Parents with a child of 3.5 years plus with speech delay

[Journey]

I was wondering how other parents of a child who is 3.5yrs plus copes with their child's speech delay.

• Do you get sad and frustrated at times?

• Do you sometimes feel that at times they're is a very small element of laziness. For instance, I know ds knows to say please if he wants something but chooses not. He constantly needs to be prompted. As soon as you prompt him he says it.

• Missing not being able to have a little conversation to find out what they've done at nursery for instance.

• Sometimes just want your child to reassure you in a verbal way that he understands what you mean/what you've told him to do etc.

Do you manage to keep optimist all of the times, and if so how?

What do you find difficult?

My son lost all speech at 2 years and didn't get it back until he was four. it is still very delayed.
I don't think it is ever about laziness. I think desire to communicate is huge and if there is a problem it is because there is a problem iyswim.
My DS still has problems but his ability to make himself understood is immense. We always tried to be positive about communication rather than just speech and i know now how hard he works to try and communicate with us so all his speech is extra precious .

Frustration on both sides is quite common. Although DD's is not so much a 'delay' issue. Hers (we assume anyway), is a result of her lack of hearing.

not sure if optimistic is the right term, we've just accepted it and deal with it. he has a low IQ, we know that. others aren't so convicenced (eg aped) but he has, and a statemnt that reflects that. He's still lovely, a funny gorgeous little mite. The speech 9which he lost a few days before he turned 3, and is very slowly and painstakingly regaining)- well that just is.

Can't say I feel frustrated- resigned perhaps.

Missing the conversations? Abolutely! BIBIC (www.bibic.org.uk) have a poster that says 'imagine waiting for your child to say I love you'- yes that was me, that part was agonising! (He can say it now). We did have a home-school book so we could share what he ahd done, and now if I read the CM book back to him he will sometimes respond to what's in there.

he starts school january- I hope nobody thinks he is alzy, he's certainly not. Actually he struggles with so much yet pleae and thank you (despite being unnecessary in speech delay terms) are always used if he is at that level of interaction that day.

I do worry that the compulsory Welsh lesons will confuse him though.

I miss having the lovely conversations I had with my dd when she was that age, I get very sad when I see other three year olds doing the really lovely, funny conversations...

but my ds possibly has a speech disorder and has sn... he is such a sparkly, happy, loving wee boy and his speech is improving, so I am trying to be optimistic and focus on what is good... easier said than done sometimes... especially if there is something I know he can say and he no longer says it.

Thank you for your replies. I'm sorry if I've upset anybody by using the word "lazy". I'm certainly NOT saying the cause of speech delay is laziness.

His speech therapists have noticed that my ds is bright. They've even told me that they've had to change some of their exercises because they know he will guess what they're trying to do. This "knowing" is what I'm saying is his "laziness". For instance, he knows I want him to say something and he 100% knows what it is but chooses not to. When you prompt him he will say the word with a big smile on his face and sometimes finds it quite amusing! I guess I want to break the cycle of playing this "game" so that I can concentrate on other elements of his speech delay.

Journey, I do know what you mean about the element of laziness, but my DS who is just 4 is definitely moving on from that now, because he has started wanting to initiate conversations. Seeing how he is progressing makes me optimistic, but I always feel sad when I hear other children his age having conversations with their parents. He has yet to ask me a question starting with the word "why" ( now asks lots about how fast things go and how tall they are and about how long things take, but I would love a "why").

Thank you ladygrinningsoul. You nearly made me cry with relief just knowing someone understands where I'm coming from. I now know it is just a stage.

I'm very pleased to hear that your DS has moved on from that, but of course sad to read to about the conversation aspect. I just feel I'm missing so much. I'd love to have little chit chats with him.

Many thanks for your reply. It has really helped.

DS is 3.6, his speech is very delayed, and I identify with a lot of what you have said. I think he is pretty bright (but then I would be biased wouldn't I )

I do know what you mean about not saying what he is meant to - I look upon it not as being laziness per se, but as DS saying what he is confident and finds reasonably easy to say, rather than struggling with something he isn't quite sure/comfortable with. DS is very adept at pointing and saying "Please?" or when I model something, just saying "Yes" to it.

Thank you TotalChaos. I appreciate your reply.

what they actually say is as important as what they don't. So, whilst ds3 will now say 'I tell my Mummy' or 'Cbeebie ON!' I don't think we've ever had a question, let alone a why. Or what, who, where, how.... However, after being assured ds3 was no longer travelling down the ASD route he's manged a hugeu turn and now spends his days spinning and in obsessive behaviour, so I suspect thats something we have to live with long term. In the alst few months he's been able to say 'dri?' (drink) or mae bre' (make breakfast) which at the very least indicates some processes still in development.

I agree with Peachy. You can get some weird gaps in the vocab. Eg. DS last month couldn't say "again" but could say "mummy get purple drink". I found a very useful weblink recently about which order to teach what in, will try and lay my hands on it again and put it up here.

private SALT said to work on questions next with DS (he can just about put together verbs and nouns now), so that appears to be next stage. When private SALT was here she was keen to get him to say "What's in the box" of all things(!)I am getting some genuine "Where" questions from him now.