it's been tough on you Thanks Some of the things you describe (thumb sucking when stressed, not liking social situations, talking about more adult topics, becoming so emotional) can be very much normal in younger children. I've previously worked in primary schools and saw how vastly different children can be from each other, it may just be that she needs more work on understanding her emotions compared to other children. Where I worked we had an intervention called "Positive Play", which involved allowing children space to talk through their feelings during relaxing play. Does her school provide anything similar?

Some of what you describe does sound like typical early signs of autism. Autistic girls can present very differently to autistic boys, so signs are often missed. Bringing this up with your GP could be useful. In my experience, early diagnosis helps a lot of autistic children in the sense that it opens doors to support for them. Again, many children display similar signs and do not meet the criteria for an autism diagnosis, so it could just be that your daughter needs a little extra support to manage her feelings.

Hope things go okay for you! Thanks

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