Almost 11 months development red flags or normal behavior

[kass12]

Hi
I'm the first time mum and really don't know what is normal and what is not. However I just feel there is something going on with my daughter's development. When I put all the things she does in the search bar it comes out with autism. When I raised my concerns with health visitor at her 10 month check she said she is too young and she will reassess at 12 months.

That's the weird stuff she does though:

-Lots of hand flapping (sometimes
even when not excited), like she would do it just sitting on my lap
-Eye contact is ok, but sometimes I feel she is just studying my face rather than emotions or what I am saying. Looking at me as if I am an object if you know what I mean.
-Touching and patting sides of her head with her hands very often, pulling hair, hitting herself with toys
-Putting fingers in eyes and nose
-Not consistently responding to name (quite rarely, never when occupied)
-Extremely clumsy
-Walking on tip toes when cruising
-Curling right foot
-Weird noises like growling and whispering
-Stiffening of body when excited or emotional
-Seems like in her world
-Everything on her terms
-Stopped cuddling and kissing
-When I spoon feed her she can get frustrated and start putting things in her eyes and get annoyed. Doesn't do it with things she likes, like yogurt
-Extremelt chaotic, always on the go, the only things that can make her sit is looking at TV, book, cards or eating cheese.

Positives:
-Fairly good eye contact
-Smiling
-Points at things of interest (she can point at something , babble at me and point again so I definitely know she wants this object)
-Can say daddy, boob and cheese in context. Although she doesn't call "daddy" when she wants his attention
-If I ask where is...something she would point at it. Eg. Christmas tree, lights, cat, daddy, bunny in books...Can point at her nose and definitely knows her name. When I ask where is her name she pats her head, we didn't teach her that.
-Can wave hello (although not sure if it is not excited flapping with one hand)
-Can clap hands and clap hands when I ask her to do so
-If there is some action going on she will be interested in it
-Feeds herself well with pincer grisp
-Crawls very well and fast, sits, pulls up, cruises. No delay in this, all on time
-Babbles
-Occasionally can copy when I click my tongue or say daaa she would say daaa (wouldn't look at me though), or if I clap my hands she would clap them
-Handle me things especially those she can't open. Or if my husband asks her to give him keys she will find them on the floor and handle to him
-Likes books, can turn pages

I must say that all these social things she would do on her terms, only if she is really feeling up to interaction. More often she is just in her own world, babbles to the walls and toys, smiling to the ceiling, crawling everywhere , touching everything, it is exhausting.

Has anyone else child been like this? Like she is kind of doing things, but at the same time it is just I don't feel any connection with her, as I felt even with my friends babies. She seems like in her world and all those weird things she does just upset me. Her hearing is good, she hears very quiet sounds and vision been checked.

My husband and mum don't seem concerned and feel I am just being anxious. But I spend with her 24/7 and also have this gut feeling..

Thank you.

Please do not compare your baby with others. She will do things at her own pace.

Stay away from google.

@vodkaredbullgirl thank you for your reply. I know I should but it is really hard when one thing comes after another. For instance, she has just stopped reacting to her name completely and all those hand flapping and weird hand movement seem to show up more.

On the other side she does call my husband "dada" when she wakes up and sees him. But it is incredibly difficult to keep her occupied and then we don't have any "closure" in our communication, if I show her something interesting and get her excited she just moves on in a few seconds as if I never showed anything to her.

I know there is 50/50 chance she will be on spectrum so I am just trying to see if anyone had the same experience and how things turned out.

She's not even 1 and sounds fine! I think you're overthinking things. She's way too young to know if she's on the spectrum. Her understanding sounds brill and a bit above what you'd expect on average and she's also doing a lot of social things that some kids don't do until a bit older. Babies at this age do do weird things and are still at the age where they're exploring their bodies and getting used to what they can do. Self stimulating behaviour is also common at this age. Mine hand flapped a bit at this age and still does at age 2.5 when she gets super upset. I'm not worried she's autistic. How co-ordinated exactly do you expect an 11MO to be?? Keep an eye on things but honestly I don't think anything is wrong based on what you're saying. You won't really have a true idea how things are heading til at least 18MO and even then kids may still grow out of traits and develop immensely after this. Don't worry for now and definitely get out of the mindframe that she's definitely autistic. It's far too early to know one way or the other x

@Jannt86 thank you very much for your reply and reassurance. I know I need to let her grow and see how she will develop. It is just hard as she seems to be losing the positives she had. Like today I hardly can get any eye contact and she refused to give hi-five. Looked at my hand in frustration and mumbled something so I knew she understood what I wanted from her, but refused to do it. She also started taking my hand and placing it on things of interest, like if I spin a toy and she wants it again, she would take my hand and put it there. It scares me she shows so many traits so early and I don't know how I will be able to cope with it. Lockdown doesn't help much as we are stuck indoors and I just feel very lonely and isolated. I plan to call HV today so at least we can check the foot curling with physio.

I also ordered a book which shows the way to interact with children with autism and teaching them communication skills. She is too young, but I feel I may start doing something now and it won't hurt either way...My mum seems to think she is concentrating on learning how to walk and that's the reason for some regression. I guess I only can wait and see.

But thank you again for some words of reassurance.

Hi @kass12 , I know this is an old thread but if you happen to see this, could you post an update please x

Hello! Yes , sure. My daughter just turned 3 and she is doing very well. She is still very strong willed , everything on her terms and she is curious about the world, very active, running and jumping everywhere, I would lie if I said she is not a hard work :)

But she is also very bright , talks a storm, is very independent, gives me lots of hugs and kisses, tells me she loves me, which was something I thought I would never get...

It was extremely hard to wait and see how she would develop and along with my anxiety and depression it was twice as hard. I ended up getting prescribed antidepressants which helped a little to get through those times. What I've learnt is babies have A TON of autistic traits, even when I look at very young children now I think wow half of them are absolutely in their world. It is hard to just wait, but what helped me was finding something to be happy about on this particular day and also some physical exercise, getting out, watching long series when she was asleep. Something that would take me off Google really.

I hope this helps.

Thank you for taking the time to reply, lovely to hear she's made such amazing progress! I've seen how difficult little ones can be but at the same time it's so rewarding.

I can definately identify with this, my anxiety gets the worst of me and I can't shrug things off without knowing, hence why I've been trawling through all the threads I possibly could for some reassurance! Thank you again, honestly you've been very helpful x

Hi
going through exactly the same with my Dd 17 months and I am extremely anxious by nature . How’s your DD doing as of now ? ❤️

Hello :)

My daughter is 4 years old now and going to school this September. She is doing very well!

Her speech is amazing, she is very observant and kind little girl. She is also developing a good sense of humour and actually makes me laugh a lot.

I'd say I don't have any concerns autism wise anymore. Whatever I've seen when she was little I put now as her character traits. We all have sensory things, repetitive behaviours and so on, it is just a little more obvious when they are little and can't communicate much.

I am still working on my anxiety and it gets better as she gets older I'm afraid , so I can't really advise anything more than I already did in my earlier reply... I did become quite overprotective of her and now trying to work on that!

17 months is a tough age as it is still quite "toddlery", so hang on in there! :) do you have any particular concerns? X

Thank you so much for your answer and I am so pleased to know that your DD is doing well and enjoying her life ☺️. I don’t expect anything but I was wondering if you could give me a bit of advice as a more seasoned mum ☺️ : my DD is 17 months and she has 50 plus words and some sentences, she can walk and run ever since she was 12 months , can gesture ( wave , clap and point ) , eat and sleep well through the night , responds to name and follow our point . My main concern is that when she walks ( if excited or anxious ) tend to tip toe and It seems to be a common pattern for autism . I am probably jumping the gun and should control my anxiety . I have tried my GP and HV over and over again . They have seen her and no center an and she is quite engaging. she is shy around other kids and tend to watch them from afar . Would you see any red flags in what I described ?

No problem at all! I know how it can spiral so I am more than happy to answer your questions. Obviously I am not a professional, but no, I don't see any concerns at all with your DD. My daughter used to tiptoe when she was little and then kind of just stopped. She still does it sometimes, but not often, mainly when she is barefoot and she is just weary of the floor that might be wet or dirty. Moreover she can flap her hands when she is overexcited about something, but this is what I have learned, you need to look at the picture as a whole.

Autism is a combination of traits, it is not just tiptoes walking or hand flapping. Also , it is a social communication disorder, so I would be first looking into that (speech, understanding, name response, social engagement, pointing etc), and it seems your little one is doing great for her age and just on track!

I'd say reach out to your GP for yourself really, to try and control the anxiety as at some point you risk to just let it overwhelm you and you won't really enjoy anything anymore , it all will be just a worry about this or that. There are many types of therapy you can try, even medication which helped me quite a lot, just to calm the nervous system down. You are doing great, just need to remember to take care of yourself :)